How much gun control?

[Dr Lou Natic]

Sometimes I think that no one should have a gun except for James P gun(the inventor of the gun) and his family.
I mean, who the hell are you to have a gun? It gives weak losers power they shouldn't have, its not right. Heres a tip, if that guy over there could kick your ass, then he reserves the right to do so. Pansy

But at other times I think it would be really sweet to have a gun, I don't want that tough guy over there kicking my ass...

 

[Xev]

Xev claims that the founding fathers wanted the common man to be armed.

Uh, this doesn't follow from the quoted text.

Have you considered picking up some "Dick and Jane" books and "Hooked on Phonics" courses at your local library?

 

[Mystech]

Originally posted by Xev
Uh, this doesn't follow from the quoted text.

You're right, it isn't I cut and pasted the wrong line. Care to give me a quick snipit stating that the founding fathers intended the 2nd amendment was designed to give the indevidual citizen the right to bear arms, it'd make things easier on me that way. It's midnight, and I'm feeling lazy.

 

[CounslerCoffee]

I believe that I have the right to own a gun and use a gun in any way that I want. If I didn't have a gun then any lawn gnome or Mariah Carry look-alike could just barge in and take my TV. Damnit, I won't let that happen.

Gun laws are outdated though. Some guns are okay, automatic weapons are not okay, nukes are not okay, and anthrax samples injected into kittens that are flung at the US of A are not okay. We have to stop the French from killing kittens. Those bastards.

All in all guns provide a valuable lesson. Only idiots should use them. Most idiots die from gun related deaths. They usually shoot themselves while watching suckass reruns of Friends and pigging out on left over Chinese food that's been jacked into because they didn't tip the delivery man. Guns don't kill people, idiots kill themselves.

 

[Mystech]

Just a quick question, but when would the delivery man have time to jack off into a container of chinese food, if by the time he's paid (and not tipped) by the people he's delivering it to. The food would already be in the hands of it's owners. . . I don't know I'm just having a hard time placing all the events.

 

[Xev]

Mystech:

Care to give me a quick snipit stating that the founding fathers intended the 2nd amendment was designed to give the indevidual citizen the right to bear arms, it'd make things easier on me that way. It's midnight, and I'm feeling lazy.

But I never said that.

Coffee:

If I didn't have a gun then any lawn gnome or Mariah Carry look-alike could just barge in and take my TV. Damnit, I won't let that happen.

Exactly. I don't want to be gang-raped by lawn gnomes who steal tvs (especially if I got a Lifetime movie made about the incident...then I couldn't watch the movie). Thus I want a gun.

Most idiots die from gun related deaths. They usually shoot themselves while watching suckass reruns of Friends and pigging out on left over Chinese food that's been jacked into because they didn't tip the delivery man. Guns don't kill people, idiots kill themselves.

This is so true.

 

[CounslerCoffee]

Mystech,

You have no idea how far sperm can travel, do you?

Guns are a form of protection from the other people/lawn gnomes that have guns. If Mariah Carry, the annoying bitch that she is, breaks into my house, then Im going to pump round after round into her. And Im not talking about sperm being pumped. Im talking about bullets.

P.S. Some of those lifetime movies are hilarious. I was watching one about a woman that had burned her husband alive while he slept. I never laughed so hard in my entire life. Or wait, I think I was watching an episode of Barney.

*EDIT* Replaced the word "Nut" with "Sperm."

 

[James R]

Xev:

Not having guns would mean:

(1) The intruders who break into your house to rape you wouldn't have guns either.
(2) The intruders who break into your house couldn't take your gun away from you and use it to shoot you (a relatively common occurrence in these circumstances, apparently).
(3) Your kids wouldn't find your house gun and use it to shoot each other or themselves or you or somebody else.

The fact is: fewer guns means fewer deaths all round.

 

[Dr Lou Natic]

When people get guns, they want to shoot them.
Hell even I would, I'd probably get arrested for murder about 2 months after I got a gun I reckon.
Guns are too fun for the general moron public, it leads to people starving baby animals by killing their mother. Usually a mother that could rightfully kill or escape said moron.
James P Gun would have been responsible with his gun. We are not. He should never have shared.

 

[Xev]

Coffee:

P.S. Some of those lifetime movies are hilarious. I was watching one about a woman that had burned her husband alive while he slept. I never laughed so hard in my entire life. Or wait, I think I was watching an episode of Barney.

No, you're thinking of Lifetime, the best channel (besides Cartoons and Pat Robertson) to watch while stoned.

I saw this really funny one about domestic violence the other day.

James R:

(1) The intruders who break into your house to rape you wouldn't have guns either.

Except for the fact that guns would be readily available on the black market.

(2) The intruders who break into your house couldn't take your gun away from you and use it to shoot you (a relatively common occurrence in these circumstances, apparently).

Well no, since I'm not a dipshit blonde who doesn't know how to handle a gun.

