There are only 2 rational explanations for how God created the Universe.
Option #1.
Around 14 billion years ago God created the Universe - He did it using physical processes and set all of the physical laws and rules in place for it to work just fine without him.
He took a break for a few tens of billions of years and sat back and did nothing while he waited for life to emerge, and then evolve into us.
Once we arrived he then decided that the most important things to tell us about were who we should insert our penises into (or who should / shouldn't insert them into us) that we couln't eat pork, that we could eat pork, that we could eat beef, that we couldn't eat beef, that murder and genocide was ok, that murder and genocide wasn't ok and that we had to beleive in him (all those years by himself must have sent him a little funny)
He was less interested in whether we are good people or not - that's why Ghandi is burning in hell right now - poor sap beleived in the wrong god - In contrast Rush Limbaugh, Don Rumsfeld, Ted Haggard, and Georgew W Bush will be welcomed. despite being evil f**ks.
He spent a couple of thousand years doing miracles for a bunch of sheep herders in the desert, but stopped abruptly around 2000 years ago - never to be heard of in his miraculous ways since except for the occasional appearance in eggplants, cinnamon buns, and grilled cheese sandwiches.
Option 2.
Around 6 thousand years ago God created the entire universe in 6 days - however he created it to look much older - He created: a background radiation and universal expansion that made the universe look like it had expanded from a single point around 14 billions years ago. stars tens of thousands of light years away were created with light already reaching this planet with the wavelengths red-shifting in the exact manner that they would if in fact they had been travelling through spave for tens of thousands of years - radioactive isotopes were created already partially decayed so as to look as if they were millions or billions of years old. Life was created whole and complex, but with an inbuilt ability to evolve that can be observed in small timescles by human beings, and in a taxonomical heirarchy that by itself looked exactly like it was conclusive proof of common descent.
He then gave us a bunch of rules that were mostly to do with what we should and should not do with out genitalia - and cared little about whether we were moral or ethical just so long as we beleived he existed.
Then about 2 thousand years later he realised he'd f**ked up - so he got one family - made them build a really big boat - provided the boat builder with aquaruims, electric lighting, and sophisticated microscopy equipment so he could save all of the marine and aquatic animals, along with all of the microscopic animals - as well as a few of each species of land animals. Then he killed everything else out sidethe boat in a flood and left the boat floating around for a year.
During this year -using his purple wand and hairy sack of magic - and out of sight deep under the ocean - he broke apart all of the continents of the world, and laid down sedimentary rock formation that were made to look like they had formed over millions of years by micro-organisms - he striped the seabed with rocks of alternating strength magnetic fields to make it look like they had been laid down over millions of years through numerous polar shifts, and topped them with a layer of sediment that was very thin at the spreading centre and very thick at the edge -so again it looked like this was the result of a natural process that had taken aeons.
Just for good measure he buried in a sequence of simple to complex a whole bunch of animals that had never existed in the sediments he'd laid down and sprinkled a bunch of partially decayed radioactive isotopes in case any enquiring human found them and mistook them for something that had been alive during the past few thousand years.
when the boat finally landed, all of the marsupials and monotremes jumped onto the back of a giant kangaroo which them proceeded to hop all the way to australia from the middle east in a couiple of days - the big hop between south east asia and the austalian continent was sadly too much for the giant kangaroo and it died and became extinct through fatigue as soon as it arrived, but it died happy in the knowledge that allmmarsupials and monotremes now had a continent all to themselves and none of them had died on the way and left any evidence of the long journey thay had taken.
In short God covered his tracks and made it all look natural - his job was such a masterstoke that even 4000 years later all but a few really astute humans have been completely fooled by this evidence.
Now - somebody please help me - I can't figure out which of the two is more rational - the person with the best answer gets to convert me
Option #1.
Around 14 billion years ago God created the Universe - He did it using physical processes and set all of the physical laws and rules in place for it to work just fine without him.
He took a break for a few tens of billions of years and sat back and did nothing while he waited for life to emerge, and then evolve into us.
Once we arrived he then decided that the most important things to tell us about were who we should insert our penises into (or who should / shouldn't insert them into us) that we couln't eat pork, that we could eat pork, that we could eat beef, that we couldn't eat beef, that murder and genocide was ok, that murder and genocide wasn't ok and that we had to beleive in him (all those years by himself must have sent him a little funny)
He was less interested in whether we are good people or not - that's why Ghandi is burning in hell right now - poor sap beleived in the wrong god - In contrast Rush Limbaugh, Don Rumsfeld, Ted Haggard, and Georgew W Bush will be welcomed. despite being evil f**ks.
He spent a couple of thousand years doing miracles for a bunch of sheep herders in the desert, but stopped abruptly around 2000 years ago - never to be heard of in his miraculous ways since except for the occasional appearance in eggplants, cinnamon buns, and grilled cheese sandwiches.
Option 2.
Around 6 thousand years ago God created the entire universe in 6 days - however he created it to look much older - He created: a background radiation and universal expansion that made the universe look like it had expanded from a single point around 14 billions years ago. stars tens of thousands of light years away were created with light already reaching this planet with the wavelengths red-shifting in the exact manner that they would if in fact they had been travelling through spave for tens of thousands of years - radioactive isotopes were created already partially decayed so as to look as if they were millions or billions of years old. Life was created whole and complex, but with an inbuilt ability to evolve that can be observed in small timescles by human beings, and in a taxonomical heirarchy that by itself looked exactly like it was conclusive proof of common descent.
He then gave us a bunch of rules that were mostly to do with what we should and should not do with out genitalia - and cared little about whether we were moral or ethical just so long as we beleived he existed.
Then about 2 thousand years later he realised he'd f**ked up - so he got one family - made them build a really big boat - provided the boat builder with aquaruims, electric lighting, and sophisticated microscopy equipment so he could save all of the marine and aquatic animals, along with all of the microscopic animals - as well as a few of each species of land animals. Then he killed everything else out sidethe boat in a flood and left the boat floating around for a year.
During this year -using his purple wand and hairy sack of magic - and out of sight deep under the ocean - he broke apart all of the continents of the world, and laid down sedimentary rock formation that were made to look like they had formed over millions of years by micro-organisms - he striped the seabed with rocks of alternating strength magnetic fields to make it look like they had been laid down over millions of years through numerous polar shifts, and topped them with a layer of sediment that was very thin at the spreading centre and very thick at the edge -so again it looked like this was the result of a natural process that had taken aeons.
Just for good measure he buried in a sequence of simple to complex a whole bunch of animals that had never existed in the sediments he'd laid down and sprinkled a bunch of partially decayed radioactive isotopes in case any enquiring human found them and mistook them for something that had been alive during the past few thousand years.
when the boat finally landed, all of the marsupials and monotremes jumped onto the back of a giant kangaroo which them proceeded to hop all the way to australia from the middle east in a couiple of days - the big hop between south east asia and the austalian continent was sadly too much for the giant kangaroo and it died and became extinct through fatigue as soon as it arrived, but it died happy in the knowledge that allmmarsupials and monotremes now had a continent all to themselves and none of them had died on the way and left any evidence of the long journey thay had taken.
In short God covered his tracks and made it all look natural - his job was such a masterstoke that even 4000 years later all but a few really astute humans have been completely fooled by this evidence.
Now - somebody please help me - I can't figure out which of the two is more rational - the person with the best answer gets to convert me
