Should polygamy be legal?

[Pete]

Should polygamy be legal?
If I want to live with two women and two other men, should we be allowed to all marry each other?

Our kids would have lots of loving parents, the separation of one parent (God forbid) would be less shattering for the children, our family would use less resources than if we were living spearately, and it won't be a source of tension when one parent doesn't want sex for a time, as long as there at least two who do!

 

[SwedishFish]

yes but only if polyandry is also permitted

 

[Pete]

You're thinking of polygyny. Polygamy is the general term.

Polygyny - more than one wife at a time
Polyandry - more than one husband at a time
Polygamy - more than one spouse at a time

 

[DarkEyedBeauty]

Questions spring up all over the place.

First of all...why marriage at all? If you're with that many people, why be married. Marriage is 'sacred'. It's a union of two people for their lives. You're completely going against the point of marriage. And if you're with those other people, would sex with an outside person be looked down upon? I'm sure the type of person who would enter into a multiples marriage would not be hard pressed to sleep with someone outside the group. So if that is ok...why get married at all? Why not just live together?

Secondly...marriage is religious. Sure, coupling preceeds all current religions, but marriage is just a religious fixture. And the bible, the only religious book I know enough about to make claims, doesn't really look lightly upon polygamy. So, if you are religious...christian, you shouldn't do it. If you're not...there's really no point. Why not just all live together? Create your own ceremony. If it's not the government's business...good, just go ahead and have it be something that is special to you, and outside of the government's knowledge.

I'm all for multiple relationships...but I'm not religious.

 

[Pete]

First of all...why marriage at all? If you're with that many people, why be married. Marriage is 'sacred'. It's a union of two people for their lives. You're completely going against the point of marriage.

Marriage is about a legal commitment, hypothetically for life. The number two is abritrary. You do know that polygamy is not exactly an unknown practice?

And if you're with those other people, would sex with an outside person be looked down upon? I'm sure the type of person who would enter into a multiples marriage would not be hard pressed to sleep with someone outside the group.

If it was me, then sex with an outisde person would certainly be looked down on. Even more so, because the unfaithful one is threatening the health of not just one spouse, but several.
I'm not sure what you mean by "the type of person...". Yes, there are people who lean toward promiscuity. That's going to be a problem regardless of the legality of polygamy.

Secondly...marriage is religious. Sure, coupling preceeds all current religions, but marriage is just a religious fixture. And the bible, the only religious book I know enough about to make claims, doesn't really look lightly upon polygamy. So, if you are religious...christian, you shouldn't do it. If you're not...there's really no point. Why not just all live together? Create your own ceremony. If it's not the government's business...good, just go ahead and have it be something that is special to you, and outside of the government's knowledge.

Mainstream Christianity doesn't have a monopoly on marriage! Marriage is a social institution just as much as a religious one. It's a legal contract between people that formalizes certain obligations between the parties concerned, with a primary goal of facilitating the upbringing of children.

Regarding religion, do you suggest that Islamic or Mormon polygamous marriages have no point? Regarding the Bible, polygyny is rampant. It's hardly frowned upon.

 

[Cowboy]

Yes, polygamy should be legal, but my question is, "Why would anyone do this?"

I can't even get along with one girlfriend. I couldn't imagine having half a dozen wives. I'd spend my entire day being bitched at for leaving the toilet seat up.

 

[Pete]

I think you'd need a few husbands to balance things out

 

[Zero]

Legalizing it would only increase everyone's stress levels. I agree; do you realize how hard it is to get along with ONE?

 

[DarkEyedBeauty]

Originally posted by Pete
Marriage is about a legal commitment, hypothetically for life. The number two is abritrary. You do know that polygamy is not exactly an unknown practice?

Gee...thanks for telling me that there are polygamists out there...I wasn't sure on that one.

Originally posted by Pete
If it was me, then sex with an outisde person would certainly be looked down on. Even more so, because the unfaithful one is threatening the health of not just one spouse, but several.
I'm not sure what you mean by "the type of person...". Yes, there are people who lean toward promiscuity. That's going to be a problem regardless of the legality of polygamy.

But what if your claim was that you wanted to bring that person into the marriage? Would that be ok then? What if you found someone that moved you, someone that took your breath away, and were already married to three other people? I know this can happen in monogamous marriages, but that usually ends in affairs or divorces. Would you divorce your group, or would you bring them in? What if they didn't agree with it.

Originally posted by Pete
Mainstream Christianity doesn't have a monopoly on marriage! Marriage is a social institution just as much as a religious one. It's a legal contract between people that formalizes certain obligations between the parties concerned, with a primary goal of facilitating the upbringing of children.

Marriage is based on religion. Sure, now people do it in a non-religious way. But in order to wipe out all religion, you would need to boot the priest, the rings, the vows (of sorts), the church, the general ceremony.... Ok...now with marriages liscenses it is a legal contract. And if you do it justice of the peace style, sure. But what I'm saying is...why marriage at all? Why not just be committed in your own minds. That's all you need. Tell your friends, tell your family, have a party. But why make it known to the gov't? They don't care. Unless your out for a tax reduction.

Originally posted by Pete
Regarding religion, do you suggest that Islamic or Mormon polygamous marriages have no point? Regarding the Bible, polygyny is rampant. It's hardly frowned upon.

Of course I don't think any marriage doesn't have a point. Everything that anyone does has a point, an end.

Could you tell me what highly looked upon biblical man had more than one wife? I mean, I could be wrong, I admit that openly. I would just like to see it for myself.

