NEW 9TH PLANET FOUND!
Poor Pluto’s been banished to the underworld,
Charon rowing him to the land of the forgotten.
Schoolchildren petitioned for his return,
But he was voted off of the solar island.
Memory’s crutch for the order of the planets,
Is now just “MVEMJSUN”—
Old Pluto tried so darn hard, its position
Now even closer to the sun than Neptune’s.
Well, many have searched for quite a while for
The next planet without any success—
There have been hoaxes, theories, and some ghosts;
Yet, I have firm proof of another planet.
But, first, a review of some poor attempts:
“Vulcan” was spotted very close to the sun,
And “existed” for about five days,
But now is relegated to the Star Trek World.
Another “Vulcan”, impossible to see,
Being 180 degrees away from Earth,
Behind the sun, was seen in the movie
“Journey to the Far Side of the Sun”.
Could an asteroid like Eris be a planet?
Nope, not allowed, although all of the
Debris between Mars and Jupiter
Could have come from an unstable planet.
Nice try, but it’s not out there anymore,
And any planets of other solar systems
Don’t count, nor does Planet Hollywood
Or Daily Planet or any other restaurants.
Perhaps there’s another planet way out,
Beyond; that may be so, but, no matter,
Though it may become the 10th planet, since
I have found the newest 9th with no doubt.
The 9th planet does follow an orbit
Close to Earth’s, ever falling toward the sun—
It is right under our nose: It’s the moon!
But, wait, you say, it is Earth’s satellite.
Our moon is unique in the solar system—
It’s not captured by the Earth, but by the sun,
It’s orbit being everywhere concave to Sol.
(Thanks to Issac Asimov for proving this.)
Never does our moon fall away from the sun,
For it’s attracted to it about twice as much
As it is to the Earth, although the moon and
The Earth do form a double planet system
That revolves about a common point that
Happens to be inside of the Earth.