Gay Adoption
- Thread starter piffi
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Why, Deadwood, you gonna catch something? I am a straight man, 38, parent of six and foster parent. But because of the fact that I've had full-blown AIDS for almost 17 years now, I've had the enviable opportunity to spend alot more time around gay men and women than I ever would have had I not contracted this disease.
My best friends are gay, always will be (my wife's too). I hate to generalize, ever, but for the most part, gay men are the most sensitive, loving, caregivng, nurturing, understanding and compassionate human beings on our earth.
And when it comes to parenting a child in these turbulent times, an intellegent, professional gay couple would certainly have my seal of approval. They probably know more about hardship, discrimination, and true courage that most straight parents do.
Badfish
My best friends are gay, always will be (my wife's too). I hate to generalize, ever, but for the most part, gay men are the most sensitive, loving, caregivng, nurturing, understanding and compassionate human beings on our earth.
And when it comes to parenting a child in these turbulent times, an intellegent, professional gay couple would certainly have my seal of approval. They probably know more about hardship, discrimination, and true courage that most straight parents do.
Badfish
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You know, this is something that has been in the news but I just never gave it a lot of thought. Pity that I haven't. I guess the only thing about gays that would bother me would be the idea of being hit upon. Though in honesty, I have known a few self-proclaimed gays and they were never pushy.
I don't know that is the case with all because it has never been "my cup of tea". I am sorry for you Badfish, that you tote such a burden. It shouldn't be something that anyone should have to bear. My heart goes out to you.
I don't know that is the case with all because it has never been "my cup of tea". I am sorry for you Badfish, that you tote such a burden. It shouldn't be something that anyone should have to bear. My heart goes out to you.
Sounds strange, but what I, myself, perceived to be a burden for so many years, (the HIV) has changed my perspectives on life and love so profoundly, that I'm not sure I'd change it anymore. Thanks for your compassion, but I really have no complaints. One day at a time, and if I can help someone who's struggling, it was a good day, indeed.
badfish
I just don't like the thought of having gay parents. It kind of makes my stomach turn. Two guys having sex. Its just not natural for my tastes. But I've had a gay friend. Knew him before he was gay.
But aids played no part in my post, didn't even cross my mind.
Have you ever looked into a Cambodian cure for AIDS? There is a song in Cambodia with all of the fruits that you need to cure it. But if someone has AIDS I don't make the assumption that they are gay. One person that my friends dad knew(relative, friends son or something like that) had HIV. So my friends dad went over and cured him. But my friend won't give me the cure. He just says if you know the song then you know the cure.
But if you don't mind. What is it like having AIDS? Go into as little or more detail as you want if you don't mind of course?
I just don't like the thought of having gay parents. It kind of makes my stomach turn. Two guys having sex. Its just not natural for my tastes. But I've had a gay friend. Knew him before he was gay.
But aids played no part in my post, didn't even cross my mind.
Have you ever looked into a Cambodian cure for AIDS? There is a song in Cambodia with all of the fruits that you need to cure it. But if someone has AIDS I don't make the assumption that they are gay. One person that my friends dad knew(relative, friends son or something like that) had HIV. So my friends dad went over and cured him. But my friend won't give me the cure. He just says if you know the song then you know the cure.
But if you don't mind. What is it like having AIDS? Go into as little or more detail as you want if you don't mind of course?
Gay parents...
...and illnesses as mindopeners.
To start with, of course gay people should be able to adopt children. Their sexuality should not matter. Bringing up children has nothing with sexual preferences to do. My mother is a lesbian, but not during my childhood though. She found that out after her menopause...
Illness can be a great mindopener and a light to the soul. Because you realize more quickly than healthy people how preciuos life is.
...and illnesses as mindopeners.
To start with, of course gay people should be able to adopt children. Their sexuality should not matter. Bringing up children has nothing with sexual preferences to do. My mother is a lesbian, but not during my childhood though. She found that out after her menopause...
Illness can be a great mindopener and a light to the soul. Because you realize more quickly than healthy people how preciuos life is.
Deadwood,
Having had AIDS for so many years has had it's challenges, especially since I am not gay. I contracted the disease in a whorehouse somewhere in Thailand while stationed there as a U.S. Marine back in 1984-5. Very few even knew what AIDS was then, and I was a young, indestructable Marine who wasn't scared of anything. (foolish, I know).
But, needless to say, having the disease progress over the years has changed my life dramatically.
Physically, (and I'm not whining, I should have been dead a long time ago), I have lost most of the use of my right side from a complication called bilateral myalopathy, bowel and bladder control are tricky some days, mostly impotent, and my vision is failing from CMV infections. I must go into the hospital two or three times a year with pneumonia, which I have miraculously survived every time, but PCP will most likely be my downfall in the end. I've lost 80 pounds from the old days in the Corps and barely have the energy to walk around the house on a bad day. And I take about 60 pills a day plus pain medication (morphine) to keep myself functioning. The drugs are no cure, but they buy me time. Time for something better to come from the drug companies. All things considered, I'm doing pretty well. To have lived this long with AIDS, I'm just very thankful.