 

[fadingCaptain]

I tihnk we should abolish marriage from a legal sense and let people do whatever they want. If they want to get married because of religion fine, but remove any governmental sanctioning. I guess legalizing polygamy would be a step in that direction. More freedom is good.

 

[Pete]

But what if your claim was that you wanted to bring that person into the marriage? Would that be ok then?

No, I wouldn't want to marry someone very promiscuous.

What if you found someone that moved you, someone that took your breath away, and were already married to three other people? I know this can happen in monogamous marriages, but that usually ends in affairs or divorces. Would you divorce your group, or would you bring them in? What if they didn't agree with it.

In the monogamy model, it is a central tenet that the situation you describe is inherently bad. You are not supposed to experience such attraction once married. Obviously, this is unrealistic - perfect soulmates are the stuff of fairytales and the extraordinarily lucky few.

There are limited responses to this situation in the monagamous model - clandestine affair, separation, or self denial. Acknowledgement that the situation even exists is frowned upon. If your spouse becomes aware of the situation, they will feel threatened and demeaned.

In the polygamous model, all the previous options remain, with the addition of marriage expansion. Acknowledgement of the situation is encouraged, current spouse/s will not feel as threatened, and will be more inclined to be supportive (that's what spouses are for). Naturally, marriage expansion is not something to be entered into lightly, and must be a unanimous decision.

marriage at all? Why not just be committed in your own minds. That's all you need. Tell your friends, tell your family, have a party. But why make it known to the gov't? They don't care. Unless your out for a tax reduction.

Because if I'm making a lifelong commitment to someone, I want legal backing if they decide to run out.

Could you tell me what highly looked upon biblical man had more than one wife? I mean, I could be wrong, I admit that openly. I would just like to see it for myself.

Try a keyword search on 'wives' at www.biblegateway.org.
I IN a couple of minutes I came up with Solomon, David, Jacob, many miscellaneous kings and minor parties, as well as several laws in Deuteronomy regarding multiple wives.

 

[Pete]

Legalizing it would only increase everyone's stress levels. I agree; do you realize how hard it is to get along with ONE?

You wouldn't have to have more than one spouse (or any at all!) Stress levels could be interesting, though. I think there would be stress reductions as well as increases. More research is called for!

 

[SwedishFish]

Originally posted by DarkEyedBeauty

Secondly...marriage is religious. Sure, coupling preceeds all current religions, but marriage is just a religious fixture. And the bible, the only religious book I know enough about to make claims, doesn't really look lightly upon polygamy. So, if you are religious...christian, you shouldn't do it.

Hah! are you for real? the bible is dominated by polygamy. there's not a major figure who doesn't have multiple wives and several unmarried mistresses on the side. solomon had enough wives and concubines to sleep with a different one every night for almost 3 years. he was married to 700 of them. mormons still adhere to god's command to build families by having multiple wives. they have the bible verses to prove it.

 

[DarkEyedBeauty]

Wait, wait, wait....

Pete is talking about POLYGAMY. He clearly stated two men and two women. The bible does not condone that.

What the bible is alright with is polygyny, not with polyandry.

 

[SwedishFish]

Polygamy - more than one spouse at a time

i misread the first post (actually i barely skimmed it ). this definition is true.

 

[DarkEyedBeauty]

Maybe you should read the thread before zipping in and assuming you've said anything of importance.

I have been saying now that polygamy is not condoned by the church. And it is not.

 

[SwedishFish]

um.....i just copied and pasted the correct definition of polygamy. what you said it is, is not. the side note in my last post was directed to someone else (pete?)who pointed out that i meant polygyny earlier on, not to you. polygamy is more than one spouse, not two men and two women. and "the church" does condone it. pick up a bible. the church of latter day saints commands it actually. god you're dumb.
i'd like to offer you up some advice: "Maybe you should read the thread before zipping in and assuming you've said anything of importance."

 

[Mrhero54]

Originally posted by DarkEyedBeauty
Maybe you should read the thread before zipping in and assuming you've said anything of importance.

I have been saying now that polygamy is not condoned by the church. And it is not.

What does it matter that it's not condoned by the church? neither is sex out of wedlock, abortion, homosexuality, worshipping fasle idols, laziness, or lying to name a few things. What the church thinks has nothing to do with the government. The only factor the gov't should consider is what the majority of the population thinks and if it's constitutional.

 

[okinrus]

Hah! are you for real? the bible is dominated by polygamy. there's not a major figure who doesn't have multiple wives and several unmarried mistresses on the side. solomon had enough wives and concubines to sleep with a different one every night for almost 3 years. he was married to 700 of them. mormons still adhere to god's command to build families by having multiple wives. they have the bible verses to prove it.

The wives of Solomon turned him away from God. Also I don't think he was married to them all. I think many of them were just female servents but the bible specifically says concubines. In other cases, such as Abraham and Jacob, the bible shows marital disputes and Jelousy. "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body." Also Luke 16:18 "Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultry".

 

[DarkEyedBeauty]

Originally posted by SwedishFish
um.....i just copied and pasted the correct definition of polygamy. what you said it is, is not. the side note in my last post was directed to someone else (pete?)who pointed out that i meant polygyny earlier on, not to you. polygamy is more than one spouse, not two men and two women.

Whispers as to not bring any negative attention to SwedishFish:

**Two men and two women, would equal, more than one spouse. He meant, that they would all be married. Aka: One of the men would be married to another man and two women...3=more than one.**