Do you feel safe in your country?

[Nasor]

I live in a small US city of about 200k people and feel very safe. I lock the door when I leave the house and lock my car, but that's about it. On the other hand, in my wife's home town most people don't even bother locking their cars.

The biggest threat to me is municipal government.

I've had zero encounters with criminals, but several unpleasant encounters with the local police, who have stopped and harassed me for no reason. So far I'd say the police are a much bigger annoyance than any criminals. Of course, I guess it's possible that the police being overly-aggressive dicks is part of the reason why I've never had any problems with criminals.

 

[justwonderingjoe]

I am just curious as to how people feel about the places and areas they live in.

State where you are from and tell us how safe you feel about the area you live in.

Me: Southern California, I feel relatively safe because I know which areas are okay and which are not. Crime rate is considered relatively high in the USA but I don't see much of it myself.

It seems to me like its very concentrated in certain areas, and relatively safe in others.

Doesn't mean I don't lock my door though.

I live in CA, town about 50,000. I feel safe generally speaking.
But even though I live in the neighborhood I grew up in and I know everyone here, I was raised to lock the house doors, even when we are all home and it's daylight.
Lock your car doors when driving.
My mom raised us to be a bit paranoid, so when I approach my car, (i have a suburban) I glance under it to make sure no one is under it. (I know, it's weird)
When I go into the gas station to pay, and I leave my teenager in the car, I lock the car doors.

Maybe the way people are raised has more to do with how safe you feel.

 

[CutsieMarie89]

Maybe the way people are raised has more to do with how safe you feel.

I think you're absolutely right. I think when your parent teach you to be wary of certain situations or places you might develop an uncomfortable feeling whenever placed in those situations even though you may have never had a bad experience with it. My friends used to (still do) yell at me or freak out whenever I tell them that I walked somewhere by myself, regardless of the time of day. But as a child my mother would walk by herself everywhere and sometimes she would bring me in a stroller, but I doubt a criminal would see a toddler in a stroller much protection. She never taught me to be afraid to walk alone, so I'm not. Even after I got shot I still wasn't, I am still paranoid about groups of arguing guys though. I'm slowly getting over that.

 

[Nasor]

My mom raised us to be a bit paranoid, so when I approach my car, (i have a suburban) I glance under it to make sure no one is under it. (I know, it's weird.

Just out of curiosity, what specifically are you envisioning might happen? I can't think of a reason why someone would want to hide under a car. There seem to be many, many reasons why if an attacker wanted to rob, kidnap, or murder you, it would be better (from their perspective) to simply loiter around the parking lot and approach you as you walked up to your car, rather than attempting to hide under your car and wait for you.

 

[CatherineW]

I don't understand how walking around my house at 2 in the morning has anything to do with feeling safe. I feel pretty confident that no one is in my house at 2 in the morning ready to attack me.

 

[John99]

ha ha...i think he means outside.

 

[CatherineW]

I thought as much

 

[justwonderingjoe]

I think you're absolutely right. I think when your parent teach you to be wary of certain situations or places you might develop an uncomfortable feeling whenever placed in those situations even though you may have never had a bad experience with it. My friends used to (still do) yell at me or freak out whenever I tell them that I walked somewhere by myself, regardless of the time of day. But as a child my mother would walk by herself everywhere and sometimes she would bring me in a stroller, but I doubt a criminal would see a toddler in a stroller much protection. She never taught me to be afraid to walk alone, so I'm not. Even after I got shot I still wasn't, I am still paranoid about groups of arguing guys though. I'm slowly getting over that.

It freaks me out that you were shot. What happened, where, what were the circumstances ? (If you want to talk about it, that is.)

 

[justwonderingjoe]

Just out of curiosity, what specifically are you envisioning might happen? I can't think of a reason why someone would want to hide under a car. There seem to be many, many reasons why if an attacker wanted to rob, kidnap, or murder you, it would be better (from their perspective) to simply loiter around the parking lot and approach you as you walked up to your car, rather than attempting to hide under your car and wait for you.

Good question, I remember being told by my mom, there was a story circulating about a woman who gt attacked when she went to her suv. the person was hiding under the car, at night. she came to the car and he grabbed her leg. Oh god, just visualizing it makes me squirm...
Either my mom makes this stuff up to scare me into being careful (i don't think she does) or she's being protective.
If your under the car, from a distance you CANNOT see them.

