The Conspiracy!
Your bad taste in music may not be your fault. If you find yourself ingesting an endless diet of Britney Spears, N'Sync, the Backstreet Boys, or whatever other half-assed corporate amalgamation is out there pretending to be music, it may be due to influences beyond your control. I became suspicious while tuning in to a Christina Aguilera music video, purely by accident, mind you, and an inordinate amount of my attention was focused on the song. My foot was tapping, and I felt good. My suspicions aroused, I subjected her CD, as well as the rest of these bubble gum noise-makers, to a battery of audio tests, comparing them to classic recordings by Elvis, the Beatles, and Pink Floyd. The results are undeniable. The pop pretenders all showed evidence of ultrasonic sound that have the potential to stimulate the hypothalamus or the pleasure centers of the brain. The high-pitched squeal similar to the tone created by a dog whistle, is practically inaudible except when processed through an ultrasonic interferometer. The tone balances on the edge of the human limits of hearing, and really only affects the younger generations of music listeners, before natural (or other) hearing loss occurs. The record company moguls hem and haw, claiming this "noise" is a natural byproduct of the digital recording process, but we all know these are lies perpetrated by the partly faithful. A source in the recording industry, a sound engineer who only wanted to be identified as "Yams," claims the intoxicated subliminal pleasure tone is standard nowadays. "No hit record reaches the marketplace without it," Yams stated. So now what? How do we protect our children from this crap? Honestly, we can't. If they want to listen, they'll listen, no matter how much we try to stop them. But next time you're thinking of telling little Oscar or Sally to turn their music down…wait a moment. A little damage to their eardrums may not be such a bad thing, and before you know it, they'll be dusting off your old copy of Dark Side of the Moon.
Your bad taste in music may not be your fault. If you find yourself ingesting an endless diet of Britney Spears, N'Sync, the Backstreet Boys, or whatever other half-assed corporate amalgamation is out there pretending to be music, it may be due to influences beyond your control. I became suspicious while tuning in to a Christina Aguilera music video, purely by accident, mind you, and an inordinate amount of my attention was focused on the song. My foot was tapping, and I felt good. My suspicions aroused, I subjected her CD, as well as the rest of these bubble gum noise-makers, to a battery of audio tests, comparing them to classic recordings by Elvis, the Beatles, and Pink Floyd. The results are undeniable. The pop pretenders all showed evidence of ultrasonic sound that have the potential to stimulate the hypothalamus or the pleasure centers of the brain. The high-pitched squeal similar to the tone created by a dog whistle, is practically inaudible except when processed through an ultrasonic interferometer. The tone balances on the edge of the human limits of hearing, and really only affects the younger generations of music listeners, before natural (or other) hearing loss occurs. The record company moguls hem and haw, claiming this "noise" is a natural byproduct of the digital recording process, but we all know these are lies perpetrated by the partly faithful. A source in the recording industry, a sound engineer who only wanted to be identified as "Yams," claims the intoxicated subliminal pleasure tone is standard nowadays. "No hit record reaches the marketplace without it," Yams stated. So now what? How do we protect our children from this crap? Honestly, we can't. If they want to listen, they'll listen, no matter how much we try to stop them. But next time you're thinking of telling little Oscar or Sally to turn their music down…wait a moment. A little damage to their eardrums may not be such a bad thing, and before you know it, they'll be dusting off your old copy of Dark Side of the Moon.
