seriously though...
Lostsoul,
Are your feelings of paranoia frequent and not triggered by anything you are aware of conciously? Have you ever done street drugs (hallucinogens) in the past? If so, then maybe there is one of your problems and you may need to seek medical help....don't know how much they'll be able to help you with that specifically but it beats sitting there and wondering about it....that doesn't solve anything.
A lot of us suffer from low self-esteem from time to time...especially when things are not going our way. But what concerns me is that you are experiencing both paranoia and self-esteem issues simultaneously. Have you considered going to a psychiatrist or heck, just your general doctor? You may have a chemical imbalance---I don't know....I've never really been paranoid but have suffered from severe depression...due to a neurotransmitter imbalance--it was something I couldn't help with therapy alone....in fact, I had nothing substancial to give me reason to be depressed. What I'm saying is that sometimes it's not a "it's just all in my head" thing.....sometimes it's a neurotransmitter imbalance....and there are certain drugs to treat things like depression, anxiety disorder, paranoia, etc.
The thing is to do something about it....if this isn't a transient thing with you (you've suffered from it for quite some time now and don't know why) then my advice is to get professional assistance. Don't be afraid (no pun intended)....they are there to help you and figure out what is wrong and how to treat it....and help you cope with it if it's a chemical thing. Wish you all the best. Take care Lostsoul....you'll find yourself soon.....just don't let others tell you who you are or what you should be, okay?
There's this great song in spanish, maybe you'll relate to it if you dig deeper than the thought of amnesia...I'll do my best (my translation sucks):
Day Zero:
I see what I think I see and can see no more
of what I could tell I can't remember at all
no reason to speak of it anymore
I believe to believe, I fear to fear that this is real
life has been clouded in totality
I'm lost
and I don't know how to look at what I left behind
on that long path
that once saw me walk
born was this blind wound
that erased today my yesterday
Strangers speak of who I used to be
they pretend to give me valor while knowing nothing
there's no need to even
cry about being here
my amnesia tells me absolutely nothing
except this feeling of anxiety
on that long path
that once saw me walk
I burned a biography
and blew away the ashes of my yesterday
don't try to show me who loved me
or whom I should love
Day zero has begun
and tomorrow will go on
(hope you like it and maybe think about trying to find an outlet once you've gotten that anxiety/paranoia under control---there's another song you might be more familiar with -- by Journey....it say's "be good to yourself when nobody else will"---follow its advice and you can't go wrong).