re: lostsoul
I think a good rule of thumb is to realize that nearly everyone suffers from self-esteem problems periodically. Everyone has that time to themselves where, if they allow it, they permit a little introspection and realize that they're not quite where they could be.
There was a time I was in Japan, knocking on doors for the religion I embraced at the time. <b>No one</b> was answering throughout the whole day. Not only that, but the outside temperature was at a cool 10 degrees Fahrenheit. God, even though I was with another guy at the time (as per the religion's instructions), it was one of the loneliest times I've ever experienced on the planet. The one consolation I could take was in the belief that somewhere, someone like me was enduring the exact same experience.
The trick is to look at others and realize that, most likely, they're experiencing the same kinds of feelings as well--just at other times in life. I think that kind of outlook helps to bring humanity closer, instead of pushing them away and distancing them with feelings of loneliness and lack of self-esteem.
I think another thing would be to work on yourself. If you feel you always get dumped on in relationships, then augment a part of your personality. Realize you deserve better and don't settle for anything else. Of course, this is easy to say from my vantage point.
There was also a time in Japan when another guy was having similar problems as I was at the time. I thought it would be a great time to commiserate and discover some things about him. I asked and eventually began giving advice. He finally looked at me and said, "Is that all you can do is give advice?"
So, if this advice goes in one ear and out the other, then screw it. Read some of the archives of
www.theonion.com and just lose yourself in laughter. That works the best for me.
thanks!
prag