Beer is better than religion.
- Thread starter Dinosaur
- Start date
Neildo said:
Yes, I am born again, and I love Jesus more than anything in this whole world. And yes, He continues to change me for the better. He's helped me so much, I can't even begin to explain. He was with me in jail that night. As much as it sucked being there, He made me feel His love there with me at the same time, and helped me tremendously...not to be afraid or alone. I was astounded at the love and the favor that I felt and experienced while I was there, and afterward, with my sentence and my community service. It was supposed to be a punishment, but the people that I was working for were so nice, it turned out to be a blessing. God shows up everywhere...in the strangest of places. It's cool.
Cottontop3000 said:Aren't you in the U.S.? Maybe I'm thinking of something else, but I thought dealing was 25 years a pop. Maybe that's harder drugs. Ah, I bet you looked pretty cute. I spent a night in jail once, in Maine. That hard little bunk does suck. Plus they put me in with the most unstable fucker in the block. We almost fought. They switched my room, but I still slept with a sharp pencil in my fist all night, when I did sleep.
Yep. I agree.
Cause you were so cute?My imagination is getting the better of me. When I met my probation officer for the first time, I cussed her out and stormed out because she told me I couldn't do something that was part of my plea bargain with the DA. She was acting like a total bitch, so I did what I did, left, went straight to the DA, got it straightened out and a year later, me and my probation officer were pretty good friends. Lucky, lucky, I was.
Yea, I'm in Ohio. It must be much harder drugs that you're thinking of. Shit, they don't give you that kind of sentence for murdering someone do they?
I looked like hell, man. I'm not cute...really. Even on a good day. Anyway...
It was weird because I was scared as hell to be there. I got in after hours of harrassment in the dea's office, and then hours of torture in a holding cell...the rock hard bench, freezing cold temp, handcuffs...couldn't lay down. Then the lice shower...cold and dirty...I was appauled....that this was supposed to be some sanitation requirement, and they couldn't even clean the damn shower stall out? Anyway, it was weird because I didn't think I'd be able to sleep, but when I finally got to the rock hard bunk with one itchy blanket, I said a little prayer. It was something like, "God, just knock me the hell out, cause I really don't want to be aware of my surroundings right now if I don't have to be." That's the last thing I remember until the lights came on a 5 am...time to clean the toilets. I slept like a rock...for three hours. The other girls in there, that I was so afraid of at first, were so nice to me...told me how to clean the toilets just so, and gave me socks and cigarettes, and told me how the legal proceedings would go and what to expect. I never expected them to be nice to me. There was this one little girl in there in particular...the one that gave me the socks to wear. She was so beautiful...18 years old I think...hooked on crack....no family to help her...a crack addict for a boyfriend. She told me that she was praying for God to help her get out of her situation, and I knew that He would. Later that afternoon, I broke down in my bunk after having to talk to my mom through the plastic window...I was so ashamed of what I was doing to her...having to see her daughter like that and deal with this shit. Some of the girls saw me and one came over and gave me a hug and invited me to their church service later that night. I was out before then, but I swear, I never needed a hug and an invitation more in my life. I was so appreciative. To them, and mostly to God...for being there for me.
I don't believe in luck CT. Or coincedence. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that God is there for all of us, whether we know it or not.
Q
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Guest
Beer is religion for me, I like to drink it so much that I go to bar almost every day
- As Atheism cures tithing, you’ll get an instant 10% raise in take-home pay.
- You’re inoculated against Christian suicide cults like People’s Temple or Heaven’s Gate.
- Those "voices in your head" claiming to be God can now be cured with a pill.
- Hell becomes as phony as the boogie man.
- The celestial “Peeping Tom” who watched as you wiped your a** ceases to exist.
- You realize there are no ghosts or goblins- really!
- There are not, nor ever have been, any “evil spirits” hiding under your bed at night.
- Masturbation now cures more anxiety than causes.
- Premarital sex no longer causes “guilt hangovers” the next morning.
- You can be honest and really hate those you hate- no more pretend Christian “love”.
- You can now sleep in on Sunday mornings.
- If born gay, you no longer have to lie to yourself.
- Money & hope are not wasted on faith healers.
- Families are no longer divided over petty religious squabbles.
- You no longer have to stay married to people you’ve grown to hate.
- Women don’t have to become “brood mares for Jesus” pumping out those kids.
