First ever IVF baby has grown into hideous adult

D

Dr Lou Natic

Unnecessary Surgeon
Registered Senior Member
Interesting...
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Reuters(Bristol) - On July 25, 1978, Louise Joy Brown, the world's first successful "test-tube" baby was born in Great Britain. Though the technology that made her conception possible was heralded as a triumph in medicine and science, many feared what the future may hold.

Little has been heard from the Brown's since the birth, but John and Leslie Brown, Louise's biological parents, have recently come forward to confess that their unnaturally concieved daughter is anything but a success story.
"Frankly, she wasn't what anyone would call a cute baby, or a pretty child", Mr Smith said in the press conference, "awkward teenager would be an understatement. We hoped that she was just an ugly duckling, but at 27 I think it's safe to say she'll only get worse before she gets better, and we figured the right thing to do was to let couple's who are considering in vitro fertilisation know the risks- their baby will most likely grow into an abomination like our louise".

When asked if it was only her physical appearance that was the problem, Leslie Brown, louise's mother was very quick to respond
"Yeah that's the weird thing, you would expect someone so offensive on the eyes to be sweet or generous or something, but there truely are no redeeming qualities in this girl, she's a bitch, a nasty stubborn bitch with no manners or social grace of any description. It's quite extraordinary."
"I find myself blown away on a daily basis by how beautifull normal people are in everyway, when compared to louise" John added "even the so called 'ugly' ones, heh, there's no comparison".
"Vagrants smell like roses to me" Leslie managed a smile for the first time in the conference, before visibly remembering her utter despair.

Though Louise was present at the press conference, she made only one comment- "what the fuck are you cunts lookin at?", before lifting her rather large thigh to audibly pass gas. Which by all accounts produced a particularly unpleasant odour of unusual strength and range...
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Link
 
the problem with the kid is most likely the parents; i.e. it was their genes that make up the child and it was their parenting that made her what she is now.
 
I remember at school it was a common insult to call someone a test tube baby. Nice artical, very funny.
 
I found this information on her as well.

"These days Louise is working as a postal worker in the Bristol area, an occupation lending itself to puns about "deliveries" - just as her previous job as a nursery nurse proved useful to writers and reporters.

She had, at last reports, a fiance and a place of her own.

Previous interviews have revealed a liking for swimming, the pub and even darts, and indeed, coupled with a general zest for life. "

I see the interest in swimming remained.
 
"Though Louise was present at the press conference, she made only one comment- "what the fuck are you cunts lookin at?""
that would probably be my response if my parents had just said that i was "a nasty stubborn bitch with no manners or social grace of any description."

also, do they know anything of scientific method. you can not judge anything based on one experience
 
I recall reading somewhere that dogs will go ballistic when she's around. Like, they will growl and get ferocious when she's around, or go and hide.
 
RoyLennigan said:
the problem with the kid is most likely the parents; i.e. it was their genes that make up the child and it was their parenting that made her what she is now.
Click to expand...
No. I left out this part;
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"It's likely every wad of semen will contain lousy sperm cells like the one which helped form louise", Dr Carl Whiteside explained, "it's just that usually they won't even make it to the cervix, let alone outcompete the other sperm cells in the race up the fallopian tube. What we're just starting to understand now is that some sperm aren't only 'not great', they're excessively terrible, so objectionable that normal sperm put alot of effort into swimming as far away from them as possible. We can speculate this is an evolutionary measure to get the good sperm streaming away in the right direction at high speed while the grotesque sperm cells loiter around in the vagina, bumping into eachother and expelling tiny nuggets of sperm poo- they're the only sperm which defecate by the way, and seemingly it's only to repulse the other sperm.
It was one of these charming fellows which fertilised the egg to make louise. So you can imagine how she turned out."
He went on to ask "have you seen her? Haha, what a trip huh? I postponed my appointment with her because I thought a rat with crotch rot had died in my office and I was trying to find it, turns out it was her stench emenating in from the waiting room. When I saw her I did one of those vomits you do into your mouth, the funny part was when I swallowed it it tasted sweet in comparison to the air I was tasting by just being in her presence. Man, what a fucking pig she is, I can understand why sperm want to get away from things like that".
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You did look at the URL of your link, didn't you?

www.newsteamplus.co.uk/ivf-baby-fat-and-ugly-and-you're-a-douche-if-you-believed-this-was-real.html
 
Ah. The dreaded 'rolleyes'.
I'm wounded to the quick.
Lou, you know damn well that you've just described the entire distaff line of your lovely little family.
 
your link
Click to expand...
You are aren't you?

Yeah I got a glimpse of it... while I was making it up!
Did you click on "my" link james? Or just look at it's url like the efficient detective you are?
hahahaha

If only you weren't so eager to bring me down, you could have avoided this embarrassment.
 
As was I you.
Your thread was obviously an 'ass penny'.
And not even a good one. It begged for responses just like the one I gave.
So I obliged.

Anyway.
Your use of the rolleyes was perfectly suited for the ambience you've decorated your lovely little thread with.
Next time you should use the max of three emoticons per post though. That would really give the proper air you're looking for.
 
No, she really is dog ugly.
That was my inspiration.

Speaking of inspiration, I was inspired to write a song for james;

"Thoroughly defeated"
(to the tune of "reunited")

Thoroughly defeated
I hope it's understood
thoroughly defeated
it sure feels real good

To see your shamed face
when ya realised
you made a mistake

You must experience bereavement
bein so
thoroughly defeated yeah yeah

thoroughly defeated
and it feels so goooood (aahhh)
thoroughly defeated
I hope it's understood

you tried to give me hell
But baby
you just fucked yourself

I know you must feel cheated
bein so
thoroughly defeated yeah yeah

thoroughly defeated
you must feel like shiiiiit
thoroughly defeated
I know I'd wanna quit

you were so fuckin smug
and then I pulled out the rug

we all witnessed you eat it
when you were
thoroughly defeated yeah fuck-yeah

thoroughly defeated
get it through ya skull
a close contest
would have been so dull

I hope that it's clear
mother fucker
I'm being humble here

I'll be back with screenshots
of you being
thoroughly defeated next yeeeeaaaaar
[/sung with beautifull voice, accompanied by orchestra]

OTT? :confused:
 
gendanken said:
James:
You closed my hoax thread, fucker.
Close his.
Click to expand...
Were you hit on the head with debris?

He'd love to, don't make it seem like a reasonable option. Stupid ass.
 
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