Top Ten Signs that You're a Christian

Medicine*Woman

Jesus: Mythstory--Not History!
Valued Senior Member
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M*W: I have copied this from the Houston Atheist Group's website:

TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOU ARE AN UNQUESTIONING CHRISTIAN

10- You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.

9- You feel insulted and 'dehumanized' when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8- You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god.

7- Your face turns purple when you hear of the 'atrocities' attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in 'Exodus' and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in 'Joshua' --Including women, children, and animals!

6- You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about god sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5- You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.!

4- You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most 'tolerant' and 'loving'.

3- While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor, speaking in 'tongues,' may be all the evidence you need.

2- You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1- You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a "Christian."
 
Top 10 signs you're an on-fire-for-Jesus Born-Again Christian:
1--You have a beautiful glow.
2--You have peace and joy unspeakable.
3--You have power you can get from nowhere else.
4--You have everything your heart desires.
5--You get people churched/saved and you LOVE it!
6--You enjoy worshiping Jesus/God and do it all day.
7--You see/perform "miracles" and KNOW the Bible is the living Word of God.
8--You have a personal relationship with the coolest God of all.
9--The hole in your soul is filled with the most awesome love.
10--You get to spend eternity with Jesus/God in Heaven.
i-love-jesus.gif
 
1--You have a beautiful glow.
2--You have peace and joy unspeakable.
3--You have power you can get from nowhere else.
4--You have everything your heart desires.
5--You get people churched/saved and you LOVE it!
6--You enjoy worshiping Jesus/God and do it all day.
7--You see/perform "miracles" and KNOW the Bible is the living Word of God.
8--You have a personal relationship with the coolest God of all.
9--The hole in your soul is filled with the most awesome love.
10--You get to spend eternity with Jesus/God in Heaven.
QUOTE]

These things apply to other ways of life too. I have the majority of these things going on in my life, except take out the words Jesus and Bible, take out point 5 and take out the word Worship.

Believe me I am SO not a born again Christian.
 
1--You have a beautiful glow.
2--You have peace and joy unspeakable.
3--You have power you can get from nowhere else.
4--You have everything your heart desires.
5--You get people churched/saved and you LOVE it!
6--You enjoy worshiping Jesus/God and do it all day.
7--You see/perform "miracles" and KNOW the Bible is the living Word of God.
8--You have a personal relationship with the coolest God of all.
9--The hole in your soul is filled with the most awesome love.
10--You get to spend eternity with Jesus/God in Heaven.
QUOTE]

These things apply to other ways of life too. I have the majority of these things going on in my life, except take out the words Jesus and Bible, take out point 5 and take out the word Worship.

Believe me I am SO not a born again Christian.

Take out Jesus and the Bible and you have nothing. Absolutely nothing.
 
Top 10 signs you're an on-fire-for-Jesus Born-Again Christian:
1--You have a beautiful glow.
2--You have peace and joy unspeakable.
3--You have power you can get from nowhere else.
4--You have everything your heart desires.
5--You get people churched/saved and you LOVE it!
6--You enjoy worshiping Jesus/God and do it all day.
7--You see/perform "miracles" and KNOW the Bible is the living Word of God.
8--You have a personal relationship with the coolest God of all.
9--The hole in your soul is filled with the most awesome love.
10--You get to spend eternity with Jesus/God in Heaven.

The believer will fabricate anything and everything right out of thin air, often contradicting the simplest levels of common sense and dignity all the while sticking long needles into honesty and integrity dolls.


Kristians Kausing Konflict.
 
* * * * NOTE FROM A MODERATOR (but not the Moderator of this board) * * * *

This subforum is for scholarship.

This thread should be moved to the Religion board, the only place on SciForums where taking religion seriously does not automatically qualify as trolling.
 
