The new Commandments

[RawThinkTank]

The ten commandments are not enough and are old, so here is the addition, please add more if U have some.

“Thou tShall never trust anybody”

“Thou tShall never expect anything from anybody”

“Thou tShall never take any decisions in anger”

“Thou tShall always remember that humans never change”

“Thou tShall never pray God, instead do things on their own”

 

[Alpha]

Sorry, couldn't resist. From The Heathen Bible:

The Ten Commandments

Thou shalt mind thine own fucking business, leaving thine neighbors the fuck alone and living thine own damned life.
2 When thou doest act like an intolerable hole of an ass, thou shalt not claim to do it in the name of the LORD thy God.
3 Thou shalt not prayeth over a sick child instead of taking them to a fucking doctor.
4 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's sheep.
5 Thou shalt not be chicken shit by persecuting people for being different from thee.
6 Thou shalt not travel all over hell and back attempting to force others to think and live like thee.
7 Thou shalt readeth thine Holy Book thyself from cover to cover and form thine own damned opinions about it without relying on thy shaman to tell thou only what the fucking shaman wouldst havest thou hear.
8 Thou shalt build schools, libraries and hospitals instead of steeples, alters, and television ministries for thy good deeds alone shall be the only church worthy of the LORD, thy God.
9 Thy neighbor's butt is not yours, and thou shalt not have any cause to give a flying fuck what thy neighbor chooses to place in his butt.
10 Thou mayest live in ignorance, but thou shalt not push thine vile dumbfuckness upon thy neighbor, nor thy neighbor's children, nor even thy neighbor's dog, for the LORD, thy God, is an amiable God and shalt suffer no inconsiderate assholes within His flock.

 

[mustafhakofi]

sorry raw could not resist

The Ten Amendments

Dead Sea Scrolls researchers have recently uncovered the Dead Sea Scrolls Appendix A. EAC operatives have "acquired" copies of their preliminary findings, which are presented here for the first time.
1. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. *
* Except the Virgin Mary, and all the Saints. Feel free to treat them as if they were gods.
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image.... Thou shalt not bow down thyself nor serve them...*
* Again, statuettes of Mary are exempt (especially weeping/bleeding/oozing ones), as are ornate carvings of My Son on the Cross. Oh, and pretty stained-glass windows. I like them.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain. *
* Without mitigating circumstances, such as whacking your thumb with a hammer. I've even done it Myself!
4. Remember the sabbath day to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work. *
* Preaching on a Sunday morning is exempt from this, as is running God-fearing cable-TV stations.
5. Honour thy father and thy mother that thy days may be long upon the land... *
* Jesus always sent a Mother's Day card, so you better had too!
6. Thou shalt not murder. *
* Unless it is done in My name, or I am on your side.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery. *
* Unless you're a King, in which case I give you Divine Right to do whatever the heck you like. If you get caught you can always blub in public and say that you know I forgive you.
8. Thou shalt not steal. *
* Taking 10% of the earnings of the poor to build enormous cathedrals and fill them with gold baubles is not counted as stealing.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour. *
* Unless it helps to spread My message to the infidels. Creationists - why let the facts get in the way of a good story?
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house / wife / manservant / maidservant / ox / ass. *
* It's okay to covet their mental health, peace of mind, sense of humour, intellectual integrity, rationality of thought and unmatched sexiness, even if they are hellbound atheists.

 

[Q25]

The ten commandments are not enough and are old, so here is the addition, please add more if U have some.

how about these

Cowboy Code

The Cowboy must never shoot first, hit a smaller man, or take unfair advantage.

He must never go back on his word, or a trust confided in him.

He must always tell the truth.

He must be gentle with children, the elderly, and animals.

He must not advocate or possess racially or religiously intolerant ideas.

He must help people in distress.

He must be a good worker.

He must keep himself clean in thought, speech, action, and personal habits.

He must respect women, parents, and his nations laws.

The Cowboy is a patriot.

 

[pavlosmarcos]

and yet another ten.

The Ten Commandments, updated for a modern age

• Thou shalt shut thy gob when politely asked, and not drone on endlessly.
• Thou shalt not use circular arguments, such as "God exists, because the Bible sayeth so, and the Bible is True because it is God's Word."
• Thou shalt notice when thy audience is bored rigid. See Commandment 1.
• Thou shalt not use a cop-out such as "God worketh in mysterious ways" when backed into a corner by thine own convoluted logic.
• Thou shalt use thine own imagination, and not just quote from the Bible all the time.
• Thou shalt not tell atheists what they believe, nor that thy God loveth them.
• Thou shalt not get upset by jokes about thy God. He is big enough and old enough to looketh after himself.
• Thou shalt not define how thy God worketh. Thou canst not know.
• Thou shalt not state that the Bible is consistent and hath no contradictions. Thou wouldst be a fool to doeth so.
• Thou shalt not say Grace without also thanking the farmers, truck-drivers and shopkeepers that actually did the work required to get your food to the table.