Cynicism
Living out the cynical ideal? I didn't know how impartial or objective I can be about this issue because I imagine it's different for men and women maybe not ideologically or ethically but in a practical, sociological and economical sense. I'm not suggesting women are of a lower order philosophically or intellectually etc. but that they sometimes have different considerations and concerns but more significantly they've been socialized differently and there are different expectations of them. I have a friend who is in a relationship in which she lives with her boyfriend. Things have been getting a little ugly between them and I think she would like to get out of it but I she's somewhat afraid of having to live on her own and support herself so she's giving the guy a lot of chances and leeway for being an asshole. I think she knows it's a losing battle but there are advantages to being with him, economic as well as plain old codependency. She does love the guy but she's subjecting herself to abuses she knows she should never abide.
As far as going into a situation where the emotional involvement is minimal at best, for what it has to offer in terms of economic and physical security there are certainly different schools of thought. On one hand, the idealists and romantics would consider a shame and a sham to take advantage of another emotionally and deny oneself a relationship based on love for financial and material gain. The other school of thought tells a man never marry a woman you love because of the complications by way of pain, jealousy and passion that often causes irrational thought and behavior. To view marriage as a neccesary, functional bond. I suppose it depends on the individual's own ideals and principles. For some it's a matter of survival and from that perspective could be seen as perfectly justifiable. Also, people have different concepts of love. Some believe it's the essence and ultimate purpose of humanity. To find it, nuture it, give and receive it and without it no human being will ever be complete and fulfilled. Others find that it only brings trouble and pain and that life is much more manageable keeping such emotional attachments low key and to a minimum. Again, the individual can only know for themself what is important to them and for some love isn't a priority and security, comfort, wealth etc is. I suppose it's also true that some people don't mind being used, men and women alike. It may seem sad but to each his own as with the "user." This may have offered nothing that addressed the original question but I hope so.