What's the most idiotic thing you've ever been told?

T

Teri

Curious
Registered Senior Member
Back in another thread I remembered something someone told me when I was a kid, still unfamiliar with the facts of life. For those who haven't come across it, I was told that babies come out from your "wee wee" (not my words and I hope everyone knows that I'm talking about). I couldn't get my mind off that for a long time, thankfully I asked an older person before I embarrassed myself too much.

Anyway, it started me thinking about other things people have said that were so stupid you had to laugh. It doesn't matter how old you were; or whether you believed it or not and then found out later it was completely off the mark, but it has to be something that will raise some sort of reaction; whether it be a laugh, a smile, a frown, a look of astonishment - anything.

I'll tell you another one, a friend of mine used to get cold sores on her lips when she was younger and the nasty girls at school told her to get rid of it she should use Ajax and steelwool (I hope these products are known overseas). Anyway she believed them and just about disfigured her face trying to remove it.

Will anyone share a story like that? All topics allowed.
Cheers
Teri
 
I was told thet my scrotum was where my 'wee wee' was stored!

Or when I was about five, my older sister told me thet one of the areas of the estate where we lived was Germany.

Completely off the wall!
 
I got a giggle out of that, esp

I imagine that the funniest ones will be about the birds and the bees. Parents can be such schmucks when trying to explain anything to kids about procreation.

More... I want more. Anyone?
 
I can't think of anything that happened to me but I can remember telling one of my friend's a few months ago (same age as I am) that the word caucophoniated meant intelligent or something, anyway I got him going for upwards of half an hour before he caught on and realized that caucophoniated wasn't really a word.
 
Someone just told me that that he didn´t have any belief in beliefs, that was pretty idiotic I think, I wonder if he believed that himself... :bugeye:
 
<i>"You will go blind if you keep pulling on that."</i>

Imagine all the sightless teenage boys if that were true.
 
Bowser

That's up there with 'if you keep pulling that face the wind will change and you'll look like that forever'.

:D
 
Re: Bowser

Originally posted by Teri 2
That's up there with 'if you keep pulling that face the wind will change and you'll look like that forever'.

:D
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meeeeeeeeeeemoooooooooriessssssss :p
 
when i was in 4th grade my teacher said that the Nile was a strange river because it flowed northward, while most flowed south. i said that that was strange, not that the Nile flowed north, but that most flowed south. i asked her why.

she said gravity.


josh
 
What's the most idiotic thing you've ever been told?
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"You're Fired!"

Uttered by my last employer.

Another self-impressed individual.

He failed to recognize the obvious attitudinal signs that I'd already been gainfully self-employed for 5 years. (My co-workers knew. He was new.)

He corrrectly recognized that I personally wasn't feeling compelled to coweringly accommodate his authoriatrian power-tripping . :rolleyes:

You can spot them a mile off, if you're observant.

Authoritarians depend on you being dependent on their special brain powers - be they rationalist or irrationalist. If you're not dependent on them, they will see to it that you're "history".

Send me away. Prove me correct! :D

Never fails. ;)
 
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'If you pick your nose, your head will cave in!'

'You can't sit there' (When you happen to be sitting there)

'If you sit that close, your eyes will go square'

'Woop-de-doodle' (If you aren't confused, then you've cottoned on to it)

'Sorry, I don't have the right change' (Get the right change then!)

'Get your *Free gift!' (*Purchase necessary)
 
You'll have someones eye out with that!

Speaking in reference to a eight inch jade statuette.

????
 
chili sauce

What's the most idiotic thing you've ever been told?...

While i was eating, someone told me:
"Too much chili sauce bad for your eyes!"
Me: "How come?" :confused: (I was then thinking about health, of course)

"Try to put some on your eyes..."
Me: "#$%^&@#!"

:D :D
 
the MOST? geez, I dunno, so many out there

Well, my Birds and Bees story: perhaps it was just the way my father explained it and my overly active imagination....

from WHAT I UNDERSTOOD...the man puts a seed in the mother's belly button (like the kind you buy at K-mart) and then a baby pops out nine months later from their butt

not as bad as my sister's version: the man puts his weenie in the womans wee wee and just stays there for 5 minutes (no movement) and that's it. (she was 20 when she told me....and she married at 21 and later found out it was QUITE DIFFERENT)


Then here's one from my cousin: you "catch" cancer from walking barefoot (she was 16 and quite convinced)

Then there's the one from the hairstylist back in the the days of Desert Storm---"oh, you're from Chile? my, must be terrible having your family in the middle of the Gulf War, are you afraid for them?" She thought Chile was in the Middle East. DUH!!:rolleyes:
 
I was pretty confused when my teacher recommended I be held back in second grade, because I was too immature for 3rd grade. I didn't realize there were any maturity requirements.

It got even more confusing when they said after psychological testing etc. that I was smart enough to be skipped and obviously understood all the material, but they still thought I should be held back.

It got even more confusing when they thought maybe I should be held back again when I started acting even more immature after I was held back because I was pissed about it. You would think they would understand kids a little better.

The only immature thing I did in the first place was refuse to do work (actually I just didn't do it, and they didn't really confront me about it until they were suggesting I be held back), because there was this one kid the teacher praised way above everyone else and said we should all try and be like. So I acted the opposite way (I didn't really like him to begin with).

You would think the teacher would be mature enough to know that picking favourites among little kids is a great way to give them issues ...

Maybe that isn't what you meant though ...

How about "Why don't you put diesel fuel in your car it's cheaper?"

I thought he was joking until he did it when he got a car ...
 
"Quick, put butter on that burn!"

First aid advice from a friend to another friend who had just burned the top of his hand on the heating element of an oven.

"Cool, maybe it will leave a scar."

The friend who burned his hand.
 
Once upon a time that was the First aid advice for a burn, of course now it's run your hand under cold water (or where ever you've burnt) for as long as you feel it needs. Till the pain goes away.

As the burn is actually heat absord through your skin and burning the layers below, and they need the water to cool down.

Of course looking at another (incorrect) First Aid,

"When your nose bleeds, pinch the top of you nose and hold your head back" This was the original method of dealing with a bloody nose, but it was then found that:

1: You choke on your own blood,
2: You can break your nose and veins by pinching too hard

The Correct method is to just let your nose bleed, and put your head forwards, so that your air passages are free from blood oozing down them. And no pinching.
(The person who owns the carpet might not be happy though lol)
 
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