Take out Jesus and the Bible and you have nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I used to be a Christian, but have questioned my beliefs enough to turn away from religion. Considering that I now do not follow/believe in the bible, or Jesus, and am still incredibly happy with my life, that your statement is just a tad askew. I still care for the same basic things as I did when I was a Christian, except now I do them because I simply feel that they are right, not because I am being told that I have to do these things in order to not go to hell. The well being of all people is what I truly believe is important, therefor I do what I can to be kind and caring to everyone, no matter who they are. The thought that there could be a God who would not allow someone into "heaven" simply because they chose to follow (or were born into) a different religion makes me laugh. I personally believe that if there was a God who wouldn't allow an honest, caring, trustworthy, and wholesome individual into heaven based simply on their beliefs, then this god/heaven is not someone/something that I would want any part of. (this is purely hypothetical, considering I don't believe that there even is a god)
 
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M*W: I have copied this from the Houston Atheist Group's website:

TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOU ARE AN UNQUESTIONING CHRISTIAN

10- You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.
I do deny the existence of other Gods, I do not get angry when you deny it,

9- You feel insulted and 'dehumanized' when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
Again, I am not offended by evolution, but I do think it is wrong.

8- You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god.
I don't laugh at other religions. A Trinity God? You don't understand this, three persons, one God. Kind of like marriage, two persons, one marriage.
7- Your face turns purple when you hear of the 'atrocities' attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in 'Exodus' and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in 'Joshua' --Including women, children, and animals!
Muslims don't bother me, I do believe they are wrong. I am not opposed to God judging rebellious people, God will do what He wills.
6- You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about god sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
It's one thing to say you had sex with a woman, another to say you put a child in her.
5- You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.!
I don't believe in men guessing, I believe in god knowing.
4- You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most 'tolerant' and 'loving'.
Yes.
3- While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor, speaking in 'tongues,' may be all the evidence you need.
I am against Pentecostalism, rolling on the ground and speaking is 'tongues' is foolishness.
2- You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
I do? I understand that God works all things for the good of those who love Him.
1- You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a "Christian."
[/Quote]
Wrong again, I have done extensive studies on church history and on the Bible. Your posts show your ignorance, Medicine Woman.
 
I do deny the existence of other Gods

We deny only one more god than you.

Again, I am not offended by evolution, but I do think it is wrong.

Actually, you believe it's wrong. You would have to understand evolution first before commenting. Anyone who does understand evolution also understands why it is correct.

A Trinity God? You don't understand this, three persons, one God. Kind of like marriage, two persons, one marriage.

In a marriage, there are still separate beings so your example makes no sense.

Muslims don't bother me, I do believe they are wrong. I am not opposed to God judging rebellious people, God will do what He wills.

Yes, your god hates them and will send them to a pit of hellfire for an eternity to suffer in pain and agony while you go on adoring, loving and worshiping this god for doing so.

It's one thing to say you had sex with a woman, another to say you put a child in her.

So, what is the difference?

I am against Pentecostalism, rolling on the ground and speaking is 'tongues' is foolishness.

And, believing in invisible sky daddies who will violate the laws of physics on the whim of the meek isn't foolishness?

I do? I understand that God works all things for the good of those who love Him.

Of course, the tens of thousands of children who starve every day are not in gods favor. Perhaps, they hate god and god is wielding his wrath against them? How does that work?
 
I don't laugh at other religions. A Trinity God? You don't understand this, three persons, one God. Kind of like marriage, two persons, one marriage.

Actually, no.
If you compare it to marriage, then trinitarianism would not be a form of monotheism. In a marriage two individuals get married. In Christian theology, there is only one God.

I don't think you understand the concept.
It's supposedly mysterious and counterintuitive.
 
Actually, no.
If you compare it to marriage, then trinitarianism would not be a form of monotheism. In a marriage two individuals get married. In Christian theology, there is only one God.

I don't think you understand the concept.
It's supposedly mysterious and counterintuitive.
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M*W: Kind of like a living room suite, you get five pieces of furniture, but it's considered one suite???

Or a full deck of cards... it's only one deck, but it's got to have 52 cards, etc..

Or a combination plate... it's only one plate, but it's got to include the taco, otherwise, it's one taco shy of a combination plate.

