Without asking me what I do, what I have thought about or not, you assume and take for granted that I have not contemplated other people's ideas of self-confidence. And then, you severely criticize me for it and ascribe to me many negative personal traits.
On top of that, you nevertheless expect me to openly discuss myself with you, here in open forums. And when I refuse, you see this as further proof of my laziness and denial.
You are the one who offered:
wynn said:...after having perused many resources on self-help and how to build self-confidence etc. that I have become disillusioned with them, finding them shallow and lacking
I am discussing only what you proffered and have no expectations. Perhaps you do not realize how telling your own words can be. Perusal does not suggest any attempt at putting anything into practice, and you have yet to make any stab at correcting that inference.
All of this forms a rather consistent picture.