Not a single day goes by without my thoughts wandering into the dark murky subject of dying. Well, in an everyday sense its less like thoughts and more like feeling; a feeling of ominous terror and complete vulnerability that swells churns, confuses. It's like clockwork, it usually doesn't get any further than awe mixed with nausea and emptiness. This is the same reaction my mind body has when thinking about a universe where nothing exists. Non-existence is unfathomable… This usually happens at nighttime, bedtime or in the morning, especially during or following an episode of sleep paralysis. Of course, contemplating infinities is an unequivocal mindfuck as well. Really, being conscious for an unbounded eternity is insane. It would drive a person insane. Then of course I can always remind myself that I don't have to think in these terms; especially because I believe God to be neither temporal nor spatial.
Several instances of sleep paralysis this morning in which I 'felt' hell (You have to have experienced SP numerous times to know what I mean by this). In SP a person still in a half dream state so their higher consciousness is not traumatized or disturbed by Sleep Paralysis but rather annoyed and fascinated at the same time. Which is why in a lucid dream this morning I was granted something in which I'd ambiguously requested for in recent days… A dream Sage!
I can only recollect two of the major question/answer conversations in my dream. The Sage wasn't present physically but in my head, we communicated telepathically.
[Keep in mind that in a dream state anything is believable even to a lucid being because they are seemingly not bound in anyway to the physical or literal nature of the waking state…]
<I>I ask him something about my numb senses. I'm near a set of rails wondering why the world isn't more realistic and vivid, (and he inserts a revelation into my cranium) I realize the world is perfectly pristine and real, it is I who need to be more receptive and vivid. The refining of my perceptions is just that. Perception is perception, it is a separate thing all together from the environment in a dreaming or waking state. Which in a way disagrees with general relativity by agreeing with it.</I>
<I>I ask him if I really wanted to…could I fly? He explains that if I really understood things I wouldn't need a body (which he never had since my first revelation). His point being flesh and blood deceive the mind into thinking in all the wrong terms. Or rather, we allow ourselves to be deceived</I>
These are quite literal and simple answers for a dream… Recently I'd re-expressed my interest in questioning dream characters about small and big things, and paying mind to the purpose and meaning of dreams. I believe this dream guide is a direct result of this request.
<I> I remember asking my dream sage why he would cause me a taste of hell (SP) just before bringing me these teasing revelations. I almost feel I shouldn't trust him but I do anyway. He is the dream itself.</I>
He didn't' give me the answer to this comment literally and I don't feel I should elaborate here…
In future dreams I plan to explore death more closely and figure out exactly why the point of death is death, and what it really means. This is all from an experiential level. I'm still unable to perturb away my reluctant belief that once my heart stops beating and my brain is deprived of oxygen that I will cease to exist in any self-aware state. I have my own opinions on the neurological/scientific demystifying summery of consciousness but this fact doesn't not justify filling in the discrepancies and variables with infinities. Lucid Dreaming is proving to be a unique and exciting means to explore these panoramic thoughts on an microcosmic scale. Though there is no guarantee I won't be told exactly what it is I want to hear.
(Tommorow I will transcribe the entire dream that inspired this thread and post it here)
Several instances of sleep paralysis this morning in which I 'felt' hell (You have to have experienced SP numerous times to know what I mean by this). In SP a person still in a half dream state so their higher consciousness is not traumatized or disturbed by Sleep Paralysis but rather annoyed and fascinated at the same time. Which is why in a lucid dream this morning I was granted something in which I'd ambiguously requested for in recent days… A dream Sage!
I can only recollect two of the major question/answer conversations in my dream. The Sage wasn't present physically but in my head, we communicated telepathically.
[Keep in mind that in a dream state anything is believable even to a lucid being because they are seemingly not bound in anyway to the physical or literal nature of the waking state…]
<I>I ask him something about my numb senses. I'm near a set of rails wondering why the world isn't more realistic and vivid, (and he inserts a revelation into my cranium) I realize the world is perfectly pristine and real, it is I who need to be more receptive and vivid. The refining of my perceptions is just that. Perception is perception, it is a separate thing all together from the environment in a dreaming or waking state. Which in a way disagrees with general relativity by agreeing with it.</I>
<I>I ask him if I really wanted to…could I fly? He explains that if I really understood things I wouldn't need a body (which he never had since my first revelation). His point being flesh and blood deceive the mind into thinking in all the wrong terms. Or rather, we allow ourselves to be deceived</I>
These are quite literal and simple answers for a dream… Recently I'd re-expressed my interest in questioning dream characters about small and big things, and paying mind to the purpose and meaning of dreams. I believe this dream guide is a direct result of this request.
<I> I remember asking my dream sage why he would cause me a taste of hell (SP) just before bringing me these teasing revelations. I almost feel I shouldn't trust him but I do anyway. He is the dream itself.</I>
He didn't' give me the answer to this comment literally and I don't feel I should elaborate here…
In future dreams I plan to explore death more closely and figure out exactly why the point of death is death, and what it really means. This is all from an experiential level. I'm still unable to perturb away my reluctant belief that once my heart stops beating and my brain is deprived of oxygen that I will cease to exist in any self-aware state. I have my own opinions on the neurological/scientific demystifying summery of consciousness but this fact doesn't not justify filling in the discrepancies and variables with infinities. Lucid Dreaming is proving to be a unique and exciting means to explore these panoramic thoughts on an microcosmic scale. Though there is no guarantee I won't be told exactly what it is I want to hear.
(Tommorow I will transcribe the entire dream that inspired this thread and post it here)