Yes, I think that is the pattern, at least often, with many people.
As far as the fallibility issue...
for me it is very similar to developing or regaining trust in other relationships.
If something goes wrong or something terrible is done by someone and they maintain a position of 'I have done nothing wrong' or 'I am perfect' it puts a damper on the relationship.
Also any pretending 'it REALLY has been OK' can also be a relationship breaker if it hasn't been OK.
I see, and I can relate. I think there are two main factors at work when it comes to relationships and everything that comes with them:
One, taking into account that an observed result might have several causes and that all causes might not be known. When things go wrong between people, or otherwise, this could be exclusively one person's fault, or both people's, or neither. But generally, people tend to think in terms of one cause - one effect; so when they see that something is wrong, they look for one possible cause - and no further. I think this one cause - one effect reasoning is a main source of the popularity of blaming (and not so much the desire to absolve oneself from responsibility). But once one considers the complexity of a situation, it becomes impossible to assign exclusive blame.
Two, having a set of clearcut relationship criteria in place even before one begins a relationship. Practically, this can be hard to live by, other than that we break up all of our old intimate social ties, go into seclusion to figure out a set of relationship criteria, and then begin anew, with new people.
It's important that one knows in advance what one is willing to settle for and what not. Otherwise, relationships are a lot of work and the constant compromising of one's standards or trying to figure them out on the go can be very very straining.
How these two factors relate to fallibility:
One, when considering what God might be like, we have to bear in mind that several causes might be at work that make us think about God one way or another. We need to investigate those causes - how much they actually have to do with God, how much they have to do with our particular perceptions of God, life, ourselves, other people, and even the food we eat or the place we live at.
Two, having a set of relationship criteria makes communication and interaction a lot easier for oneself (and the other person). It's when we are not in the clear about what we want from others and what we are willing to give that many relationship troubles begin. With a set of relationship criteria, we are able to accomodate for the other person's actual or perceived fallibility; we either break up with them, reformulate the relationship, or are ready to forgive them their faults. Without a set of criteria, we are left to wondering whether we should forgive them or not, whether we should break up with them or not etc.
I think similar applies, at least initially, to our relationship with God as well.