Affairs:

Cab affairs ever be justified?

  • yes

    Votes: 5 26.3%

  • no

    Votes: 9 47.4%

  • under the right curcumstances

    Votes: 5 26.3%
  • Total voters
    19
L

lucifers angel

same shit, differant day!!
Registered Senior Member
Are affairs ok?

or are they a sign of a failing realationship? when is it ok for a man/woman to fall into the arms of someone new?

Can an affair really be justified? or is is just wrong and should not be allowed, and the person who strayed should be punished somehow?

my take on it is:

if marriage isnt working then perhaps its ok, but perhaps people should remember the person you are seeing, are parasites feeding on a breaking relationship? or perhaps they really love you and will treat you better?

your thoughts!!
 
Don't quite know what option to pick. I know it would put my relationship under some strain if I was boinging someone else, and I wouldn't want to hurt my partner's feelings.

Somehow though if she erred I might feel like I was to blame, and perhaps shoulder some of the responsibility of driving her towards someone else, maybe she would feel the same, maybe she wouldn't. I'm not going to screw around and find out.

I dunno, I reckon if you can forgive affairs you are on the road to being a swinger, and that's a whole different mindset, and one I don't really understand.
 
if marriage isnt working then perhaps its ok,
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If the marriage leads to an affair then my thoughts are that something is wrong with the marriage if the partner must seek out another lover to satisfy their needs. Instead of expressing whatever concerns them that their own partner is bothering them or whatever their problem stems from they seek another's love, then the marriage should be dissolved and each go their own ways BEFORE someone finds out about the affair and then real problems happen.:eek:
 
Sure, an affair can save a bad marriage. Never read Lady Chatterley's lover?
 
Then again have you heard of someone finding their partner with someone else and killing them as well?:shrug:
 
I think it's just the natural order of things. IMO it's ludicrous to think that one man and one woman can and should stay faithful for the rest of their lives. Think about it, sooner or later you're going to want someone and something new... its how we are. Now I'm not saying that marriage is a bad thing, but when someone cheats can you blame them?
 
Depends if you count open relationships as affairs. Generally speaking though I'd say no. If you're in an exclusive relationship you no longer want to be a part of and desire to be with someone else, I think it's safe to say grow up, grow a pair, and leave the person you're with. There might be reasons for it, but I can't think of a justification for it.
Believing you have the right to have anything and everything you want is in fact very childish.
 
I think anti-flag is on the right lines, it's a matter of what the couple agrees to in their relationship. It's a little moral contract.
 
there is no excuse for an affair. if you arn't in love with your partner then just break it off but to go out "shopping" for a new fuck while lying to your partner is in excusable.

That being said im only talking about doing it behind your partners back, if your sperated with no promises either way or you have chosen as a couple to have an open relationship thats a whole other story
 
brokenpower said:
IMO it's ludicrous to think that one man and one woman can and should stay faithful for the rest of their lives.
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But it's also a matter of trust. If your partner can smile in your face and say they love you and are faithful, and yet cheat behind your back, what else could they lie about ? what else could you not trust them for ?
 
To me it seems pretty simple, if you and your partner are exclusive and you cheat and pretend you are not then its bad. If you have an open relationship and tell each other then its fine.

I don't find it hard to stay faithful in exclusive relationships I don't get tempted to cheat atall.
 
No matter how careful you might be, eventually what you do behind your partners back catches up to you.;)
 
cosmictraveler said:
No matter how careful you might be, eventually what you do behind your partners back catches up to you.;)
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do you really think so?

i dont think it does you see, i also think that affairs are a sign of a failing relationship, but i have to wonder back to the saying "once a cheater always a cheater" i dont think thats right either
 
You're all right. It is indeed a sign of a problem. It might be a problem in the relationship but it could just as easily be a problem in the individual. Not everything that happens in a marriage is about the marriage, you are still two separate human beings.

Still it isn't necessarily the deal breaker many of you seem to think it is. With people living twice as long as they did 100 years ago and marriages therefore being expected to last three or four times as long, they're under a lot more pressure, and more kinds of pressure, than they used to be. In America it's commonly said that in more than half of marriages at least one spouse has had an affair, although I've never seen any formal research substantiating that claim.

Many marriages survive affairs and many perfectly faithful spouses get divorced.

There are far worse things that can happen, like death of a child.
 
Syzygys: Sure, an affair can save a bad marriage. Never read Lady Chatterley's lover?

Lady Chatterleys affair ended her marriage. She runs off with the earthy masculine woodsman and leaves her impotent husband to rot in his wheelchair.
 
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No, a spouse is put into a nursing home and they remain married. Is it ok for the other spouse to date/have sex with others or should they divorce the spouse in the nursing home?
 
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