Emotionally, once you get over being pissed off that you got screwed in life (no pun intended), and you can stop feeling sorry for yourself while you wait to die, your perspectives all change, for the better, I think. I enjoy the time with my kids, my foster kids, so much more. I appreciate my marriage and my family more. It's made me realize that every day is a gift and don't waste it.
The non-profit organization Rita and I started has been the most rewarding "job" I've ever had, and there's no paycheck! We help families and children with AIDS here in south Florida. The need for our Foundation, The Red Ribbon Kids Foundation, became obvious to us when we realized that gay men had a huge variety of help and services avalable to them. Help with rent, free medical care, food pantries, support groups, etc. I'ts easier to have AIDS if you're gay. I don't say that in a bad way, good for them! But if you're a child or if you're working parents with a sick child, probably sick yourself as well, it can be a nightmare. But that's what we do, guide these terrified families through the process.
Off the subject, sorry. It has gotten me into the gay community more than you could imagine, and I must say that as a group and as individuals, gay men are some of the finest people I've ever known, and manyy of them would make better than average parents, despite their preferences in the bedroom.
Having had AIDS for so many years has had it's challenges, especially since I am not gay. I contracted the disease in a whorehouse somewhere in Thailand while stationed there as a U.S. Marine back in 1984-5. Very few even knew what AIDS was then, and I was a young, indestructable Marine who wasn't scared of anything. (foolish, I know).
But, needless to say, having the disease progress over the years has changed my life dramatically.
Physically, (and I'm not whining, I should have been dead a long time ago), I have lost most of the use of my right side from a complication called bilateral myalopathy, bowel and bladder control are tricky some days, mostly impotent, and my vision is failing from CMV infections. I must go into the hospital two or three times a year with pneumonia, which I have miraculously survived every time, but PCP will most likely be my downfall in the end. I've lost 80 pounds from the old days in the Corps and barely have the energy to walk around the house on a bad day. And I take about 60 pills a day plus pain medication (morphine) to keep myself functioning. The drugs are no cure, but they buy me time. Time for something better to come from the drug companies. All things considered, I'm doing pretty well. To have lived this long with AIDS, I'm just very thankful.
Emotionally, once you get over being pissed off that you got screwed in life (no pun intended), and you can stop feeling sorry for yourself while you wait to die, your perspectives all change, for the better, I think. I enjoy the time with my kids, my foster kids, so much more. I appreciate my marriage and my family more. It's made me realize that every day is a gift and don't waste it.
The non-profit organization Rita and I started has been the most rewarding "job" I've ever had, and there's no paycheck! We help families and children with AIDS here in south Florida. The need for our Foundation, The Red Ribbon Kids Foundation, became obvious to us when we realized that gay men had a huge variety of help and services avalable to them. Help with rent, free medical care, food pantries, support groups, etc. I'ts easier to have AIDS if you're gay. I don't say that in a bad way, good for them! But if you're a child or if you're working parents with a sick child, probably sick yourself as well, it can be a nightmare. But that's what we do, guide these terrified families through the process.
Off the subject, sorry. It has gotten me into the gay community more than you could imagine, and I must say that as a group and as individuals, gay men are some of the finest people I've ever known, and manyy of them would make better than average parents, despite their preferences in the bedroom.
Deadwood, that christain in you is raising its ugly head again
you wrote:
"I just don't like the thought of having gay parents. It kind of makes my stomach turn."
Hmmm indeed, perhaps it would be a healthier approach not to obsess about your parents sex life...most of us find that line of thought, less then comfortable.
"Two guys having sex."
Why is it that homophobic people always obsess about the act of sex...seems to me like the perversion is in the holier than thou's rather then the accused. Its so simple: if homosexual sex doesn't turn you on STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!! unless ofcourse you can't and if thats the case I suggest you do some soul searching and come out of the closet already.
"Its just not natural for my tastes. But I've had a gay friend. Knew him before he was gay. "
Well aren't you the well rounded person a gay friend and all!!! (sarcasm FULLY intended)
LOL, before he was gay...and how did your friend catch his "gayness"??? what a ridiculous way to think!!!!! not surprised though deadwood, at least your consistent with christianinty.
you wrote:
"I just don't like the thought of having gay parents. It kind of makes my stomach turn."
Hmmm indeed, perhaps it would be a healthier approach not to obsess about your parents sex life...most of us find that line of thought, less then comfortable.
"Two guys having sex."
Why is it that homophobic people always obsess about the act of sex...seems to me like the perversion is in the holier than thou's rather then the accused. Its so simple: if homosexual sex doesn't turn you on STOP THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!! unless ofcourse you can't and if thats the case I suggest you do some soul searching and come out of the closet already.
