Should It Be Illegal?

[birch]

Hugh Hefner, the creator of Playboy magazine who is now worth $43 million, is 90 and has been married a few times to much younger women. I've never heard about any of them complaining.

Please those women were/are with him for money and fame.

 

[ajanta]

.
Should it be illegal for a 55 year old to marry a 20 year old?

.

I can come in....because the door is open for me.

 

[birch]

The typical scenario is a wealthy old man whose wife is dead (or perhaps divorced), who would like to have a new wife but not one of the few who are his age and just as set in their ways as he is.

Sure because god knows men shouldnt have to put up with women set in their ways, women should put up with that.

People who are 35 years apart in age can nonethelessfind each other attractive and fall in love.

Lmao. Sure it can happen for all the wrong reasons and definitely not for compatibility.

My ex was ten years older and even that generation gap posed problems in cultural reference points, taste and interest. Only a few years age difference is usually more on a legitimate wavelength.

 

[exchemist]

No it shouldnt be illegal but it will almost always be the older male thats 55 and the female 20. 99 to 100 percent. Why? Because we have a warped unbalanced society where men not only had their time with their own age group of women but also want to take another generations which frankly is selfish, disgusting and piggish to put it plainly and honestly.

I was recently talking to a 71 year old man who told me he always goes for women 40-50ish. If you are 70ish why the fuk are you better than a 70ish female? Aint so. Hmm, okay but notice the huge pink elephant and that is why the FUK do men think their ass is entitled to go for women not in their age group? This leaves women of their age group alone and out in the cold as many men seek younger women.

Society accepts this but its actually pretty atrocious and sad.
But people will do what they want to do.

But i have to laugh because naive people can pretend its love when they really dont have much in common when its just using either for money in the case of females or for an asswipe to hold onto their illusion of youth for the male which is pathetic.

And uh yeah, a 55 year old with a 20 year old is pretty disgusting but heck society accepts lots of disgusting shit because will cater to their base urges.

I find you rather narrow-minded and censorious, I must say. It's nothing about entitlement: the women in question can easily walk away, after all.

If one stands back and looks at biology (not a bad start on a science forum, perhaps?) men remain fertile until quite late, whereas women exhaust their supply of eggs at the menopause, which comes in around 50. So biologically there seems to be a basis for such liaisons. And if the man is a real top dog, with power , riches and influence, some women (I gather - I am not one of these men) find all that a bit of a turn-on.

Mind you, speaking as a man in his early 60s I simply cannot imagine, personally, what the hell I would talk about, to a woman in her 20s. I can happily talk to someone of that age for a while, socially, but every day over breakfast? Taste in music, film, literature, food and drink, the disparity in experience of life, the potential clash between the two sets of incomprehending friends that each would introduce to the other.....what a nightmare! And then, having to take little Buggins to play on the swings, when all you want to do is read the paper and have a cup of coffee......no, not for me.

A friend of mine married a woman 30 years older than him. They were very happy. Then she died and he remarried, to the girl I went out with at university, who had meanwhile become divorced. So it does happen the other way round too. But I agree it is rare.

 

[birch]

I find you rather narrow-minded and censorious, I must say. It's nothing about entitlement: the women in question can easily walk away, after all.

Haha please, what is wrong with people, im not censoring anything but people will get what they seek and just because you see two people together, it aint what it looks like. As in she may have a boyfriend using the old man for money etc. If people are deluded enough to believe that younger women are attracted to older men, then you should also believe a younger man wants older women. 'Attracted' is code for 'money and security' not genuine attraction or being in love. I have never in my life come upon a female gushing any passion about a significantly older male she may have been dealing with. And as for the men, they are very shallow type that go for much younger women. The women are usually just users.

And most men past their prime are not interested in starting another family so cut the crap about women and menopause. And most younger women do not want to have a family with a much older man though she may want to keep him in her life in some fashion for security/money. They just like the idea of a younger woman period even if he cant keep up with her or they dont have much in common. Its like a toy, accessory, novelty or object. Alright?

 

[Ophiolite]

Mind you, speaking as a man in his early 60s I simply cannot imagine, personally, what the hell I would talk about, to a woman in her 20s.

I think the idea is that you don't spend a lot of time talking.

 

[exchemist]

I think the idea is that you don't spend a lot of time talking.

Yerrs. But I can't see how you even get to know someone well enough to contemplate a game of hide-the-sausage, without a fair bit of talking.

Haha please, what is wrong with people, im not censoring anything but people will get what they seek and just because you see two people together, it aint what it looks like. As in she may have a boyfriend using the old man for money etc. If people are deluded enough to believe that younger women are attracted to older men, then you should also believe a younger man wants older women. 'Attracted' is code for 'money and security' not genuine attraction or being in love. I have never in my life come upon a female gushing any passion about a significantly older male she may have been dealing with. And as for the men, they are very shallow type that go for much younger women. The women are usually just users.