 

[CutsieMarie89]

It freaks me out that you were shot. What happened, where, what were the circumstances ? (If you want to talk about it, that is.)

I was in the lobby of an apartment building getting mail, some guys from the nearby projects had gotten to an argument over something and decided the best way to settle it would be kill the guys who disagreed with you. They had a shoot out I and the others in the lobby got caught in the cross fire. So whenever I hear people in a heated argument I get antsy.

 

[justwonderingjoe]

I was in the lobby of an apartment building getting mail, some guys from the nearby projects had gotten to an argument over something and decided the best way to settle it would be kill the guys who disagreed with you. They had a shoot out I and the others in the lobby got caught in the cross fire. So whenever I hear people in a heated argument I get antsy.

That is scary. This happens alot in a town about 15 miles from where I live. Alot of people (sometimes kids) get caught in crossfire. Recently there has been alot of shootings where one car will pull up beside another on the highway and fire.
Thank goodness you survived.

 

[Nasor]

If your under the car, from a distance you CANNOT see them.

Sure, but like I said, from an attacker's perspective it seems like an incredibly bad idea. He wouldn't have any way of knowing if other people were around who might witness his attack and/or interfere, or if you are going to be coming back to your car alone vs. with your marine karate instructor boyfriend. If he's just hanging around the parking lot, he can see who else is around and change his plans as needed. If he's under the car and you do come back with someone else or he thinks there might be other people around, his only options are to role out from under the car and try to run away or stay under it and hope you don't run him over when you pull out.

Not to mention the fact that he probably wouldn't have any idea when you were coming back, so he might end up hiding under there for hours and hours. And if he's spotted under someone's car by a passerby etc. it's automatically very suspicious, while simply loitering around the parking lot wouldn't raise any eyebrows.

Finally, the fact that you wouldn't be able to see him until you got close to the car does not really seem to be an advantage for an attacker. It's not like you're going to immediately run away if some random guy happens to be walking through the parking lot and his course takes him near you, is it? I assume if someone wanted to get close they could just walk up to you. Unless they were some sort of specific enemy who you would recognize and flee on sight or something.

 

[spaceChild]

I live in New Zealand.. doesn't get much safer than that.
unless you go rob a tinny house

 

[justwonderingjoe]

Sure, but like I said, from an attacker's perspective it seems like an incredibly bad idea. He wouldn't have any way of knowing if other people were around who might witness his attack and/or interfere, or if you are going to be coming back to your car alone vs. with your marine karate instructor boyfriend. If he's just hanging around the parking lot, he can see who else is around and change his plans as needed. If he's under the car and you do come back with someone else or he thinks there might be other people around, his only options are to role out from under the car and try to run away or stay under it and hope you don't run him over when you pull out.

Not to mention the fact that he probably wouldn't have any idea when you were coming back, so he might end up hiding under there for hours and hours. And if he's spotted under someone's car by a passerby etc. it's automatically very suspicious, while simply loitering around the parking lot wouldn't raise any eyebrows.

Finally, the fact that you wouldn't be able to see him until you got close to the car does not really seem to be an advantage for an attacker. It's not like you're going to immediately run away if some random guy happens to be walking through the parking lot and his course takes him near you, is it? I assume if someone wanted to get close they could just walk up to you. Unless they were some sort of specific enemy who you would recognize and flee on sight or something.

I appreciate you calming my fear about "looking under my car" you have great points. All I know is I can't get that visual out of my head. (the hand grabbing the leg, when opening the car door) Especially if I'm alone, in a near empty parking lot, in the evening.

Let's say the guy grabs your leg, you cant run away, can you? Your immobilized. Or, maybe you've fallen backwards. Then, he scoots out from under the car, and bam, he gets you into your own car and your kidnapped.

It seems effective to me, if I was an attacker. If it was a near empty lot, at night.

 

[Nasor]

Hehe. I just keep imagining some would-be attacker either laying under the car for hours saying "Gaaaa, where is she???" to himself while the intended victim is off enjoying dinner and a show, or being accidentally run over when it ends up being some scary looking guy who shows up to get into the SUV. But maybe I'm just a pessimist.

