For men only, say no to sex?

[madanthonywayne]

It has been suggested that men should bear the burden for avoiding false accusations of rape by avoiding any situation in which such an accusation might arise. Specifically:

I propose that men should also hold that burden. If you are afraid of someone pressing false charges then avoid situations where those charges could be made. Don't have sex on the first date, don't hook up, always get affirmative consent, never pressure someone for sex, and always, ALWAYS make sure the person is capable of giving full consent (not drunk, not on impairing drugs, not mentally impaired, and old enough legally).

So, let's make it a poll. How many men out there are prepared to follow thru on all of these recomendations?

 

[pjdude1219]

not all of them but they are good guide lines and you should take them into accout.

 

[James R]

I think this poll is muddied by the "sex on the first date" and "hooking up" comments.

The rest, I have no problem with.

 

[redarmy11]

A little common sense before everything goes to shit?

Never, never have sex with someone who's too intoxicated to be fully aware of what they're doing unless you know them intimately and trust each other implicitly.

In all other situations you, being suitably mature, mentally stable and of sound judgement*, will know whether prevailing conditions favour the onset of sexual intercourse. You'll know this from a look, a smile, a kiss. From there, things will develop naturally. There shouldn't be any element of force or coercion unless, again, it's based on considerable mutual trust and implicit agreement (a tricky area, best avoided by some) . If, once intercourse has begun, or at any time during the build-up, your partner tells you to stop: stop. There may be a problem that you're unaware of - eg your partner is in pain, or objects to the fact that you're attempting to rape her.

And that just about covers it. It's simple, it really is.

*NB: if this doesn't apply to you: seek alternative pastimes.

 

[Oli]

There is (or was) a proposal to make it law in the UK that a woman can claim rape if she had "too much to drink" up to a week after sleeping with someone on the grounds that she didn't know what she doing.
If that actually became law (apart from the blatant hypocrisy of the situation*) how would that affect the average "Saturday night out"?

In no other circumstance is being drunk an excuse in the eyes of the law.

* hypocritical because
it would be enshrined in law that women (only) are incapable of judging their alchohol intake
it would not be a valid excuse for the guy


PS Not too sure about the "don't have sex on the first date" though... it's pretty much par for the course (at least where I live). If you haven't tried to get her into bed five minutes after meeting then you're regarded (by her!) as potentially gay...

 

[Tiassa]

First date thing is hard. The rest is easy. I think when she's sucking your c@ck and saying, "F@ck me, you bastard," that equals affirmative consent.

 

[Oli]

Yeah, that's normally the point I let it get to before I make a move. By then I'm reasonably certain she's serious about me .

 

[darksidZz]

I would never turn down sex, I am a virgin and nearing my death because of it aka madness

 

[Baron Max]

I would never turn down sex, I am a virgin and nearing my death because of it aka madness

No one has ever died for lack of sex. And no one has ever been driven mad by the lack of sex, either. So quit worryin' about it.

In centuries of old, sailors would go out on ships and be gone, without any women, for years. What makes you so special? Prisoners have been incarcerated for 50 years or more without sex, and none of them have died because of a lack of sex. What's the big deal?

Baron Max

 

[phonetic]

There is (or was) a proposal to make it law in the UK that a woman can claim rape if she had "too much to drink" up to a week after sleeping with someone on the grounds that she didn't know what she doing.
If that actually became law (apart from the blatant hypocrisy of the situation*) how would that affect the average "Saturday night out"?

I'd have to sue for mental damage after having sex with less than attractive women.

If that law is passed, I'm moving out of the UK. Not because I walk a fine line where rape's concerned, but because of the principle and possible implications in the future.

"I had too much to drink and didn't realise taking the car was ok."

"Oh, no problem. Shame about those kids you ploughed down though"

"Mmm, oh well. At least I didn't get raped!"

 

[Tyler]

Well, cutting out Dragon Ball Z and such things might help in the losing virginity department.

I've said no to sex on a number of occasions. At least once with a fairly hot girl when I was single (though I slept with her years later), a number of times while I was dating another girl, a few times with the girl I was dating (exhaustion, intoxication, breaking up soon... all good reasons sometimes), just last night with a quite unnattractive girl as well as a few other times for that reason...

