Flying Spaghetti Monsterism

T

Thomas

"God is a Dick"- Me
Registered Senior Member
All hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster, who created the world starting with a mountain, then trees, then a midget (or little person).Who's first followers were pirates,but pirates were'nt really bad guys, they would go around giving candy to children and stuff,it was christians that made them out to be bad guys so Pastafarianism would'nt be spread.Because of this Lack OF Pirates and pirate ships global warming has occured recently...The Flying Spaghetti monster has created us all a heaven for after we die and it has at least one beer volcano and one stripper factoryl! All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Thomas :rolleyes:
 
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KennyJC said:
You do realize this means there is now more evidence for the FSM than there is Christianity!
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This is true, and it's a far more understanding and open minded religion.
 
wsionynw said:
This is true, and it's a far more understanding and open minded religion.
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Plus I like the Eight I-Really-Rather-You-Didnt's:


1. I’d Rather You Didn’t Act Like A Sanctimonious, Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don’t Believe In Me, That’s Okay. Really, I’m Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn’t About Them So Don’t Change The Subject.


2. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/On, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don’t Require Sacrifices And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.


3. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey-Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We’re Talking About Fashion And I’m Sorry, But I gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia.


4. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F*** Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.


5. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B******.


6. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):


* Ending Poverty

* Curing Diseases

* Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable

I Might Be A Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator.


7. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Go Around Telling People I talk To You. You’re Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can’t You Take A Hint?


8. I’d Really Rather You Didn’t Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot Of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If The Other Person, IS Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly, It’s A piece Of Rubber. If I Didn’t Want It To Feel Good When You Did IT I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.




RAmen.
 
So, does the FSM consist of regular pasta or angel hair pasta? I think this is important. For some reason. I don't really know.
 
Consult... the texts! (The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster)... for personally, I do not know. If i were to guess by appearance, I would have to say regular pasta. The meatballs are extra-large though.
 
Provita said:
Consult... the texts! (The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster)... for personally, I do not know. If i were to guess by appearance, I would have to say regular pasta. The meatballs are extra-large though.
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I tend to agree. And those large meatballs can be interpreted in at least two ways...
 
superluminal said:
So, does the FSM consist of regular pasta or angel hair pasta? I think this is important. For some reason. I don't really know.
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*************
M*W: So, exactly what is "regular pasta?" I believe in the FSM, but I need to know, what is the "regular pasta?" There are so many versions of "pasta" that mean so many different thing. Is it ziti? Is it cannalone? Is it mannicotti? Is it angel hair? Is it elbow macaroni? What is it. I believe in the FSM, but I'm of the sect of elbow macaroni. All praise the ancient of days for elbow macaroni
 
The Pastafarian Church has become decadent and unrighteous. They have been hiding the Truth from you. After reading the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster myself, I have discovered a mistranslation in the texts that actually says that the ninjas came before the pirates, and that they have been chosen by His Noodley Appendage to lead the world into paradise.
 
Jaster Mereel said:
The Pastafarian Church has become decadent and unrighteous. They have been hiding the Truth from you. After reading the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster myself, I have discovered a mistranslation in the texts that actually says that the ninjas came before the pirates, and that they have been chosen by His Noodley Appendage to lead the world into paradise.
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Although I would call you a heretic and burn you... after looking over the Eight I-Really-Rather-You-Didnts... I say, whoever has been touch'ed by His Noodly Appendage is a fellow brother (or sister!) of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism! We are all his creations!

And concerning what it "regular pasta" ... I do not know its acctual name, but my definition of "regular pasta" is the usual noodles used w/ spaghetti and meatballs (unless thats angel-hair noodles...)
 
Provita said:
Although I would call you a heretic and burn you... after looking over the Eight I-Really-Rather-You-Didnts... I say, whoever has been touch'ed by His Noodly Appendage is a fellow brother (or sister!) of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism! We are all his creations!

And concerning what it "regular pasta" ... I do not know its acctual name, but my definition of "regular pasta" is the usual noodles used w/ spaghetti and meatballs (unless thats angel-hair noodles...)
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You, too, have truly been touched by His Noodley Appendage my brother (or sister)! I hope that you, too, one day see the light and accept the ninja-first doctrine.
 
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