To males....

[whitewolf]

What kind of stupid threads are you people running lately!

I seriously have no clue what would be a proper reaction when people whistle at me. So I'm trying to find out. I also don't understand why whistling (etc) is done if it brings absolutely no results.

Rosa, if I were in your place at that time, I'd run faster. A large group of whistling men is scary to me.

 

[water]

whitewolf,

Yes, a large group of men IS scary. But think: if you run, then everything on your body shakes -- making the men even more apt to comment!

(Sheesh, I shudder at the technicality of this remark.)

 

[buffys]

Every time I show up outside of my house, there are at least two strangers who whistle, yell out hello, or say "niiiiiice" when I can hear it. Those are cleches, most guys find more creative ways to "start a conversation." Sometimes, it's a compliment, sometimes it's harassment, depending on my mood. I usually gaze into horizon, but lately, I started to look around at other people, and I noticed each guy at least gives me a glance.

Is it only NY men who do that? Is it only American men? Does every guy you know do that? Do you do that?

you know, now that you mention it I've never seen anyone do that in real life. I definitely have never done it, I'd always thought it was just something people did in movies.

 

[GuessWho]

whitewolf,

I assume that you are a decent looking lady. Will you be offended if all men around you totally ignore and never pay any attention to how you look?

 

[robtex]

Every time I show up outside of my house, there are at least two strangers who whistle, yell out hello, or say "niiiiiice" when I can hear it. Those are cleches, most guys find more creative ways to "start a conversation."
If a girl makes eye contact, what do you think? If a girl smiles back, what do you think? If a girl says hi, what does that mean to you? (Well, it doesn't get further than that, 99% of the time ) And, if the girl ignores you, do you find it offensive? What do you expect from a decent female after you whistle/comment?

Do you find that men find you approachable? I ask this because you are saying you get whistles and silly comments a lot and because you say that saying hi doesn't get you further 99 % of the time.

I can't whistle and not into off handed comments but at the age of 36 have gotten pretty good at evaulating which woman are approachable and which are not. What I have learned from this though is that many woman who are not approchable do not see themselves as such or have not thought about it.

To give you a tangable example about 12 months ago there was a co-worker at my job named Sandra. She was in my estimation not approachable but since we worked together overtime she opened up a little to me.

She said that she could not get a date for the life of her but in our day to day interactions she was really hard on the guys she interacted with and on many days would be nice to me and than on others tell me I was like all other guys --ie pigs despite the fact that I never flirt with her asked her out or hit on her. (cause she was not my type).

I told her one day that her attitude was her worst enemy but she didn't bite into my theory and I don't want to elongate this entry too much with Sandra's dirty laundry but one thing I noticed is that she was the recipient of many off handed coments on a weekly basis but was only asked out once (by a married man --of all the luck).

I wonder two things:

1) if some men use off handed comments and whistle to interact with woman they deem as non-approachable

2) If you consider yourself (since we cannot know from here in cyberspace) as approachable in general.

I realize though that low self esteem is probably a big part of the whoofing and whistling but I am thinking it is (a) realitive to the relationship between the man and woman who are involved in the whoofing and (b) woman's approachablity is a sub-reason for the whoofing.

 

[TruthSeeker]

It could be that they think you're really ugly and they're just being sarcastic.

I know that sometimes if I see a really ugly person, I sometimes can't take my eyes off of them. Their uglinesses are enigmatic and thus attractive.

Hahahahahaha

Welll... (I suppose you are talking with me)... they say I'm really cute..... So..... I guess it is not that....

Who knows? Girls make no sense. They keep contradicting themselves...!

 

[sargentlard]

Who knows? Girls make no sense. They keep contradicting themselves...!

AMEN.

 

[whitewolf]

1) if some men use off handed comments and whistle to interact with woman they deem as non-approachable
2) If you consider yourself (since we cannot know from here in cyberspace) as approachable in general.

People don't like me. Guys I like the most usually don't start talking to me until I spend a few weeks running after them and convincing them that I am a likeable being. I hope that says a lot about approachability. But how can they tell from merely looking at me?

 

[whitewolf]

Will you be offended if all men around you totally ignore and never pay any attention to how you look?

I'm usually very happy if nobody distracts my trail of thought.

 

[Zero]

People don't like me. Guys I like the most usually don't start talking to me until I spend a few weeks running after them and convincing them that I am a likeable being. I hope that says a lot about approachability.

Aye. And the fact you have a skull and crossbones for an avatar.

 

[TruthSeeker]

AMEN.

Yeah well... but it is true, isn't it?
If you flirt with them, they either say that you are annoying or they like it...
They change mood so fast....
They say you are cute, caring, friendly.... and still don't care about you...
They change their mind really fast...
They are often either too sensible or not sensible at all...
They say they want to be treated well but go out with a guy that treat them like garbage/slave/trophy....

They say they want a romantic guy and go out with the first jackass they see on their way...


Yes, they make no sense. I rather be a jerk so that I can go out with them. I'm tired of being a saint. I can't wait to go back to Canada and treat them like a true jackass does. Then... oh yeah baby, here I come! Who is your daddy babe?

 

[whitewolf]

Aye. And the fact you have a skull and crossbones for an avatar.

Those are not bones. Those are swords.

