Vote Bob ... the Builder
Source: The Independent
Link: http://www.independent.co.uk/opinio...-america-vote-for-bob-the-builder-778589.html
Title: "Change. Hope. America. Vote for Bob the Builder...", by Mark Steel
Date: February 6, 2008
One of Britain's funnier voices on Senator Barack Obama, American politics, and voters:
Barack Obama, apparently, has been the symbol of hope. But that could be quite distressing, because his entire campaign has revolved around the slogan "Yes we can." I'm all for keeping political ideas simple, but he's reduced them to Bob the bloody Builder. Maybe he's planning to steal other catchphrases from children's TV characters, so his next campaign adverts will go "Barack Obama – flobalob lob obalob weed."
In truth Obama is even more vacuous than Bob, because he doesn't even say what it is we can, whereas Bob is unequivocal that it's the issue of whether we can fix it. But they're all as ridiculous. A typical John McCain speech went, "I promise I will always put America first – her ideals and her future, before any other consideration." Then his fans all cheered. Because that should trump the candidates who disagree, saying, "Well I won't. I'll put the interests of Austria first. I'm sick of America."
Obama now has a video, in which a variety of celebrities sing the words "vote, change and hope" It would be worth trying to confuse one of his canvassers by saying, "Oh no, I'd rather support someone who's against hope. It only brings trouble, hope does." But perhaps he'll get more ambitious and make whole speeches full of random words, telling the people of Montana, "Brothers and sisters, buttercup Barcelona laminated frog radish but not and never hedgehog."
(
Steel)
And I suppose I should warn our more sensitive or prudish readers. You can print the word "shit" in British media.
Sometimes it seems as mysterious to me that our neighbors abroad should be so mystified by our political process. Especially so astute and comedic observer as Mr. Steel.
We have to be
sold on everything. That's part of it. Our culture revolves around spending, around buying and selling. Part of what confuses American voters is that they're not actually putting down money on the vote itself. So they're not looking at it quite the same way as if they were, say, buying a hooker: "Yes, but just
how good, can you make me feel? And how will you do it?"
The candidates, for their part, are trying to sell us on ideas, so that we will vote for them. There is a reason American politics have such an irrational tone about them; just look at our advertising. I mean, I was sad to learn that the
gay Guinness ad got
yanked for controversy, but compare that degree of creativity to the
shite we get in the on our side of the Pond. Have you ever seen our
car commercials°?
Okay, one more for nostalgia:
Jason Alexander ("George Costanza", Seinfeld) for McDonald's, circa 1985.
Point being, American politics is a consumer game, and American consumers are accustomed to ... well, yeah.
Give us an honest politician and we'll run him° out of town.
Now add in the special interests. These people invest tremendous amounts of money in electing politicians, and expect a return on their investment. A contract here, a tax break there. Maybe a loosening of safety and labor laws. In Washington state, for instance, we are having trouble regulating payday loans; the Consumer Protection Committee chair, Rep. Steve Kirby (D-Tacoma), who received political contributions from the industry, is quashing bills°. Everything in our political process is about buying and selling.
I mean, for all the criticism American "capitalism" receives, both at home and, more directly in this instance, abroad, I would think this aspect of our politics would be clear. There is a
reason everything sounds like a sales pitch during election season. That's exactly what is happening. And in a culture accustomed to nickel-and-dime fine-print technicalities, the best thing for the politicians to do is stay just vague enough that, while it sounds good, they're not actually saying
anything.
Or maybe I'm reading him wrong. Maybe he's just playing to his audience, a bunch of bewildered Brits. Or, maybe, he doesn't actually give a damn, and is simply playing for laughs.
In fact, that
might be it.
____________________
Notes:
° car commercials — Okay, admittedly, that one's over twenty years old, but I actually watched that ad on KTZZ-22 when I was a kid. And, come on, look at how shady the politician is in the next spot. I remember that campaign, too. Oh, yeah, Cal was eventually kicked out of Washington.
° him — If the politician is female, we'll pause before we get out the torches and pitchforks in order to ask, "But is she hot?" Before you go thinking that suggests a solution, it simply won't work. Put a hot chick in office, and nobody will take her seriously. The whole point of electing her would be to brag about how hot she is. ("Your mayor is terrible!" Yeah, but she's hot!)
° quashing bills — Regarding Kirby, see Josh Feit, "Petitioning the Governor". The latest bill died in committee (Feit, "Oly Outrage Pt. 2"). See also, Niki Sullivan, "Payday loan limits not likely this session".