And most men past their prime are not interested in starting another family so cut the crap about women and menopause. And most younger women do not want to have a family with a much older man though she may want to keep him in her life in some fashion for security/money. They just like the idea of a younger woman period even if he cant keep up with her or they dont have much in common. Its like a toy, accessory, novelty or object. Alright?

I think you are taking my remarks about biology at the wrong level. I'm simply saying that biologically it would not be surprising if liaisons between older men and younger women take place, as they can have reproductive value for the species. Socially, I quite agree it can be problematic, as my further comments were aimed at illustrating.

But I have known several instances where an older man has gone on to start a second family with a younger wife, having got divorced. Some men actually love kids, you know.

I am sure you are quite wrong to dismiss all such liaisons as loveless and driven by mercenary or unworthy motives on one or both sides. That, it seems to me, is where you are censorious and narrow-minded.

 

[sweetpea]

I think the idea is that you don't spend a lot of time talking.

Whatever can you mean...I think a 20 year old would be bored silly of doing jig-saws.

 

[birch]

Yerrs. But I can't see how you even get to know someone well enough to contemplate a game of hide-the-sausage, without a fair bit of talking.


I think you are taking my remarks about biology at the wrong level. I'm simply saying that biologically it would not be surprising if liaisons between older men and younger women take place, as they can have reproductive value for the species. Socially, I quite agree it can be problematic, as my further comments were aimed at illustrating.

But I have known several instances where an older man has gone on to start a second family with a younger wife, having got divorced. Some men actually love kids, you know.

I am sure you are quite wrong to dismiss all such liaisons as loveless and driven by mercenary or unworthy motives on one or both sides. That, it seems to me, is where you are censorious and narrow-minded.

No im not. My reasoning on this matter is sound taking into account majority and social issues. Just because there are exceptions doesnt make it more healthy or viable for society. As i stated, it leaves older women in their age group with less prospects for companionship or even disdain due to her age. How dare men when they are the same. Also, nature does not need them creating additional families as the earth is already overpopulated and there are plenty of people having had or having children. They had their time to have a family. I think its atrocious when men drop women once they get older. Ive seen this too many times and these women are left to feel unwanted and unattractive. Its just selfishness.

 

[exchemist]

No im not. My reasoning on this matter is sound taking into account majority and social issues. Just because there are exceptions doesnt make it more healthy or viable for society. As i stated, it leaves older women in their age group with less prospects for companionship or even disdain due to her age. How dare men when they are the same. Also, nature does not need them creating additional families as the earth is already overpopulated and there are plenty of people available within own age group to have children. Thet had their time to have a family. I think its atrocious when men drop women once they get older. Ive seen this too many times and these women are left to feel unwanted and unattractive. Its just selfishness.

Well I don't know what you suggest is done about all this. Seems to be just another "All Men Are Beasts" rant, to me. Anyway I've said my piece, so I'll probably just stop here, I think.

 

[birch]

Well I don't know what you suggest is done about all this. Seems to be just another "All Men Are Beasts" rant, to me. Anyway I've said my piece, so I'll probably just stop here, I think.

Truthfully, this social issue or dynamic is really no different than a 9 year old girl marrying a 35 year old or older man in a third world country. Why dont they just marry someone closer in age? Well, peering into that will unearth very selfish and unsavory motivations all with the excuse that one is a man and can sow a seed. Whupptdy do, as if thats justification enough. In developed countries its just sanitized to a legal age but if anyone thinks its actually not in the least bit sleazy, corrupt or inappropriate for big age difference is glossing over or ignoring it. Even as a female, i have never gone for anyone more than 3 years younger and some people just dont have a sense of decency or care about it.

 

[billvon]

Truthfully, this social issue or dynamic is really no different than a 9 year old girl marrying a 35 year old or older man in a third world country.

Pedophilia is actually quite different than a marriage between two consenting adults.

 

[birch]

Pedophilia is actually quite different than a marriage between two consenting adults.

Thats not what i meant as in legality. And consent doesnt mean genuine either.

I meant the dynamic of men preferring women even drastically younger.

 

[DaveC426913]

Has no one heard of the dating equation?

Half one's age, plus 7. Therein lies the age of someone you could date without it being creepy.

By that formula, a 55yo should date someone no younger than 32 and no older than 96.
And a 20yo should date someone no older than 26 and no younger than 17.

(It's just for fun. Should not really be applied as a criterion for a serious relationship.)

 

[DaveC426913]

I would be concerned for the 20yo. Voting-military-joining-adult notwithstanding, that is still very young. They have only been an adult for two years. Where I come from, you can't even drive a car on your own after only 2 years. (A point that plays to level of experience/responsibility required).


Frankly, I don't think most modern people mature until they are at least 25. But that is of course, highly subjective and society-dependent.

