Quotes, Quotes, Quotes, (Just fun)
- Thread starter Tristan
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"Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me."
Mae West
http://members.aol.com/char2go/mwquotes.htm
Mae West
http://members.aol.com/char2go/mwquotes.htm
"i know half of you half as well as i would like, and i like half of you half as much as you deserve"
bilbo baggins FOTR
"open source, infinite amount of monkeys, infinite amount of time"
unknown
"never take like too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive"
george carlin
"give a man fire, he'll be warm for a day, put a man on fire he'll be warm for the rest of his life"
unknown
bilbo baggins FOTR
"open source, infinite amount of monkeys, infinite amount of time"
unknown
"never take like too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive"
george carlin
"give a man fire, he'll be warm for a day, put a man on fire he'll be warm for the rest of his life"
unknown
Counterbalance
Registered Senior Member
(A friend emailed these recently. Witticisms for both sexes. Authors unknown. Enjoy!)
Proverbs for a Happier Life:
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than going to a garage sale makes you a mechanic.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Aging is when broadness of the mind & narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a
mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
(...and my favorite
)
25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
~~~
Counterbalance
Proverbs for a Happier Life:
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than going to a garage sale makes you a mechanic.
4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Aging is when broadness of the mind & narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a
mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shall not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
(...and my favorite
)25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
~~~
Counterbalance
Risk! Risk anything!
Care no more for the opinion of others...
Do the hardest thing on earth for you.
Act for yourself. Face the truth.
Katherine Mansfield
I am only one; but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something.
I will not refuse to do the something I can do.
Helen Keller
First say to yourself what you would be;
and then do what you have to do.
Epictetus
We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.
May Sarton
....Grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.
Michelangelo
We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat.
Queen Victoria.
Care no more for the opinion of others...
Do the hardest thing on earth for you.
Act for yourself. Face the truth.
Katherine Mansfield
I am only one; but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something.
I will not refuse to do the something I can do.
Helen Keller
First say to yourself what you would be;
and then do what you have to do.
Epictetus
We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.
May Sarton
....Grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.
Michelangelo
We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat.
Queen Victoria.
COUNTERBALANCE
FIRKIN EXCELLENT QUOTES THEY MADE US LAUGH OUT LOUD IN WORK TODAY AND THERE'S BEEN TOO LITTLE OF THAT LATELY... RESPECT!!
One variation on a theme of one of them...
FOR EVERY ACTION THERE IS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE CRITICISM!
This place can be such fun!
FIRKIN EXCELLENT QUOTES THEY MADE US LAUGH OUT LOUD IN WORK TODAY AND THERE'S BEEN TOO LITTLE OF THAT LATELY... RESPECT!!
One variation on a theme of one of them...
FOR EVERY ACTION THERE IS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE CRITICISM!
This place can be such fun!
Bowser!!
Such a humerously out of context quote. Now I can reference it properly! Thanx.
It's all very large.
Bowser.
You will be assimilated. Resistance is Futile
Borg
Incidentally, resistance is futile was the answer given by an associate of mine several years ago when sitting his E&E engineering exam and asked to define resistance. Needless to say, he failed.
Such a humerously out of context quote. Now I can reference it properly!
Thanx.It's all very large.
Bowser.
You will be assimilated. Resistance is Futile
Borg
Incidentally, resistance is futile was the answer given by an associate of mine several years ago when sitting his E&E engineering exam and asked to define resistance. Needless to say, he failed.