"Its just not natural for my tastes. But I've had a gay friend. Knew him before he was gay. "
Well aren't you the well rounded person a gay friend and all!!! (sarcasm FULLY intended)
LOL, before he was gay...and how did your friend catch his "gayness"??? what a ridiculous way to think!!!!! not surprised though deadwood, at least your consistent with christianinty.
I'm not homophobic. Just wouldn't like seeing to gay parents kissing and hugging each other in the morning and stuff. Just something I wouldn't like to have to be around and people should accept that just as I accept people who are gay.
But certainly, gay people are friendly, caring, gentle kind just like a lot of people are in this world. I don't like people who bash up people who are gay just because they are gay either.
I don't even know why I have to defend myself here? If you're gay you're gay and thats it basically. You're still human and what Rambler said in that last post is totally opposite of who I am and what I stand for.
I do think it is great what you are doing for people with HIV and their families. Keep it up badfish, keep it up mate you have my approval! though my approval probably means nothing, but you still have my approval for what you are doing. Perhaps in the long run, it is more satisfying than being in the Marine Corp?
Just give it up, Rambler, I don't need you on my back all of the time to tell me what I think. I am my own person with my own thoughts.
I apologise again badfish, for Ramblers behaviour and ask that you ignore him and whatever words he puts into my mouth.
Keep up the good work Badfish, keep up the good work!
But certainly, gay people are friendly, caring, gentle kind just like a lot of people are in this world. I don't like people who bash up people who are gay just because they are gay either.
I don't even know why I have to defend myself here? If you're gay you're gay and thats it basically. You're still human and what Rambler said in that last post is totally opposite of who I am and what I stand for.
I do think it is great what you are doing for people with HIV and their families. Keep it up badfish, keep it up mate you have my approval! though my approval probably means nothing, but you still have my approval for what you are doing. Perhaps in the long run, it is more satisfying than being in the Marine Corp?
Just give it up, Rambler, I don't need you on my back all of the time to tell me what I think. I am my own person with my own thoughts.
I apologise again badfish, for Ramblers behaviour and ask that you ignore him and whatever words he puts into my mouth.
Keep up the good work Badfish, keep up the good work!
Piffi--
Deadwood--
Bowser--
Badfish--
What can I possibly say? Please know you have my hopes, and all of our thanks for the work you continue to do to help others in their common trial.
thanx,
Tiassa
Not I, said the duck. Among Americans, bad parenting is so pandemic that it's the official method. To the other, I have reservations about adoption in general; having been raised white and beaten for the Asian half of my heritage, it kind of pisses me off that one could hold against me an ethnicity which is mine by birth but which is wholly irrelevant to my life. This, however, speaks to the nature of the society and culture in which I was actually raised. Perhaps among less judgemental people than west-coast, post-Christian WASPs adoption is actually a good idea. I would never restrict adoption to cultural homogony, but one thing I must laugh at is that my parents thought they were fostering my ethnicity by trying to sign me up for karate classes when I was 12. Anyone remember Diff'rent Strokes? Strangely, the issues presented in that show are more relevant to me than the qualification of someone's parenthood according to their sexual orientation.
Deadwood--
Fair enough. As long as we recognize that this is from your current perspective. I submit that you would feel differently had you grown up knowing your folks were gay. (And don't worry about apologizing for Rambler ... he's entitled to be sick and tired of hearing Christianity disapprove of homosexuality. I don't bother apologizing for Christianity, and that's a burden I wouldn't want. But in the end, your policy of ignoring him is the best thing if that's how you feel. A fair question, however, would be how you felt if one of your parents decided to tell you they were gay, but we can leave that for another debate on another day.)
Bowser--
I would assume that this is part of the reason you're not gay.
Badfish--
What can I possibly say? Please know you have my hopes, and all of our thanks for the work you continue to do to help others in their common trial.
thanx,
Tiassa
Hey Deadwood, sorry about the war I started, didn't mean to set you up for an attack. I'm sure you're not a true "homophobic", it's just such a sensitive issue, you really have to choose your words carefully these days. By the same token, don't be so hard on Rambler, he's got a good point. You're probably not nearly as predjudiced as you may have come off. And thanks for the encouragement!
Deadwood (LOL)
Is the above post a reply when your not making a reply???
First I can make my own apologies, so badfish please ignore Deadwoods comments, I make NO apologies for what I said.
Mind telling me where exactly I told you how to think??? You know this is a PUBLIC forum so if you don't want comments on your what you write DON'T write it...sheesh!!!! how hard is it to understand the obvious???
Is the above post a reply when your not making a reply???
First I can make my own apologies, so badfish please ignore Deadwoods comments, I make NO apologies for what I said.
Mind telling me where exactly I told you how to think??? You know this is a PUBLIC forum so if you don't want comments on your what you write DON'T write it...sheesh!!!! how hard is it to understand the obvious???