The Most Offensive Jokes Ever!!!

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Just recieved this via text:

This is a magic text. Everytime it is read, a Paki dies. So do your part and pass it on. Lets make this a white christmas.
 
I have just seen the pictures of Baby P's injuries on the internet. Is there nothing that i will not masterbate over on the internet?
 
Two fish in a tank, one turns to the other and says "How the fuck do you drive this thing!"
 
Just got back from Mumbai,
Fuck me, that hotel murder mystery weekend was a bit over the top!!
 
Following on from the terror in Mumbai, gunmen have stormed the streets of East Ham and are shooting anyone with a British passport.
Police fear the death-toll could be as high as 3.
 
With Lewis Hamilton winning the F1 championship, and Barak Obama becoming president, it is now cool to be black. I bet Michael Jackson is feeling a right cunt right now...
 
hey i got sum for ya's

whats worse than swinging a baby on a clothesline?
stopping it with a pitchfork..

2 pedophiles sitting on a park bench and a 8 yr old girl walks past, and one sez to the other "fuck she wudda bin hot in her day".

what do ya call a maori in a bmw?
thief.

what do ya call a maori in a church?
a holy shit.

how do u make a cat woof?
pour petrol on it and light it. Woof!

how do u make a dog meow?
put it through a ban saw. Meow!

my wife gets anger when i beat our son at snap, its not my fault he was born with a stutter.. <-- love that one :p

Just a poem for ya all..

There was a little girl who had a little thing,
everytime she went to bed she stuck her finger in,
now she is much older her thing has lost its charm,
now it takes five fingers and half her fucking arm!

what do ya call a maori in a letterbox?
blackmail

what do u call a maori in a river?
black currant.

maori guy takes his 12yr old daughter to the doctors to get sum contraceptive, doctor comes back puzzled, "shes only 12 are u sure shes sexually active?" maori guy sez "nah bro, she just lies there like her möther".

what do ya call a jew with a gas bottle straped to his back?
an addict.

why dont we eat ethiopian food?
coz they dont eat either.

(for those of u who dont know what a maori is, im from new zealand so its like the "native race" here. and trust me theyre worse then paki's, mexicans, abos, asians!

cheerz, love the page btw!
 
ooo another one,
what was princess diana wearing around her neck when she crashed?
the rear axle.
 
I have just seen the pictures of Baby P's injuries on the internet. Is there nothing that i will not masterbate over on the internet?
Click to expand...

That's an old punchline - Frankie Boyle used it the other day (love that guy).
 
tyrgodofwar said:
ooo another one,
what was princess diana wearing around her neck when she crashed?
the rear axle.
Click to expand...

Here's another one too:

How did the Police know Princess Diana had dandruff?



They found her head and shoulder in the windscreen.
 
TimWalden said:
Here's another one too:

How did the Police know Princess Diana had dandruff?



They found her head and shoulder in the windscreen.
Click to expand...

why did princess Diana cross the road?

because she wasent wearing her seat belt.



what did Dodi say to his friend-
"do you want to come for a ride with me and Di? " ( <- DIE incase you are a spastic and dont get it! )
 
for those of u who dont know what a maori is, im from new zealand so its like the "native race" here. and trust me theyre worse then paki's, mexicans, abos, asians!
Click to expand...

This is the thread for offensive jokes, NOT racism. Asshole.
 
is racism not offensive? i think if a maori read those jokes he wud be offended
 
Im not racist I have nothing against black people i think every household should own at least one
 
lol, ive gotta another..

Q. how do u know if a black persons pregnant?
A. shove a banana up her cunt, if it comes out half eaten u know theres another monkey living up there.. :p

that ones great, gets me everytime :p
 
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