QED. (I think - I took that as one can be humble and still vent spleen).
What does that matter to you? You state yourself you are false? You hold no aspirations of honor, correct?
At a certain point, these are answers only the individual can find. You needn't press
me. I know what I think of me, and what I think of you. And. . . I am honest as well, not false. So don't "QED" my ass. I make no pretenses. lol Do you want to know if it can be done? I said, go ask an expert in the area. It would be disingenuous of me to just say, no, one can't be humble and vent spleen. I am not sufficiently expert in this area to explain intelligently enough to you why. It takes a lifetime to be so humble in every respect so that one doesn't, and only that person could explain why.
I have found a written explanation for you by the Dali Lama, however, it is moot. I am sure you will have a follow up question, and, more than likely, I will not be able to answer it. (I am no Zen master.
) First, we'll start with one of his meditations, then his explanation. You do meditate don't you? Of course not, silly me. lol
Whenever I interact with someone,
May I view myself as the lowest amongst all,
And, from the very depths of my heart,
Respectfully hold others as superior.
"Moving on to another line of the verse, I think it is important to understand the expression "May I see myself lower than all others" in the right context. Certainly it is not saying that you should engage in thoughts that would lead to lower self-esteem, or that you should lose all sense of hope and feel dejected, thinking, "I'm the lowest of all. I have no capacity, I cannot do anything and have no power." This is not the kind of consideration of lowness that is being referred to here. The regarding of oneself as lower than others really has to be understood in relative terms. Generally speaking, human beings are superior to animals. We are equipped with the ability to judge between right and wrong and to think in terms of the future and so on. However, one could also argue that in other respects human beings are inferior to animals. For example, animals may not have the ability to judge between right and wrong in a moral sense, and they might not have the ability to see the long-term consequences of their actions, but within the animal realm there is at least a certain sense of order. If you look at the African savannah, for example, predators prey on other animals only out of necessity when they are hungry. When they are not hungry, you can see them coexisting quite peacefully. But we human beings, despite our ability to judge between right and wrong, sometimes act out of pure greed. Sometimes we engage in actions purely out of indulgence--we kill out of a sense of "sport," say, when we go hunting or fishing. So, in a sense, one could argue that human beings have proven to be inferior to animals. It is in such relativistic terms that we can regard ourselves as lower than others. One of the reasons for using the word "lower" is to emphasize that normally when we give in to ordinary emotions of anger, hatred, strong attachment, and greed, we do so without any sense of restraint. Often we are totally oblivious to the impact our behavior has on other sentient beings. But by deliberately cultivating the thought of regarding others as superior and worthy of your reverence, you provide yourself with a restraining factor. Then, when emotions arise, they will not be so powerful as to cause you to disregard the impact of your actions upon other sentient beings. It is on these grounds that recognition of others as superior to yourself is suggested. "
http://www.dalailama.com/teachings/training-the-mind/verse-2
So basically, if you were humble, you'd care how your anger is going to affect others. There is no room for your spleen whilst attempting to cultivate a trained mind/spirit. Or as those fruity Christians like to say, the "kingdom of god."
And I'd never expect you to apologize for something you don't recall. Don't be ridiculous. In fact, I wouldn't expect an apology from anyone for anything on here, would you? How ridiculous. If I do get someone admitting they learned something or, an, "oh gee, you were right," I probably just found a decent human being.