- If Catholic, you can now use condoms to prevent infection & death if your spouse has aids.
- Girls can now abort pregnancies caused by drunken fathers or football teams.
- If Catholic, you can now intelligently plan your family size via birth control.
- If Mormon, you can now drink tea, coffee, and coke.
- If Mormon, you can now give & receive oral sex, and trash the goofy magic underwear.
- If you were a Fundy, you can now drink a toast with friends at weddings.
- If you were a Fundy, you’re now allowed to dance and see movies.
- If you were a Liberal, you can now be honest about your Atheism.
- When you hit your thumb with a hammer, you can now swear like a sailor.
- As science advances, you don't have to “circle the wagons” to defend Biblical cosmology.
- If mugged, rather than turn the other cheek, you’re now allowed to fight back.
- You can lust as nature intended you to without apologies or self-induced guilt.
- You can now be rightfully proud of your accomplishments- no more false humility.
- If you were a Fundy woman, you can use makeup & clothing to look stylish & sexy.
- You’ll never miss another NFL game due to long winded preachers.
- If you’re a Catholic priest, you can now have sex with people other than choir boys.
- If you’re a “nun” you can now get “some”.
- You’re inoculated against Christian suicide cults like People’s Temple or Heaven’s Gate.
- Those "voices in your head" claiming to be God can now be cured with a pill.
- Hell becomes as phony as the boogie man.
- The celestial “Peeping Tom” who watched as you wiped your a** ceases to exist.
- You realize there are no ghosts or goblins- really!
- There are not, nor ever have been, any “evil spirits” hiding under your bed at night.
- Masturbation now cures more anxiety than causes.
- Premarital sex no longer causes “guilt hangovers” the next morning.
- You can be honest and really hate those you hate- no more pretend Christian “love”.
- You can now sleep in on Sunday mornings.
- If born gay, you no longer have to lie to yourself.
- Money & hope are not wasted on faith healers.
- Families are no longer divided over petty religious squabbles.
- You no longer have to stay married to people you’ve grown to hate.
- Women don’t have to become “brood mares for Jesus” pumping out those kids.
- If Catholic, you can now use condoms to prevent infection & death if your spouse has aids.
- Girls can now abort pregnancies caused by drunken fathers or football teams.
- If Catholic, you can now intelligently plan your family size via birth control.
- If Mormon, you can now drink tea, coffee, and coke.
- If Mormon, you can now give & receive oral sex, and trash the goofy magic underwear.
- If you were a Fundy, you can now drink a toast with friends at weddings.
- If you were a Fundy, you’re now allowed to dance and see movies.
- If you were a Liberal, you can now be honest about your Atheism.
- When you hit your thumb with a hammer, you can now swear like a sailor.
- As science advances, you don't have to “circle the wagons” to defend Biblical cosmology.
- If mugged, rather than turn the other cheek, you’re now allowed to fight back.
- You can lust as nature intended you to without apologies or self-induced guilt.
- You can now be rightfully proud of your accomplishments- no more false humility.
- If you were a Fundy woman, you can use makeup & clothing to look stylish & sexy.
- You’ll never miss another NFL game due to long winded preachers.
- If you’re a Catholic priest, you can now have sex with people other than choir boys.
- If you’re a “nun” you can now get “some”.
I know you believe Lori. I remember talking to you about it when I first got to this site. I don't however believe in God, or Jesus. In fact, my feelings are mixed on whether I think religion has any redeeming qualities whatsoever. I wish I could convert you back to atheism, but probably not, so I won't try.Lori_7 said:
I recognize all the feelings you had that night in jail, too. I had them too. Like you, I never want to go back, but it was surprising too. How normal most of the people were. A little off, like me, but pretty decent humans. Anyway, beer KILLS.
Wait a minute. How do you know about the boner thing?
Hey, does it affect women somehow in a similar fashion, just with respect to the old O?
OK, let's say a woman has been drinking and the guy hasn't. That's what I meant to convey. Does the alcohol affect the woman's ability to have the O? Please don't tell me this is another trade secret.
Oh, I was talking about the opposite scenario...tee hee. And I would say that yea, it probably has the same effect as far as I can tell. I mean, it dulls and numbs the senses regardless of what gender, so...I would contend that sex and beer don't mix. Cause life's too short to have cheap sex. So since I'm not havin' any, I think I'll have a Warsteiner.
Thanks, Lori. I wonder why I never asked that before, even of my ex.