hey y'all, i got a real dilemma here. One of my good friends is lusting after this boy, who's 11. and he looks and acts it. She's serious too. She is 15. this is a moral issue.....Is it bad? Is it really paedophilia? Is it wrong? I've been feeling very confused about it, on one level, she's my friend, on another, she's a paedohile....or is she? Any insights would be greatly appreciated....
Does this count as paedophilia?
- Thread starter daydream_believer
- Start date
She's still just a kid herself, it's perfectly fine. Four years may seem like a long time to you now, and I suppose at that age the differences tend to be more exaggerated, but there's nothing terribly unusual about it. Oh, but they're both too young for any sexual activity, so it's wrong in that sense, but really only if she did anything about this desire 
damn kids, nothing but bags of raging hormones.
damn kids, nothing but bags of raging hormones.
Thats irregular to say the least. And I kind of want to be outraged because you just know a 15 year old boy with an 11 year old girl would be strongly looked down upon.
But then i put myself in the 11 year old boys shoes, I doubt he's going to be disturbed or harmed in anyway by such a thing. He'll just look back on it like "hell yeah".
My sisters friends used to do all sorts of suspect stuff to me when I was 8 and they were 13, when i look back I don't get upset or cut my wrists, I just get a hard on, so you know, its not that big of a deal.
The girl is still screwed up of course, like there is no reason to feel sorry for the 11 year old boy but it should still be noted that she's a perverted freak, just like a 15 year old boy that checks out 6th graders, its obviously not something she should be proud of.
But then i put myself in the 11 year old boys shoes, I doubt he's going to be disturbed or harmed in anyway by such a thing. He'll just look back on it like "hell yeah".
My sisters friends used to do all sorts of suspect stuff to me when I was 8 and they were 13, when i look back I don't get upset or cut my wrists, I just get a hard on, so you know, its not that big of a deal.
The girl is still screwed up of course, like there is no reason to feel sorry for the 11 year old boy but it should still be noted that she's a perverted freak, just like a 15 year old boy that checks out 6th graders, its obviously not something she should be proud of.
this reminds me of the show everwood. ephram is 16 and madison is 20. same age difference. but in that case the character ephram is underage while she is not. it still doesn't seem like a huge difference. a 15 year old and an 11 year old are both kids and not that far apart in age, so it couldn't be pedophilia. but their friends would give them a hard time until they're both older.
p.s. i love that show
p.s. i love that show
15 is an acceptable age for sexual activity in your opinion?one_raven said:
Not biologically but in your opinion?
"damn kids, nothing but bags of raging hormones." you can't blame kids for having excessive hormones, thats like blaming a baby for not being able to walk or talk.
15 is an ok age to have sex, and it wont warp you. At 11, you probably shouldnt be, so i think that going out is fine but going any further than kissing is wrong
15 is an ok age to have sex, and it wont warp you. At 11, you probably shouldnt be, so i think that going out is fine but going any further than kissing is wrong
daydream believer, your friend might want to check state laws to see if she could be
held criminally liable for statutory rape. In some states, she is beyond the age of
consent while the 11 year old boy is not. If the boy told his parents about the encounter, or they found out from someone else, the parents could have her charged
with statutory rape. A link to some state-by-state laws.
http://www.agi-usa.org/pubs/journals/2903097.html
held criminally liable for statutory rape. In some states, she is beyond the age of
consent while the 11 year old boy is not. If the boy told his parents about the encounter, or they found out from someone else, the parents could have her charged
with statutory rape. A link to some state-by-state laws.
http://www.agi-usa.org/pubs/journals/2903097.html
daydream believer never mentioned anything about sex.
verify: does she want to have sex with the boy?
if not, what's all this nonsense about statutory rape? i still don't think it is since she's still a kid herself.
verify: does she want to have sex with the boy?
if not, what's all this nonsense about statutory rape? i still don't think it is since she's still a kid herself.
Yeah, I agree...I don't think statuatory rape is in question but that does not make the thought of sexual activity involved in here any less disturbing.
15 isn't an ok age for sex, hell at 15 most aren't even ready for a relationship. It isn't pedophilia by any means IMO since both of them are not consenting adults.
If I stand corrected then their must be a significant amount of age difference between the two for one of them to be considered a pedophile lawfully and one must be underage.
15 isn't an ok age for sex, hell at 15 most aren't even ready for a relationship. It isn't pedophilia by any means IMO since both of them are not consenting adults.
If I stand corrected then their must be a significant amount of age difference between the two for one of them to be considered a pedophile lawfully and one must be underage.
I may have assumed too much when I understood the 15 year old may have been thinking of sex. But read the first post...One of my good friends is lusting after this
boy...she is serious,too...is it really pedophilia? It is not uncommon for some 15 year
olds to be sexually active in some countries today. I agree it is not a good idea, but
it does happen. I had read another of daydream believer's posts in which she was
praising sex as being a good thing, that it would bring peace to the world. I do not know her
age, but assumed it was close to her friends. The age of consent is 16 in most countries, but it varies. In Mexico it is 12, in Canada it is 14, it varies in the US from
14 to 18 according to the state in which you live. I did not know where the girl lived
at the time of the post, but now I assume it is Australia, in which case it is probably
16 and not a legal issue as far as statutory rape is concerned, but is a moral issue.
