As an adult, my religious views began to evolve due to exposure to people from other cultures and my life experiences. I became disenchanted with Christianity after having been appointed the duties of conducting bible study at my church. I accepted the job with honor and took my duties very seriously so I began to read and re-read the bible wholeheartedly. The more I read the more issue I took with it. As a result I denounced my faith because I felt if I had to cherry pick it, I should just not claim any of it. And dropped the label so as to avoid hypocrisy. Through learning about world religions in a college course I decided to convert to Islam.
Long story short, that didn't work out so well for me either.
But I attended Church as a Christian. I attended the mosque as a Muslim. Even now I still have the entire prayer memorized in Arabic. I creep my husband out from time to time reciting parts of it lol.
See above. This was not the situation at all. I was one of them. Fully accepted and embraced. I was even asked to be the American liason at the local Islamic Information center immediately after 911. It was a center set up for nonMuslims to be able to come and learn about Islam without being proselytized to. They felt that being a convert who did so out of pure will and not due to marriage, that I would be the best to mediate between Angry Americans and Islam.
I don't mean this as a personal offense to you - IMO, you never actually belonged, never actually were a Christian or a Muslim.
Apparently, at the time you first joined those religions formally, you didn't know much what they were about (given the "surprises" later).
Again our differing perspectives come into play here. It has been my observation, that those who oppose religion complain that religion is dogmatic and forceful. And that those who uphold religion say otherwise. But any individual who adheres to a religion can be oblivious to their status. For a long time I convinced myself that I fully believed the tenets of my faith that were being taught to me. When in reality I was ashamed to admit to myself that I only accepted things that felt instinctively wrong, to me, because I didn't want to be rejected by God or those who claimed to follow him and know more about the religion than me.
Then you weren't really religious. You were an impostor.
Seriously. I'm interested in the topic of conversion and deconversion.
I've read stories of people who deconverted, and one thing many of them have in common is that at the time of joining (and often then for years to come), they didn't really know what they were getting themselves into, what they were agreeing to.
They were infatuated with a religion, just like one person may be infatuated with another person.
And just like some people marry on the grounds of infatuation, so some people formally join a religion out of infatuation with said religion.
And just like infatuation doesn't make for a good relationship between humans, infatuation doesn't make for a good relationship with a religion.
Such an approach to religion/spirituality is sometimes related to phenomena called "spiritual materialism," "religious/spiritual addiction" or "spiritual bypassing:" the person wants to be religious/spiritual, they want to belong, they want a fancy personal life philosophy - and they want it now, regardless of how much they know or are able to do or resources they have.
I know some books on the topic:
Toxic faith
Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, The: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church
Healing Spiritual Abuse and Religious Addiction
These are books by Christian authors, from a Christian perspective, and they are not against Christianity.
Denial is a weird coping mechanism. I know I am only one example. No two people are EXACTLY alike but I doubt I am really so unique that NO ONE else has deluded themselves. Victims of domestic abuse often cope with the abuse by deluding themselves that it is their own fault, that they somehow earned the abuse and that if they just improve, the abuse will stop.
That doesn't mean the same is going on for everyone within a religion.
The population within a religion is diverse, and we can observe some subgroups:
One percentage are those who are relatively consistent in their beliefs and practices, who are relatively happy and well-adjusted; their religion is related to their contentment.
On the other end is the percentage of the religious population who profess belief and membership, but who are relatively inconsistent in their beliefs and practices, who are unhappy, who complain a lot, who are prone to anxiety and anger; their religion is a chore for them.
Then there are those in the middle.
I agree that her mental activities, thought processes, put her into a position of potential exploitation. But it is a mental activity to accept religion. And I feel religion can help to create a mental environment that, if the holder of the religion is submissive by nature (I think i said weak minded before, this was a poor choice of words on my part), he/she could use the religion to justify not questioning religious authority.
Then such a person has not accepted the whole religion, and this incompleteness is the source or at least part of the problem.
If there exist happy and well-adjusted practitioners of a religion, this suggests that it is possible to practice a religion without detriment to self and others, and that the religion is not faulty.
In Christianity at least, the woman is supposed to submit to her own husband as the church is to submit to Christ. In Islam the wife is to always obey the husband or suffer the curses of the angels until she submits. He is also instructed to beat her if she is disobedient.
I am well familiar with these things.
If a person is not given to being submissive by nature. They would likely reject this religions immediately.
Not necessarily. A person who is not submissive by nature might focus on different aspects of the religion than a submissive one, and also possibly get a lot more out of the religion that way.
So you see, I am not blaming the religion. I am blaming the submissive nature of the one who holds the religion. And ones nature CAN change over time. Mine sure did.
And possibly the religions that you practiced had something to do with it.
I think I know which ones, but can you suggest a couple. I have been too busy over the past few years to study anything in regards to specific faiths. Ones that acknowledge ego would definitely pique my interests.
That's quite a bit of reading to do!
Some pointers:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ego_(spirituality)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ahamkara
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atman_(Hinduism)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dvaita
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Achintya_Bheda_Abheda
Well as long as we are ok with disagreeing with each other on things, and it seems we both agree that our perspectives are different and therefore our opinions as well, it would seem we can maintain a civilized and interesting discussion. However there is one concern, I think we have totally gotten away from what the OP was about. Perhaps we should move this to another thread? What do you think?
I guess start a new thread and have these posts moved there.