 

[DaveC426913]

...it leaves older women in their age group with less prospects for companionship or even disdain due to her age

This is not a valid reason for denying two people a relationship. There is no "share and share alike" rule in relationships.

How dare men when they are the same.

Not their problem.

Also, nature does not need them creating additional families as the earth is already overpopulated and there are plenty of people having had or having children. They had their time to have a family.

This is rhetoric. You're entitled to your opinion of course, but it's not applicable to the hypothetical relationship under discussion.

I think its atrocious when men drop women once they get older. Ive seen this too many times and these women are left to feel unwanted and unattractive. Its just selfishness.

No, it's a straw man.

 

[Ophiolite]

No im not. My reasoning on this matter is sound taking into account majority and social issues. .

You don't appear to have any reasoning, but more a sense of enraged personal affront. Unfortunately, for you, the emotional content of your posts demeans any sound argument that may be present.

Just because there are exceptions doesnt make it more healthy or viable for society.

You gave the very strong impression that there were no exceptions. Such absolute assertions are often associated with emotional and agenda driven arguments. Again, that just weakens your position.

As i stated, it leaves older women in their age group with less prospects for companionship or even disdain due to her age.

Arguably the main reason there are many older women who are alone is the disquieting habit of men to die several years earlier than their female counterparts. Do you wish to blame men for this selfish behaviour also?

How dare men when they are the same.

Do you actually believe that? If childbirth were an option for men I suspect you would find very few takers.

Also, nature does not need them creating additional families as the earth is already overpopulated and there are plenty of people having had or having children..

Nature does "need" this. Intelligent, thoughtful human decision does not. As your own posts demonstrate, intelligent, thoughtful human decision is not a given.

I think its atrocious when men drop women once they get older. Ive seen this too many times and these women are left to feel unwanted and unattractive. Its just selfishness.

So you are focusing on the selfishness of the man? What about the selfishness of the young woman who is complicit in this act?

 

[birch]

This is not a valid reason for denying two people a relationship. There is no "share and share alike" rule in relationships.


Not their problem.


This is rhetoric. You're entitled to your opinion of course, but it's not applicable to the hypothetical relationship under discussion.

No, it's a straw man.

Your post is a strawman. When did i say they should be denied a relationship?

I was analyzing that its ridiculous that men when older go for much younger women not preferring their own age group instead much younger women who are usually just using them for money.

You make it seem as though its some legitimate attraction which isnt usually the case. Exceptions are a foregone conclusion but the pervasive trend of men cant be denied.

Ive seen and experienced it so many times and its honestly very cruel and arrogant that they feel entitled to go after women so much younger and ignoring women that remind them of the reality of their age as if they are somehow just deserve it.

 

[Bells]

You are basing your opinion on what can only be presumed to be an "eww" factor based on age alone, without even considering that perhaps they are a happy couple who actually want to be together. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And if a couple of consenting adults want to get married, even with a big age gap, that's their business. Perhaps you should stop thinking about people's sex lives..

And most men past their prime are not interested in starting another family so cut the crap about women and menopause. And most younger women do not want to have a family with a much older man though she may want to keep him in her life in some fashion for security/money. They just like the idea of a younger woman period even if he cant keep up with her or they dont have much in common. Its like a toy, accessory, novelty or object. Alright?

What in the world? Do you now speak for "most younger women"? How do you know? You are not in their relationship and you do not know the reasons behind a desire to have or not to have children. They could be focused on their careers or rather just be alone for all you know. And I don't think I would consider someone in their 50's to be "past their prime". Your argument seems to be what teenagers may argue about people who are over 25.. As though they actually do believe that being 50 is the same as being elderly. Personally, I don't consider George Clooney, as one example, to be "past his prime".

 

[birch]

You don't appear to have any reasoning, but more a sense of enraged personal affront. Unfortunately, for you, the emotional content of your posts demeans any sound argument that may be present.

You gave the very strong impression that there were no exceptions. Such absolute assertions are often associated with emotional and agenda driven arguments. Again, that just weakens your position.

Arguably the main reason there are many older women who are alone is the disquieting habit of men to die several years earlier than their female counterparts. Do you wish to blame men for this selfish behaviour also?

Do you actually believe that? If childbirth were an option for men I suspect you would find very few takers.

Nature does "need" this. Intelligent, thoughtful human decision does not. As your own posts demonstrate, intelligent, thoughtful human decision is not a given.

So you are focusing on the selfishness of the man? What about the selfishness of the young woman who is complicit in this act?

Nature doesnt 'need' this as plenty have offspring. It doesnt need people to have multiple families.

And i already said that most of these women who get with much older men is usually for money/security. They just keep the men on a loose chain for money and favors.

And older women are not ignored by older men just because of widowhood. They are also ignored because it has been a patriarchal society where men felt entitled to have their cake and eat it too.