Please Convert To Christianity
Throughout history men have sought to understand themselves and others, to make changes for the betterment of mankind. Today more than ever we need true believers in Christs never-ending struggle against his opressors. If you've ever felt down, sad, if things seemed not to be quite right, well... turn to our lord Jesus for the answers. Please understand god is here for you, more than your mother, your father, your friends, and more than even yourself. Without Jesus to guide you in life things won't ever be fully yours, everything we see and do is all because of Jesus, you can't ignore that fact.
In the middle ages Christs influence became more widespread, all those in suffering and need beckoned him to visit, to give some special meaning to their pathetic lives. It's as true today as it ever was, your life feels bland and without meaning right? Don't you wish for more than what you've been given or worked toward? Please my brothers consider we're all children of god, there was never a time in your lives when he was not present.
Let us reflect on things for awhile... before all other religions there was god, Christ... he lived in a place known as heaven. During this men were made, and then Adam along with Eve populated the world. Let's not delve into the reasons they didn't produce freakish monsters due to inbreeding, god used his almighty powers to influence the genes so it did not happen. As time progressed Adam & Eve produced hundreds of children, each in turn mating with eachother.... gods will is absolute.
There are many things you must understand, I am here to guide you. Did you recently have stressful financial times? God was causing this so you would learn how much you need him in your life. When you question the bible or its contents you end up removing yourself from Jesus's presence, you follow the path towards satan and his demonic forces. You see gentlemen (all) there is a real war going on today, it's a battle for your soul.
Without god (your) in your life there's a very big chance you will be sent to hell, and there you'll be tortured and punished for not obeying god. I don't want you to end up down there, the bible tells us the only way to heaven is through him (base) so please don't ignore this truth. If you've done anything wrong or evil or negative in your life then repent now, take our lord Christ as your savior, it's not to (are) late to accept him.
Throughout history men, women, children of all races have come to worship Jesus as a messenger of the one and only God. His spirit is in everything, the rocks, trees, bushes, skunks, pigs, tortises, hogs, bulls, all through them and beyond. The universe was created by this unique mystery, but even though we cannot understand God fully (belong) we know he's real and good.
Forget your past transgressions against him, let the light of Jesus Christ enter your world, let the demonic forces that give you horney, sexual, perverted thoughts be drowned by the mundane (to us) energy of this great being. I cannot help you in, I can only show you the door...
Islam, Judism, Catholism, all these things are part of the true religion known as Christianity. Even though they existed long before our religious ideology they non-the-less are meaningless, for god came and told the men all of his beliefs, and they accepted this. If you want to worship an idol like a golden calve then go ahead, but it can only lead you to ruin.
Your thinking has been poisoned by society, your facts are wrong and god can help save you. Science means nothing, Jesus is the only thing you should care about, if you don't obey us now then later on something terrible will happen, you could be in a bad position. We love everyone, but if you don't love god we can't truly be part of your life... (resistance) please don't ignore what I'm saying, you need real (is futile) real honesty, genuine concern, and our religion in your life.
Well that's all for now, but truly consider our message, my message, otherwise you will suffer horribly and god won't help you.
PS This is satire
Throughout history men have sought to understand themselves and others, to make changes for the betterment of mankind. Today more than ever we need true believers in Christs never-ending struggle against his opressors. If you've ever felt down, sad, if things seemed not to be quite right, well... turn to our lord Jesus for the answers. Please understand god is here for you, more than your mother, your father, your friends, and more than even yourself. Without Jesus to guide you in life things won't ever be fully yours, everything we see and do is all because of Jesus, you can't ignore that fact.
In the middle ages Christs influence became more widespread, all those in suffering and need beckoned him to visit, to give some special meaning to their pathetic lives. It's as true today as it ever was, your life feels bland and without meaning right? Don't you wish for more than what you've been given or worked toward? Please my brothers consider we're all children of god, there was never a time in your lives when he was not present.
Let us reflect on things for awhile... before all other religions there was god, Christ... he lived in a place known as heaven. During this men were made, and then Adam along with Eve populated the world. Let's not delve into the reasons they didn't produce freakish monsters due to inbreeding, god used his almighty powers to influence the genes so it did not happen. As time progressed Adam & Eve produced hundreds of children, each in turn mating with eachother.... gods will is absolute.
There are many things you must understand, I am here to guide you. Did you recently have stressful financial times? God was causing this so you would learn how much you need him in your life. When you question the bible or its contents you end up removing yourself from Jesus's presence, you follow the path towards satan and his demonic forces. You see gentlemen (all) there is a real war going on today, it's a battle for your soul.
Without god (your) in your life there's a very big chance you will be sent to hell, and there you'll be tortured and punished for not obeying god. I don't want you to end up down there, the bible tells us the only way to heaven is through him (base) so please don't ignore this truth. If you've done anything wrong or evil or negative in your life then repent now, take our lord Christ as your savior, it's not to (are) late to accept him.
Throughout history men, women, children of all races have come to worship Jesus as a messenger of the one and only God. His spirit is in everything, the rocks, trees, bushes, skunks, pigs, tortises, hogs, bulls, all through them and beyond. The universe was created by this unique mystery, but even though we cannot understand God fully (belong) we know he's real and good.
Forget your past transgressions against him, let the light of Jesus Christ enter your world, let the demonic forces that give you horney, sexual, perverted thoughts be drowned by the mundane (to us) energy of this great being. I cannot help you in, I can only show you the door...
Islam, Judism, Catholism, all these things are part of the true religion known as Christianity. Even though they existed long before our religious ideology they non-the-less are meaningless, for god came and told the men all of his beliefs, and they accepted this. If you want to worship an idol like a golden calve then go ahead, but it can only lead you to ruin.
Your thinking has been poisoned by society, your facts are wrong and god can help save you. Science means nothing, Jesus is the only thing you should care about, if you don't obey us now then later on something terrible will happen, you could be in a bad position. We love everyone, but if you don't love god we can't truly be part of your life... (resistance) please don't ignore what I'm saying, you need real (is futile) real honesty, genuine concern, and our religion in your life.
Well that's all for now, but truly consider our message, my message, otherwise you will suffer horribly and god won't help you.
PS This is satire