 

[justwonderingjoe]

Hehe. I just keep imagining some would-be attacker either laying under the car for hours saying "Gaaaa, where is she???" to himself while the intended victim is off enjoying dinner and a show, or being accidentally run over when it ends up being some scary looking guy who shows up to get into the SUV. But maybe I'm just a pessimist.

And I know I'm paranoid! But really, it's how I was raised. Heck, my mom would ask one of us kids to get the mail, at the end of the driveway, and lock the door until we came back. :shrug: It's how I grew up!

 

[Tiassa]

This and that

Of course, I guess it's possible that the police being overly-aggressive dicks is part of the reason why I've never had any problems with criminals.

A fine observation that is true to a certain extent. But having a long drug history and coming up drinking in strip clubs, I'm reasonably comfortable in certain dubious company. The counterpoint, I guess, is a myth: You know how in bad television shows, the "victim" is frequently prim and does something to offend the bad guy? That's pretty easy to get around. I remember being propositioned by a whore once after leaving a jazz club in Belltown, Seattle, and I remember trying to smile my way through the shock that came with the brazen circumstances. After all, even in a roomful of whores after hours, I don't recall ever being propositioned so directly. But I smiled and passed as politely as I could. Then the pimp reiterated the proposition, and I declined. And then he offered me a drug sale. I simply told him I had what I needed when I got home, and went on my way. I have very little sympathy for the prim and proper victims on television shows who just can't stand to pass on the opportunity to moralize.

It's the "respectable" criminals who are more troublesome. And where I live, that usually means methamphetamine and guns are involved. Best solution: stay the hell out of that market sector.

But police in Eugene, Oregon and Snohomish County, Washington, have not been enough to prevent my cheap-assed Toyotas from getting stolen. And that's pretty much the worst I've had to put up with, so I count myself lucky. (I will say that in the Oregon case, the police even bragged about how they found the car. Apparently, they saw some guy they had busted a couple times before for meth, decided to harass him for no real reason except that it was a slow night, and followed him back to my car. They decided to search him without probable cause, and only then did they realize he was driving a stolen car. And no, as far as I know, none of the charges against him originating from that incident stuck.)

To the other, I will take my hat off to the Snohomish County Sheriff's office. I've had four encounters with them, which equals one neutral assessment and three praiseworthy occasions, including the time they found me blind wasted and wandering through a road construction site, and chose to simply drive me home instead of tanking me until I sobered up.

• • •​

In college, I think I was 17 and was drinking Zima Orange. Know what? I can't look at a Zima Orange now, which is fortunate, because they're so out of style.

Zima is actually dead. Their parent folded up the label late last year or early this.

I remember drinking Zima once, though I'm sure I did on a couple of occasions. But the time I remember, it went very well with the cubensis we were riding. And, yeah, we stuffed orange slices in the necks.

That was the night I came to understand the phrase "Screaming Trees".

 

[takandjive]

Zima is actually dead. Their parent folded up the label late last year or early this.

I remember drinking Zima once, though I'm sure I did on a couple of occasions. But the time I remember, it went very well with the cubensis we were riding. And, yeah, we stuffed orange slices in the necks.

That was the night I came to understand the phrase "Screaming Trees".

Oh no. This is terrible news. Zima went through this strange revival when I was in college where it was Zima Orange and Zima Lemon Lime and Zima "Red." I don't think the red was actually based on a fruit so much just being "red." I mean, the taste was red, like if you were sucking on a toy block that'd been rolled in sugar and hospital disinfectant. I've had worse.

I love the Screaming Trees. And orange slices. I find that charming when someone takes the care to cut up oranges for malt liquor. The 1990s truly were a better time.

 

[chris4355]

Of course dragon chooses the last option.

 

[Tiassa]

This and that

Of course dragon chooses the last option.

And?

• • •​

Oh no. This is terrible news.

I found out from Dan Savage. Not sure what punch line goes there. Maybe this one: All for the better, since I'd prefer the lips on my cock weren't found on the sidewalk.

I don't know. Zima had something of a "gutter trash" reputation in my circles. Of all the brands we're losing these days (e.g., Saturn), I'm not mourning Zima.