It is immoral to marry for money?
- Thread starter Emil
- Start date
How could one person not know they are getting married? I guess if they were very young they might not know because they don't know how to find out. It wouldn't be fair to sell ones child just to make money for the parents, to me, unless it was a pre arranged marriage that was already discussed a long time before it happened, but still wouldn't be right to do to me.
How important is financial security offered by a partner when you want to start a family and how important is love?
Fraggle Rocker
Staff member
Note: we say parties when referring to people, not "parts."
Marriage for love is a relatively recent practice, one of the many types of progress that followed the Industrial Revolution. And it's still not universal. A friend of mine from India just went home and married a woman who was chosen by his family.
He's lived here long enough to feel the culture shock of that. I was able to reassure him be telling him about my manager on my last job. He and his wife had an arranged marriage in India--25 years ago. His eyes teared up as he recalled it. He said, "I am so grateful to my parents for their wisdom. We fell in love during the three days we were given to get to know each other and agree to the wedding. If I had a thousand years to search, I could not have found a more wonderful wife than the one my parents found for me."
In earlier times marriages were arranged to strengthen community bonds, to resolve feuds, to forge political alliances, or to join complementary resources. Many of those couples fell in love and lived happy lives together. And we must acknowledge the fact that many of today's couples who fall in love before they get married eventually fall out of love and get divorced. My first marriage was a disaster, but my second is still going strong after 33 years. Divorce was virtually unknown except among the wealthy in previous times. Not because everyone was in love, but because the community would not allow a man to walk away from the responsibilities of his family. He would have to literally run away and become a sailor or something like that. The community would still consider the marriage intact, and being no fool he would play along with the ruse and send money home occasionally.
I assume you're referring to the cliche of a person of ordinary means courting a rich person and pretending to be in love in order to marry him/her and become wealthy. You must think rich people are stupid and don't know what's going on. Stupid people don't stay rich very long, and this is one of the many ways they lose their money.
Besides, in any marriage between people from different economic strata, how can there not be at least a slight wistfulness for the comfort and security that comes with wealth? After all, anyone with an ounce of sense will stop and ponder what benefits and risks will accrue to them after marrying the person of their choice, and this can affect their decision. It isn't always money. What if the love of your life is famous and gets invited to great parties, or a drug addict who will be in rehab three months every year, or a talented backpacker who will take you on terrific vacations, or an arbitrator who goes into dangerous neighborhoods to resolve gang disputes? You can't help considering that before you make your decision.
Moreover, it's actually much less universal than it appears at first glance. I.e., it's pretty amazing what a high percentage of those "love marriages" just happen to occur between partners of comparable socioeconomic status and lifestyle expectations. The assumption that "finding your own spouse" means that you do so in a way that is blind to class, money, race, etc. and work purely on some kind of abstract romantic impulse is pretty screwy, when you stop to think about it.
Right - whether or not it's "immoral" to "marry for money," it's going to remain a fact that such is a big part of what almost everyone does, and always has been. Marriage is about family, and family requires money.
SilentLi89
Registered Senior Member
You must think rich people are stupid and don't know what's going on. Stupid people don't stay rich very long, and this is one of the many ways they lose their money.
I think you might assume too much. People rarely think all that rationally when they are in love, regardless of how smart they are, they see their partner through rose tinted glasses. If someone loves you, they make it pretty easy for you to stab them in the back.
I don't think marrying for money is immoral at all. That only thing I find unethical is marrying under false pretenses. But other than that people should be able to marry for whatever reason they want to be married. As long as all people involved know what is going on and why.
Corrections are welcome because my English is weak.
If parents and child are in disagreement about the marriage, who will have to be followed?
livingin360
Registered Senior Member
If the other doesn't know of course its immoral.
They probably are looking for love and the other person would be manipulating them. How is this even debatable?
As important as beauty or intelligence, a sense of humour, the ability to abstain from violence, etc. Most people marry someone they can live with and financial security is important - most conflict in marriages is due to financial issues after all.
"Divorce, an ugly word at best, but over half of us will go through it, at least once. What are the top reasons for divorce, and if you see them listed here, can it really help you? If you or a friends marriage is approaching divorce, or if it is all ready there, take a long hard look at these top reasons for divorce to see if you can pin point what the problem is, or what the problem was.
1) Infidelity – Yes, the big “I”. The number one top reason for divorce in America today. Can this reason be solved? Even I cannot answer that.
2) Poor Communication – Don’t take a spouse or marriage for granted. It needs constant work. Constant communication. Talk to each other, talk about things, anything, just talk."
And they are the first to divorce him as well and take his wealth with them!:itold:
IceLight020
Registered Senior Member
But the hottest hotties can also not end up with well-to-do, good-looking men.
It goes both ways.
But the hottest hotties can also not end up with well-to-do, good-looking men.
It goes both ways.
Show me where?!! The hotties always get by on their looks- you kidding me?
Hotties (male and female) always get a preference over "normal looking people".
The only time this does not apply is when Peggy Sue missed her bus to Nashville and now in stuck in Buttfuck, Tennessee.
You telling me there's no market for hotties??!
You are either smart of beautiful. You're never both; they're two different paths to take to achieve perfection in your trait.