Also, I've stopped trying to pick up a girl because she was too drunk. In general, a trashed girl is very unnattractive in action anyway, so it stops being interesting. I even, shamefully, led a girl to the point of getting naked before stopping sex once. I'm embarrassed to admitt it, but she was just much less hot once naked and as well I have a long-standing crush on a friend of hers who I couldn't get out of my head. I felt wrong fucking that girl when I wanted her friend, so I bailed. Probably the only time in my life that I'll be the one who's a tease.

The first date and hookup ones are bullshit. It's hardly a rule that girls don't want to have sex on the first date, but the rest of those make sense.

 

[darksidZz]

You are all liers or just mad, I am single and not ugly, I've never had a girl show the lowest sign of interest or wanting to fuck

I no longer believe this!

 

[TW Scott]

I would never turn down sex, I am a virgin and nearing my death because of it aka madness

Dude, one plane ticket to nevada, one cab ride to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch and as little as 100 dollars later you will no longer be a virgin and all legally.

 

[madanthonywayne]

I think this poll is muddied by the "sex on the first date" and "hooking up" comments.

The rest, I have no problem with.

So you didn't vote the way you really feel? Those were the conditions set by Dora, not me.

Just couldn't stand to be on the same side of an issue as me, eh?

Dude, one plane ticket to nevada, one cab ride to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch and as little as 100 dollars later you will no longer be a virgin and all legally.

That's what I've been saying. Piss or get off the pot, boy!

 

[James R]

So you didn't vote the way you really feel? Those were the conditions set by Dora, not me.

Just couldn't stand to be on the same side of an issue as me, eh?

Actually, I had a quick read of the opening post, then immediately voted on the poll. Only then did I reconsider.

If I had a second chance, I would not have voted.

 

[Exploradora]

The first two are more ways of preventing false allegations of rape, the last three could, under certain circumstances, fall under the definition of rape. Again, I was not the person who CREATED the poll, my statement was a response to people talking about false allegations of rape.

 

[pjdude1219]

there an easy way to deal with false rape claims if your going to have sex with a girl and think it might fall into a grey area were a false rape claim could be made don't have sex

 

[phonetic]

there an easy way to deal with false rape claims if your going to have sex with a girl and think it might fall into a grey area were a false rape claim could be made don't have sex

Here, have some of these -

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Don't worry about using them all up. There's plenty more

 

[Fraggle Rocker]

I propose that men should also hold that burden. If you are afraid of someone pressing false charges then avoid situations where those charges could be made. Don't have sex on the first date, don't hook up, always get affirmative consent, never pressure someone for sex, and always, ALWAYS make sure the person is capable of giving full consent (not drunk, not on impairing drugs, not mentally impaired, and old enough legally).

I voted yes in principle even though like others I disagree with a couple of the specific terms. Sex on the first date and "hooking up" are a matter of judgment. As for drunkenness, many people of both sexes get a little plastered to loosen up on purpose, once again you have to use judgment. Best if you're not also plastered of course.

I once refused sex with a girl just because she wouldn't let me use a condom. This was way before HIV but also before abortion was legal. I just didn't want her to get pregnant for several very good reasons.

I would never turn down sex, I am a virgin and nearing my death because of it aka madness.

Oh for the goddess's sake dude. Will you please take $504 out of your huge pile of unused money, spend the four bucks on condoms, and use the rest to hire yourself a really stunning, expert call girl who will spend some time with you and do a patient, professional job of initiating you into your sexuality? I don't generally recommend this to guys but at your age you need it. It will change your life.

Your life is run by inertia. You complain about how you have no future but you refuse to go to college. You complain about how dull things are but you still live with your parents. You complain about not being popular with the ladies but the first thing many of them notice about you is that you drive a frelling minivan. You complain about not getting any sex but you won't go out and do what 99.999 percent of guys throughout history have done under those circumstances.

You are all liers or just mad, I am single and not ugly, I've never had a girl show the lowest sign of interest or wanting to fuck.

You talk like you're twelve years old dude. You don't understand life or women. You simply have got to get away from your parents and enroll in a university while you're still barely young enough to assimilate into a normal lifestyle for a young man. If you wait until you're 30 you won't be able to pull it off.

Your life. Your choice. But you're not going to get any results by whining about it on the internet.

 

[mountainhare]

LOL, veterans on this board should all chip in, so that darky can afford a callgirl.