In some cases, such as in some states in the U.S., if there is a three year or more
difference in age between a consenting adult and an underage minor, the person of
legal age can be charged if the minor's parents press charges. As I said at the beginning of this post, I may have assumed too much when I thought the girl might
be contemplating a sexual encounter. According to some studies I have seen, about
20-24% of females aged 15 have had sex. I don't know how accurate the studies are.
boy...she is serious,too...is it really pedophilia? It is not uncommon for some 15 year
olds to be sexually active in some countries today. I agree it is not a good idea, but
it does happen. I had read another of daydream believer's posts in which she was
praising sex as being a good thing, that it would bring peace to the world. I do not know her
age, but assumed it was close to her friends. The age of consent is 16 in most countries, but it varies. In Mexico it is 12, in Canada it is 14, it varies in the US from
14 to 18 according to the state in which you live. I did not know where the girl lived
at the time of the post, but now I assume it is Australia, in which case it is probably
16 and not a legal issue as far as statutory rape is concerned, but is a moral issue.
In some cases, such as in some states in the U.S., if there is a three year or more
difference in age between a consenting adult and an underage minor, the person of
legal age can be charged if the minor's parents press charges. As I said at the beginning of this post, I may have assumed too much when I thought the girl might
be contemplating a sexual encounter. According to some studies I have seen, about
20-24% of females aged 15 have had sex. I don't know how accurate the studies are.
Ok firstly, 15 is the age most people are having sex at these days(harsh reality but true) legal or not is irrelevent, people are developing at a younger age than before and want to explore/express that, a few hundred years ago girls would be married at 15(or younger). Secondly most people I know were into relationships well before they were 15, my g/f got with me a couple months after her 15th and we are going great. Sex and relationships are about maturity, at 11 people dont have that, at 15 they do, its a case of waiting to see if in the future she gets sexual feelings for someone that young, then its creepy, otherwise, she's an average 15 year old being attracted to someone, regardless of age.
Okay, she wants sex from him, she wants everything from him. I do praise sex as a good thing and a great thing, but despite this, I'm a virgin. i say this coz I'm a pagan (wiccan) and sex is considered by this view point to be a really great thing, and I belive that it is. But underage, non-con or violent sex or hurtful in any way sex is bad. very, very bad. Bec (the girl in question) wants too much from this kid. Even if it isn't illegal coz they're not doing anything (yet), i'm still worried coz she is close to being a woman and he is a child. A little boy, he still plays "harry potter" with his friends for god's sake. It freaks me out.
Not like it matters but IMO a 15 year old and a 11 year old engaged in sexual activites is just wrong and unstable.
The parents need to be informed and step in and take action.
The parents need to be informed and step in and take action.
An eleven year old is a child, and has absolutely no business engaging in sexual relations. So to answer your question, yes, that's definitely pedophilia.
As for the 15 year old, that's a little young, but getting into that grey area where it's possible that a 15 year old could be emotionally prepared, but that still might not make it a good idea. I knew a few kids that started that young, and it's about 50/50 as to how they turned out.
As for the 15 year old, that's a little young, but getting into that grey area where it's possible that a 15 year old could be emotionally prepared, but that still might not make it a good idea. I knew a few kids that started that young, and it's about 50/50 as to how they turned out.
Bells
Staff member
Ok, call me a prude, but an 11 year old is still playing with toys. He's still a kid, a little kid. Way way too young to even consider a sexual relationship.
As for the 15 year old girl, can't she find boys her own age? What 15 year old girl (or boy for that matter) goes out with an 11 year old? Honestly, think back to when you were all 15, would you ever consider going out with an 11 year old? Maybe she's 10 mentally and can't get any better and desperation has led her to looking at little kids. And at 15, she too is too young to consider a sexual relationship, and yes I'm aware that they do happen and often, but it's still so young.
As for the 15 year old girl, can't she find boys her own age? What 15 year old girl (or boy for that matter) goes out with an 11 year old? Honestly, think back to when you were all 15, would you ever consider going out with an 11 year old? Maybe she's 10 mentally and can't get any better and desperation has led her to looking at little kids. And at 15, she too is too young to consider a sexual relationship, and yes I'm aware that they do happen and often, but it's still so young.
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I don't know the best course of action here, but I don't think informing the parents
is feasable. First, I don't think daydream believer is likely to tell what she knows because she may think of that as betraying a confidence between her and her friend.
It would also create a very uncomfortable situation for all parties involved. Although she is young, it may be best to let daydream believer try to convince her friend that
sexual exploration with an 11 year old is not a good idea. It could very well come back
to haunt her in a couple of years when she is more mature. Ask her if she would be
embaressed if the boy told his friends what happened and the word got around. Actions that could cause a lot of regret later are best left undone. daydream believer,
I am sure you could think of many reasons to tell your friend why she shouldn't actually
act out her sexual fantasies involving the boy. Your friend would be much more likely
to recieve permanent scars than the boy.
is feasable. First, I don't think daydream believer is likely to tell what she knows because she may think of that as betraying a confidence between her and her friend.
It would also create a very uncomfortable situation for all parties involved. Although she is young, it may be best to let daydream believer try to convince her friend that
sexual exploration with an 11 year old is not a good idea. It could very well come back
to haunt her in a couple of years when she is more mature. Ask her if she would be
embaressed if the boy told his friends what happened and the word got around. Actions that could cause a lot of regret later are best left undone. daydream believer,
I am sure you could think of many reasons to tell your friend why she shouldn't actually
act out her sexual fantasies involving the boy. Your friend would be much more likely
to recieve permanent scars than the boy.
Silverback
Registered Senior Member
That is good advice, 2inquisitive.