(3) Your kids wouldn't find your house gun and use it to shoot each other or themselves or you or somebody else.

I don't have kids. I have a pet cat and some mold growing in a coffee cup, but I don't think I'm in danger from either.

Even if I had kids, I don't think I'd raise anti-social monsters who try to kill people, so the point is moot.

 

[CounslerCoffee]

(1) The intruders who break into your house to rape you wouldn't have guns either.

Or worse. They could have perfectly legal box cutters. Lawn Gnomes, if unable to get a gun, will use box cutters. Now, had Xev been able to use a gun against the Lawn Gnomes that had box cutters, then she might have survived. But unfortunately she got stabbed and cut to death, with box cutters.

2) The intruders who break into your house couldn't take your gun away from you and use it to shoot you (a relatively common occurrence in these circumstances, apparently).

Not if she shoots the little bastards. Lawn Gnomes may be hard to target, but I doubt that they could seriously get her gun away from her if she shot first.

(3) Your kids wouldn't find your house gun and use it to shoot each other or themselves or you or somebody else.

The kid is a moron and thus deserved to die. We all warned him about the dangers of guns, but he ignored it. It's Darwinism at it's finest.

The point is that if were going to outlaw something, then it needs to be Lawn Gnomes. There just to dangerous. Oh, and outlaw box cutters to.

*EDIT* Im for anything that gets rid of people.

 

[Xev]

Coffee:

Or worse. They could have perfectly legal box cutters. Lawn Gnomes, if unable to get a gun, will use box cutters. Now, had Xev been able to use a gun against the Lawn Gnomes that had box cutters, then she might have survived. But unfortunately she got stabbed and cut to death, with box cutters

I don't appreciate you mocking what was obviously a traumatic event for me.

*Ducks under the table with a wild look like that guy from "The Deer Hunter"*

 

[CounslerCoffee]

Sorry Xev. I didn't mean to bring back bad memories for you. Kinda reminds me of the time that I let all those smurfs rape you. Jesus that was funny.

No really. What this comes down to is control. Which weapon is more dangerous; a box cutter or a gun? Guess what? Neither. I've got a big freakin rock that Im going to bash your head in with. But guess what? Had you had a gun, then your head wouldn't be bashed in with a big freakin rock!

 

[Dr Lou Natic]

No one gets "rock happy", if someone bashes someones head in with a rock they must have really wanted to do it. People just shoot for fun. Shooting someone would be alot easier than bashing them to death with a rock. Again, if I had had a gun in my pocket my whole life a fair few more people would be dead right now.

 

[Xev]

Coffee:

Sorry Xev. I didn't mean to bring back bad memories for you. Kinda reminds me of the time that I let all those smurfs rape you. Jesus that was funny.

So was filming it and selling the tape to the Japanese porn market.

Ultimately, it comes down to this:

Guns don't kill people, Smurfs kill people.

No really. What this comes down to is control. Which weapon is more dangerous; a box cutter or a gun? Guess what? Neither. I've got a big freakin rock that Im going to bash your head in with. But guess what? Had you had a gun, then your head wouldn't be bashed in with a big freakin rock!

What if I had a sub-nuclear plasma destruct-o ray?

Huh, motherfucker!

Dr.Lou

. Shooting someone would be alot easier than bashing them to death with a rock.

But infinitely less satisfying.

Again, if I had had a gun in my pocket my whole life a fair few more people would be dead right now.

So that wasn't a pistol in your pocket, you were just happy to see her?

 

[CounslerCoffee]

Dr Lou,

Ya see I forgot that some people just pick up guns and start shooting. Hell, if there were no guns then people would just start picking up rocks and bashing. I forgot all about that. Thank you for reminding me.

And those lawn gnomes are still slashing away at Xev with box cutters. To bad she doesn't have a gun.

The Smurfs only kill because I raped Smurfette. I split that biatch in two!

 

[Dr Lou Natic]

No, you guys just won't admit that guns are cool. So cool in fact that people like me who are usually too lazy to carry out their homicidal urges would get amongst it.
See I like people dying but if you are one of those who are against it you can't be for guns. Clearly no where near as many murders would occur without them. Gang members would just beat each other up.
I don't like fat people killing fit animals with guns, its not right.
If there were only human beings on planet earth I would be SO SO SO for everyone having guns, even babies, they could use them as pacifiers.

 

[CounslerCoffee]

If we got rid of guns then random rock bashings and box cutting incidents would run rampent.

More stabbings occur in the US then anyone here is willing to admit. Okay, Im high on allergy medicene. What the hell do I know?

 

[shrubby pegasus]

guns being illegal does not force the conclusion that they will be readily available on the black market. if you look at japan, where guns are illegal, they are not readily available. there are very few gun related incidents in japan. anyways, those who have easy access to the "black market" are typically involved with organized crime. and organized crime generally does not lead to common peope being harmed.

 

[spuriousmonkey]

if guns don't kill people why aren't we allowed to have nuclear boms? They don't kill people either.