Personal growth can hardly be expected from a great many people, and "supposed to" is the same sort of moral obligation (command) you seem to decry from a god.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tough_love(emphasis added):
You can never successfully reason using ridicule, as it immediately divorces the person from their reasoning faculties and leaves you unable to engage.
It is possible to show, in many cases, that the literal interpretation is merely an illustration of the very similar underlying truth, or that, coupled with other literal points, describe a more general basis.
But ridicule does seem to be the favored expedient, even if it never accomplishes anything.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tough_love(emphasis added):
There is evidence to suggest that what the British call tough love can be beneficial in the development of preferred character trait in children up to five years old. However, the British definition used by these researchers is more similar to the concept of "authoritative" parenting, whereas American ideas about tough love are closer to the notion of "authoritarian" parenting, which has been linked with negative outcomes in other research.
You can never successfully reason using ridicule, as it immediately divorces the person from their reasoning faculties and leaves you unable to engage.
It is possible to show, in many cases, that the literal interpretation is merely an illustration of the very similar underlying truth, or that, coupled with other literal points, describe a more general basis.
But ridicule does seem to be the favored expedient, even if it never accomplishes anything.