. . . . I still am having trouble coming to terms that when we die.. were just dead. I know thats how it is, and since we wont be conceous it really wont matter once we are, but while i am still alive it makes me a bit uneasy i suppose.
This is why a sense of
community is so important. Civilization has been advancing for twelve thousand years--although not monotonically, there have been some stunning reversals. The reason it advances is that, on the average,
everyone puts a little more into it than they take out.
Some people don't manage to do that for various reasons, such as physical or mental weakness or plain old bad luck. And a small number of people are selfish sociopaths who take without giving. But as long as the majority of people
try, human culture will continue to evolve.
While you're alive, you should be proud to be a cell in this magnificent super-organism we call civilization. And you should manifest that pride in your effort to contribute. This does not mean that you don't get to have fun and enjoy life, but in modern life with its excess of leisure time over work time, you'll still have plenty of time, energy and other resources to do a little something for the benefit of everyone.
Then as you approach death you can look back on what you've done for the whole human race, and be content that you've made the most of your life.
The only people who angrily regret the inevitability of death (in adulthood that is; children can be forgiven for not understanding the universe, although paradoxically they are the ones who court danger) are the selfish ones. They want just one more doughnut, one more beautiful sunset, one more ski vacation, one more love affair. People who don't look back with contentment on their achievements are usually the ones who haven't tried to achieve anything.
Of course I'm giving short shrift to the people who tried and failed through no fault of their own. And to the people whose lives are cut short by tragedy. It's not easy to find the words to say to those people and I'm glad you (apparently) are not one of them.
My wife and I don't have children and we've had no trouble accomplishing things we're proud of anyway. But most people try to raise children they can be proud of, and this is said to be a tremendous comfort at the end of life. This is why it's been argued, and IMHO never refuted convincingly, that the absolute worst fate that can befall a human being is to have his child die while he is still alive. We have one friend to whom that happened, and by golly we can think of nothing to say to her except the empty words, "I'm sorry."