 

[Starthane Xyzth]

They change mood so fast....
They say you are cute, caring, friendly.... and still don't care about you...
They change their mind really fast...
They are often either too sensible or not sensible at all...
They say they want to be treated well but go out with a guy that treat them like garbage/slave/trophy....

They say they want a romantic guy and go out with the first jackass they see on their way...

Yes, they make no sense.

I couldn't agree more. I mean, women habitually bestow their favours upon undeserving, uncaring men who will end up hurting them; they ignore the ones who would treat them well and be faithful, pretending that such men do not exist.

OK: I have been borderline lewd and unsubtle in the past, but mainly when intoxicated. As others have said, it is a hardwired response in a guy: some of us are just not very good at repressing it, and have to learn the hard way.

If I do not initiate a conversation with a woman I meet, there seems to be little chance that she will actually make the first move instead. Yet often enough, me trying to break the metaphoric ice (with or without whistling and leering) is seen as threatening and strange. So what should a man do?

Yes, a large group of men IS scary. But think: if you run, then everything on your body shakes -- making the men even more apt to comment!

Jogging is a good form of exercise, and - to anyone who sees you doing it - there is always the faint impression that you are trying to show off your physical fitness. This is of course compounded by how the jogger dresses... Wolf whistles and compliments in that situation can be regarded as acknowledgement of what you're trying to demonstrate: the state of your body, and your self-discipline. Why should that be insulting?

 

[Asguard]

there was a debate on the radio about wolf whisling the other day and every female who rang up said they LOVE it when a guy whisled at them. that it made them feel flattered and atractive, and that they secretly like it while they sue the pants off the guy for harassment

that says alot about females i think

 

[TruthSeeker]

I couldn't agree more. I mean, women habitually bestow their favours upon undeserving, uncaring men who will end up hurting them; they ignore the ones who would treat them well and be faithful, pretending that such men do not exist.

Yes. Oddly enough they say that they love the guy and, worse, the guy loves her...

OK: I have been borderline lewd and unsubtle in the past, but mainly when intoxicated. As others have said, it is a hardwired response in a guy: some of us are just not very good at repressing it, and have to learn the hard way.

Well... in my case I did learn the hard way. I think I even stood for a long time....!

If I do not initiate a conversation with a woman I meet, there seems to be little chance that she will actually make the first move instead. Yet often enough, me trying to break the metaphoric ice (with or without whistling and leering) is seen as threatening and strange. So what should a man do?

Yes! Exactly! They say they like guys to saying they are pretty, but if you do they repress you and sometimes even get offended and defensive! Soooo true...!

 

[Starthane Xyzth]

Would anyone call me a sexist, or a stalker, or whatever... if I suggest that Whitewolf post a picture of herself? Then we could all decide whether we would pass lecherous comment in her presence?

 

[spuriousmonkey]

I don't know about whistling because it seems a waste of time, but flirting is good (mind you, you cannot flirt alone, because it takes two to tango).

 

[buffys]

that's a myth, it actually takes 5 to tango.

 

[vslayer]

if only sex was tango, then you would get 5 chicks

 

[wesmorris]

Is it only NY men who do that?

No. Seems to me about 40% of guys or more are more than willing to belt out a cat call for a sweet ass.

Is it only American men?

No, I've seen it in other countries.

Does every guy you know do that?

No, but most of us think it. If I see a hottie, I can't help but guffaw internally a bit. It's sick. Interally I'm all "god DAMN! holy fuck I wish I could... argh. nevermind you sick fuck".

Do you do that?

Not once in my life. I AM a watcher though. I see the sweet asses for sure, I just don't say anything. Sometimes I don't even when I should (well, before getting married anyway).

Nobody in their right mind would jump on your neck if you're a stranger on the street, so why do you do it?

Guys do it because chicks dig assholes. It gets them attention from the chick. I believe the theory is that any press is good press if you know what I mean.

If a girl makes eye contact, what do you think?

It depends. If she's super hot I usually can't handle it and feel guilty and look away. A hot woman is basically porn to me before I get to know her, and it's quite embarassing to be caught looking at porn. I wouldn't treat her that way because as soon as she speaks, she becomes more than porn. Until them though, it's just fodder for the imagination.

If a girl smiles back, what do you think?

"holy fuck, I wonder what that means? is she just being friendly? could she tell I'm the nerd overlord? maybe she's down for a little bit of what I got? goddamnit man I'm married, nevermind!"

If a girl says hi, what does that mean to you?

Generally "hi". I hate to read too much into a greeting. If it's a really warm smile I might try to think of something to say, but if there's no situational opportunity for conversation I'll end up in silence. I have never once spewed a line. I've regretted it a lot too, because they freakin work to some degree. It's certainly better than silence if you're looking to meet someone, but my pride shuts my trap unless I think up something about what's going on at the time.

And, if the girl ignores you, do you find it offensive?

I just figure she doesn't dig it. That's generally the case. I know about what percent of chicks find me initially attractive so I don't get freaked out when they don't. I've sold myself short on a number of occasions though. Hindsight's a bitch.

What do you expect from a decent female after you whistle/comment?

I don't think most guys think it through that far. They probably don't consciously think about that they only expect attention. They figure they can work it out from there or when rejected, still think "yeah, she wanted me.. she's missing out" and forget about it until the next time.