Bring yourself to forgive?

[sowhatifit'sdark]

Luci, you need to let go of the anger. I don't think you need to forgive a damn thing to do so.

One thing that can make it easier to move on is to really express, out loud, with a lot of sound, all the feelings you have about the one who did whatever it was. This may be a lot of anger, but also fear, grief and even longing for whatever you wish they had been more like. A mixture of words, what you want to say to them and then just the emotions.

To just let go can be a kind of stoicism that just adds a suppression on top of the feelings.

 

[sowhatifit'sdark]

Cos was right. Forgiveness is vital to your own peace of mind. We have to let go of ALL the cr@p in our minds/thoughts. Otherwise it will be like weeds and take over the good thoughts.

Forgiveness is HUGE. It's mandatory for a happier life.

Saying "I forgive you" to someone, whether just in your mind or actually in person--is freeing.

It's best to forgive fast and frequently. Most people don't know you're mad at them. And most of the ones who do may not even care. So why mess up your peace/happiness/joy?

Not forgiving can ruin your health and life.

Joyce Meyer wrote a book called "The Power of Forgiveness". It's wonderful.

IN all seriousness Sandy, can you forgive illegal aliens, criminals, democrats, liberals, women who have had abortions, and so on?
And if your answer is yes, that you do forgive them, I need to let you know the way you talk about them makes it seem very different. In fact I can't see what difference it has made. Is forgiveness merely a thought passing through the mind or saying I forgive you. How does forgiving the people I listed above change the way you relate to them and think about them?

 

[greenberg]

I think it all comes down what one means by 'forgiveness'.

People have vastly different ideas about what constitutes 'forgiveness'.

 

[iceaura]

Generally, I've had an easier time forgiving than being forgiven, partly because being forgiven requires an acceptance (at least temporary) of weakness. One of the things forgiving gets you is a position ( at least temporary) of strengh.

 

[Orleander]

One thing that can make it easier to move on is to really express, out loud, with a lot of sound, all the feelings you have about the one who did whatever it was. This may be a lot of anger, but also fear, grief and even longing for whatever you wish they had been more like. A mixture of words, what you want to say to them and then just the emotions.

To just let go can be a kind of stoicism that just adds a suppression on top of the feelings.

I wrote a letter explaining exactly how I felt. All teh anger, all the tears, all teh resentment, everything.
Then I threw it away.