Why?
- Thread starter *stRgrL*
- Start date
Cool! lol 
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
- Probably noticed that the calf was drinking from it. Anyway, I think we got goats milk first.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
- For things other than toast. Such as pizza egg muffins.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- Think of what would hapepn with the bulb
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
- Nope. A corpse isn't a passenger anymore than a bag of grocceries is.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
- What good would the show be? By the way - the hole in their boat was monsterous and, as I recall, underwater. Not exactly easy to fix, hm? Better question - why didn't he build a boat.
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
- Manners
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
- Makes people more comfortable
Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
- It's a cartoon! Goofy was 'invented' decades before Pluto and the old, old cartoons were basically just odd characters doing normal things with the occasional odd act.
What do you call male ballerinas?
- A ballerina
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
- People who were born blind dream in the other senses.
Why ARE Trix only for kids?
- Marketing ploy. Gets kids more interested in a prodcut if they think it's only for them. actually, that works for just about any demographic.
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- You know a place to order road-runner to go?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
- Quizzes in the sense of a test aren't quizzical.
If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
- Possibly. But it's certainly much, much more likely that he's wrong if a woman is around!
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
- What kind of idiot touches something that apparently has wet paint?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
- Yes. That's a good one actually.
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
- Twinkle, Twinkle tune has been used for many things. Familiarity and it's a simple tune that can fit to many things.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
- There's a full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
- Does a nice breeze feel good? How about if I blew into your nose?
Sorry, I make these things no fun. 99% of the time all the questions can be answered quite logically. I do the same thing when people present me with stereotypical retorical questions. Believe it or not someone came up to me last year and told me they had a neat psychological thing with the glass-half-empty/full question.
- Probably noticed that the calf was drinking from it. Anyway, I think we got goats milk first.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
- For things other than toast. Such as pizza egg muffins.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- Think of what would hapepn with the bulb
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
- Nope. A corpse isn't a passenger anymore than a bag of grocceries is.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
- What good would the show be? By the way - the hole in their boat was monsterous and, as I recall, underwater. Not exactly easy to fix, hm? Better question - why didn't he build a boat.
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
- Manners
Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
- Makes people more comfortable
Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
- It's a cartoon! Goofy was 'invented' decades before Pluto and the old, old cartoons were basically just odd characters doing normal things with the occasional odd act.
What do you call male ballerinas?
- A ballerina
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
- People who were born blind dream in the other senses.
Why ARE Trix only for kids?
- Marketing ploy. Gets kids more interested in a prodcut if they think it's only for them. actually, that works for just about any demographic.
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- You know a place to order road-runner to go?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
- Quizzes in the sense of a test aren't quizzical.
If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
- Possibly. But it's certainly much, much more likely that he's wrong if a woman is around!
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
- What kind of idiot touches something that apparently has wet paint?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
- Yes. That's a good one actually.
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
- Twinkle, Twinkle tune has been used for many things. Familiarity and it's a simple tune that can fit to many things.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
- There's a full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
- Does a nice breeze feel good? How about if I blew into your nose?
Sorry, I make these things no fun. 99% of the time all the questions can be answered quite logically. I do the same thing when people present me with stereotypical retorical questions. Believe it or not someone came up to me last year and told me they had a neat psychological thing with the glass-half-empty/full question.
fine then. ive got a couple for you. sorry if any repeat..
7 Things That Piss Me Off
1. People in the supermarket check out line who
wait until their entire bill is rung up before they
begin writing their check. Hello...is the store name
going to change, or the date, or your
signature before the clerk finishes? Get a clue!
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to
search the entire room for the damn TV remote
because they refuse to walk to the TV and change it
manually!
3. When people say..."Oh, you just want to have
your cake and eat it, too." Screw that!!! What good
is a damn piece of cake if you can' t eat it? What
should I do...eat someone else's piece of cake
instead??
4. When people say..."It's always the last place
you look." No shit!! Why the hell would you keep
looking for it after you've already found it?? Do
people do this?? Who and where are they??
5. When people say, while watching a movie ...
Did you see that?" No, dumb ass, I paid $7.50 to
come to a theater and stare at the ceiling up there. What
did you come here for??
6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?"
Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?
7. When something is "New & Improved," Which is it?
If it's new, there has never been anything before
it. If it's an improvement then there must have been
something before it!
7 Things That Piss Me Off
1. People in the supermarket check out line who
wait until their entire bill is rung up before they
begin writing their check. Hello...is the store name
going to change, or the date, or your
signature before the clerk finishes? Get a clue!
2. People who are willing to get off their ass to
search the entire room for the damn TV remote
because they refuse to walk to the TV and change it
manually!
3. When people say..."Oh, you just want to have
your cake and eat it, too." Screw that!!! What good
is a damn piece of cake if you can' t eat it? What
should I do...eat someone else's piece of cake
instead??
4. When people say..."It's always the last place
you look." No shit!! Why the hell would you keep
looking for it after you've already found it?? Do
people do this?? Who and where are they??
5. When people say, while watching a movie ...
Did you see that?" No, dumb ass, I paid $7.50 to
come to a theater and stare at the ceiling up there. What
did you come here for??
6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?"
Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya buddy?
7. When something is "New & Improved," Which is it?
If it's new, there has never been anything before
it. If it's an improvement then there must have been
something before it!
me
What do you call male ballerinas?
i got a cousin that married a former male ballerina
i called him a ballerina and he said he was a ballet master
ok
does Goodyear manufacture blimps or not?
why do they call them strawberries when they are not berries, but enlarged ends of the reproductive organs of fragarian plants in the rose family.
What do you call male ballerinas?
i got a cousin that married a former male ballerina
i called him a ballerina and he said he was a ballet master
ok
does Goodyear manufacture blimps or not?
why do they call them strawberries when they are not berries, but enlarged ends of the reproductive organs of fragarian plants in the rose family.
Because parents wouldn't want to buy their children some reproductive organs for a snack.