Beer is better than religion.

D

Dinosaur

Rational Skeptic
Valued Senior Member
BTW: I do not drink beer (I prefer wine).

Top 12 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Religion

1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

2. You can prove you have a Beer.

3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.

4. You don't have to wait over 2000 years for a second Beer.

5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over their brand of Beer.

6. When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.

7. They don't force Beer on minors that can't think for themselves.

8. Beer has never caused a major war.

9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.

11. You do not have to wake up early Sunday morning to enjoy beer. You can sleep in and still enjoy it.

12. You are not required to drink beer 5 times a day, but you can if you want to.
 
I wouldn't be so sure about number eight.

Same with five. People die because of less. Never ask for a hotdog with ketchup in Chicago, for example.
 
Thank God for the Samuel Adams winter classics sampler. Cranberry Lambic almost makes this weather tolerable.

I can hear it now...

"I sincerely hope that one day Lori will stop glorifying drugs."

Love you pookey.
 
God. I mean, Lori. I wish you would stop glorifying drugs (and alcohol). It's really starting to piss me off. :p
 
Lori_7 said:
Thank God for the Samuel Adams winter classics sampler. Cranberry Lambic almost makes this weather tolerable.

I can hear it now...

"I sincerely hope that one day Lori will stop glorifying drugs."

Love you pookey.
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sam adams cranberry lambic is your golden calf. may god strike you down.
i have to say when it comes to lambic its lindemanns cassis for me or nothin.
 
Golden calf...lol.

Um, would being set up by some nark on two counts of felony drug trafficking, and thrown in jail be considered "struck down"? Yea...yea, I think it does. But I still love Him more than cranberry lambic. Funny stuff. Well, I can laugh about it now...lol.
 
thats no such thing as beer, your having a laugh with me, next thing you'll be telling us is, theres a country called canada, yeh and pigs might fly.
 
A $5000 flat fee lawyer. Never been in trouble before. 3 years probation reduced down to 1 1/2 years. Lots of community service...can't remember exactly how much...but alot. Lost my license for a year, but had work priviledges. And God's real nice to me. It was just pot...2 quarter bags. I wasn't a dealer, but a user that was set up. I believe it's called entrapment. I'm too nice...naive it seems. Not any more.
 
Glad to hear it. Lucky, lucky. You could have been up for, what, 50 years? Did the entrapment side of it help you? Did you flirt with the judge a little too? :D
 
Its to bad the first beer tastes like shit... but atleast the second one usually tastes better... and by the third im liking the taste.. and by the 4th, ive become a believer... by the 6th i am devout... by the 7th im kneeling on the floor.. or laying..
by the 8th im ready to do some real crazy ritual stuff..
by the 9th.. i start to hear voices..
by the 10th.. im speaking in tounges...
by the 11th.. i understand what im saying.
by the 12th... i forgot all about what i was doing or talking about.

and the next day.. im an unbeliever again.. since my head hurts so much, and the first beer again taste like crap...

but thats only till the second and third.

thankfully, i have a better religion than beer... although i used to be a devout follower of budwieser and coors, and miller.. as well as the pagan gods of vodka and gin....

i stilll worship at the altar of gin... but it teaches temporance... and so its not a problem.

-MT
 
Cottontop3000 said:
Glad to hear it. Lucky, lucky. You could have been up for, what, 50 years? Did the entrapment side of it help you? Did you flirt with the judge a little too? :D
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50 years! Not in this country. I plead out and did not argue entrapment. If I had, they would have thrown the book at me. The system doesn't like the word entrapment. They like to think they don't do anything wrong...shhhh. Um, yea, I wasn't looking all that hot after the lice shower and a night on a hard bunk in my prison jammies and flip flops with borrowed socks. Man that sucked.

They knew I wasn't a dealer. The cops who arrested me had a conversation about it in front of me on the way to the dea office where they tried like hell to scare me into going nark. They don't care...it's all about the money honey. It's all a big game. Funny, the first time I met my probation officer, he looked at me up and down and said, "What are you doing here?" Like there must have been some mistake on his paperwork...lol.
 
Lori_7 said:
50 years! Not in this country.
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Aren't you in the U.S.? Maybe I'm thinking of something else, but I thought dealing was 25 years a pop. Maybe that's harder drugs.
Um, yea, I wasn't looking all that hot after the lice shower and a night on a hard bunk in my prison jammies and flip flops with borrowed socks. Man that sucked.
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Ah, I bet you looked pretty cute. I spent a night in jail once, in Maine. That hard little bunk does suck. Plus they put me in with the most unstable fucker in the block. We almost fought. They switched my room, but I still slept with a sharp pencil in my fist all night, when I did sleep.
They knew I wasn't a dealer. The cops who arrested me had a conversation about it in front of me on the way to the dea office where they tried like hell to scare me into going nark. They don't care...it's all about the money honey. It's all a big game.
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Yep. I agree.

Funny, the first time I met my probation officer, he looked at me up and down and said, "What are you doing here?" Like there must have been some mistake on his paperwork...lol.
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Cause you were so cute? :) My imagination is getting the better of me. When I met my probation officer for the first time, I cussed her out and stormed out because she told me I couldn't do something that was part of my plea bargain with the DA. She was acting like a total bitch, so I did what I did, left, went straight to the DA, got it straightened out and a year later, me and my probation officer were pretty good friends. Lucky, lucky, I was.
 
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