Hi IntellectualEmpath,
Welcome to Sciforums!
The issue you raise seems to becoming more common.
I know of many families ( including my own ) facing similar or variations to what you describe for your own family situation.
To me, part of the solution to the vexation, is also, like "Sophie's Choice" a question of "responsibility".
Claiming responsibility is also claiming control. Control over a situation like this is not possible. So why feel responsible?
At some point in time you will be forced by circumstance beyond your control to allow society to help you, as it must. ( if anything to protect itself from circumstances beyond it's control ) It is not just your child's sibling that is potentially in harms way, but those in the society generally.
Having a grandson who, apart from being incredibly smart ( 4 school years ahead of his class -especially Math and science) and fundamentally a beautiful heart, launches into an irrational and severe aggression as soon as his boundaries are breached, can be extremely challenging.
Even at 11 years of age his behavior can be quite threatening. It is anticipated that as he grows in physical size he will be even more threatening, intimidating with potentially lethal consequences. By the time he makes 16-ish, presuming that his behavior maintains it's medico-socially expected trend**, he will probably enter the juvenile justice system for the first time and eventually be institutionalized by society and not his family.
** So far this year , with an awful amount of support through special needs schooling etc, his behavior has radically improved. So there is hope that he may see adulthood with out falling foul of society in general. Learning to have insight, anger management and self restraint by unconventional methods seems to be working so far.
One key I have found was during a long conversation with my daughter which I shall recount in brief below:
"Do you feel your son is special, extraordinary and deserving of the effort?"
"Yes , he is extremely smart, loving and incredibly sensitive"
"Then why are you attempting to force him to be "normal"?"
"Un-normal is not the same as ab-normal" qq-2006
Again,
Welcome to sciforums and best of luck!
Welcome to Sciforums!
The issue you raise seems to becoming more common.
I know of many families ( including my own ) facing similar or variations to what you describe for your own family situation.
To me, part of the solution to the vexation, is also, like "Sophie's Choice" a question of "responsibility".
Claiming responsibility is also claiming control. Control over a situation like this is not possible. So why feel responsible?
At some point in time you will be forced by circumstance beyond your control to allow society to help you, as it must. ( if anything to protect itself from circumstances beyond it's control ) It is not just your child's sibling that is potentially in harms way, but those in the society generally.
Having a grandson who, apart from being incredibly smart ( 4 school years ahead of his class -especially Math and science) and fundamentally a beautiful heart, launches into an irrational and severe aggression as soon as his boundaries are breached, can be extremely challenging.
Even at 11 years of age his behavior can be quite threatening. It is anticipated that as he grows in physical size he will be even more threatening, intimidating with potentially lethal consequences. By the time he makes 16-ish, presuming that his behavior maintains it's medico-socially expected trend**, he will probably enter the juvenile justice system for the first time and eventually be institutionalized by society and not his family.
** So far this year , with an awful amount of support through special needs schooling etc, his behavior has radically improved. So there is hope that he may see adulthood with out falling foul of society in general. Learning to have insight, anger management and self restraint by unconventional methods seems to be working so far.
One key I have found was during a long conversation with my daughter which I shall recount in brief below:
"Do you feel your son is special, extraordinary and deserving of the effort?"
"Yes , he is extremely smart, loving and incredibly sensitive"
"Then why are you attempting to force him to be "normal"?"
"Un-normal is not the same as ab-normal" qq-2006
Again,
Welcome to sciforums and best of luck!