These are some of the other mysteries of life.
 
11. "Everyone unguiltily hates you whether you've done anything or not?" :shrug:
 
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M*W: Kind of like a living room suite, you get five pieces of furniture, but it's considered one suite???

Or a full deck of cards... it's only one deck, but it's got to have 52 cards, etc..

Or a combination plate... it's only one plate, but it's got to include the taco, otherwise, it's one taco shy of a combination plate.

These are some of the other mysteries of life.

I cannot post URLs until I've reached 20 posts (this would be the 12th), but for all things Catholick... I give you Catholic Encyclopedia (ecce encyclopaedia catholica, tolle lege) :

ht tp: //ww w. newadvent.org/cathen/15047a.htm

(I had to add spaces so the system would allow me to post it, so delete the spaces to get there)
 
I found this to be rather amusing.


I couldn't find a good video to present, so explore more than just that one.



(He's a satirical writer, he's not being serious, if you didn't get the hints.)
 
I found this to be rather amusing.


I couldn't find a good video to present, so explore more than just that one.



(He's a satirical writer, he's not being serious, if you didn't get the hints.)

Are you sure he is not being serious? On evolution, i just cannot make a commitment. I say 'John, evolution is NOT amgic. The animals DID change'. But it is a struggle for me. Eyelashes on a human? Teeth? would evolution produce a single hard surface as opposed to separate teeth that go bad fall out to the point where the human can no longer eat properly. Signifying their time is coming to an end like their own clock.
 
Are you sure he is not being serious?

Quite sure. It's under the comedy category, and tagged as being satire. He is having a laugh at the expense of Christians, and doing a good job of it.



Eyelashes on a human? Teeth?
What about them?


would evolution produce a single hard surface as opposed to separate teeth that go bad fall out to the point where the human can no longer eat properly. Signifying their time is coming to an end like their own clock.

I think that first sentence was supposed to end in a question mark. But the answer is yes, it would. Our teeth "go bad to the point where we cannot eat properly" as you say is not because of evolution, but because of all the shit we shovel into our mouths that rots them to the core.
 
I think that first sentence was supposed to end in a question mark. But the answer is yes, it would. Our teeth "go bad to the point where we cannot eat properly" as you say is not because of evolution, but because of all the shit we shovel into our mouths that rots them to the core.

Yes, it is a question. How and why did teeth evolve the way they did?
 
*************
M*W: I have copied this from the Houston Atheist Group's website:

TOP TEN SIGNS THAT YOU ARE AN UNQUESTIONING CHRISTIAN

10- You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of your god.

9- You feel insulted and 'dehumanized' when scientists say that people evolved from lesser life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8- You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Trinity god.

7- Your face turns purple when you hear of the 'atrocities' attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in 'Exodus' and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in 'Joshua' --Including women, children, and animals!

6- You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about god sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5- You are willing to spend your life looking for little loop-holes in the scientifically established age of the Earth (4.55 billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by pre-historic tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that the Earth is a couple of generations old.!

4- You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects -- will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet you consider your religion the most 'tolerant' and 'loving'.

3- While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor, speaking in 'tongues,' may be all the evidence you need.

2- You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1- You actually know a lot less than many Atheists and Agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history -- but still call yourself a "Christian."


Yep that sure doesn't sound like moi!


Top 10 signs you're an on-fire-for-Jesus Born-Again Christian:
1--You have a beautiful glow.
2--You have peace and joy unspeakable.
3--You have power you can get from nowhere else.
4--You have everything your heart desires.
5--You get people churched/saved and you LOVE it!
6--You enjoy worshiping Jesus/God and do it all day.
7--You see/perform "miracles" and KNOW the Bible is the living Word of God.
8--You have a personal relationship with the coolest God of all.
9--The hole in your soul is filled with the most awesome love.
10--You get to spend eternity with Jesus/God in Heaven.
i-love-jesus.gif

with THE most awesome love? sounds like a super-dooper mega most awesome love to me! :D
 
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