An old Jew, who looked annoyed, was talking to God:
- Lord, I've got a problem with my son.
- And what's it about? - God asked him.
- Well, I'm afraid my son wants to give up Judaism and become a Catholic!
- Hmm... Do you know, I had the same problem with my own son, man. But it wasn't a serious thing to solve. - said God.
- So, what did you do, then?
- Just made a New Testament.
Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy, if the Pope won, they would have to leave. The Jewish people met and picked an aged, but wise Rabbi Moishe, to represent them in the debate. However, as Moishe spoke no Italian and the Pope spoke no Yidish, they all agreed that it would be a "silent" debate.
On the chosen day, the Pope and Rabbi Moishe sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Rabbi Moishe looked back and raised one finger. Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head. Rabbi Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.
The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. Rabbi Moishe pulled out an apple. With that, the Pope stood up
and declared that he was beaten, that Rabbi Moishe was too clever, and that the Jews could stay.
Later, the Cardinals met with the Pope, asking what had happened. The Pope said, "First, I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He had me beaten and I could not continue.
Meanwhile, the Jewish community were gathered around Rabbi Moishe. "How did you win the debate?" they asked.
"I haven't a clue," said Moishe. First, He said to me that we had three days to get out of Italy", so I gave him the finger! Then, He tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I said to him, "we're staying right here." "And, then what," asked a woman. "Who knows?" said Moishe, He took out his lunch, so I took out mine".
An elderly Jew arrives in New York via Ellis Island about 1910.
He has left a tiny dorf in eastern Poland and never seen a great city before.
He steps out in the road and is knocked down by a motor vehicle.
Fatally injured, someone sends for a Catholic priest.
The priest arrives running and kneels beside the old man.
Do you belive in the Father, Son and Holy Ghost? He asks.
The old Jew raises himself on one elbow, shrugs painfully and says "Noo voss...I'm dying and he asks me riddles!".