The Howard Chronicles

[HOWARDSTERN]

http://members.tripod.com/J_Kidd/index.html


<i> And now it's time for the weekly UFO report.........

<b>by Howard/by God!!!!</b></i>




<img src="http://www.alienjoes.com/pics/sea1.jpg">


<b><i>Creature Swallows Navy Diver in Antarctic Lake? </i></b>

This is part of a conversation I had last night with my friend Bill, a down to earth ex air force man who's seen enough things to know we are not alone. Anyway, this has to do with Antarctica, it's kinda spooky, so I thought I'd share it with you.

Joe: Havent heard anything more about Lake Vostok lately. It's been hushed up.

Bill: Yeh! I noticed that.

When I was working with old navy divers working on Ice Harbor dam I heard an interesting story. They were in the Antartic diving in a secret location way below the ice. They wouldn't say where. They had one buddy that was deep and panicked when something came at him. Whatever it was got him. They said it was not a whale or shark because it was in a fresh water lake. Inland. These guys had been professional divers their whole life. Made me realize that these guys were either diving in Vostok or there is a similar place somewhere else in the Anartic that is secret. They said they refused to work any more at that location and the Navy flew them out debriefed and discharged them. But it was supposed to be quite close to McMurdo station and that is a long way from Vostok. I listened real good. As you know stories are what keep me going. Yeh! they were diving at the dam working for me. I was the forman. They were doing the underwater work on the new spillways. When they were out of the water decompressing I would chat with them and this story came out. Yeh! It rang my bell at the time. In light of the Vostok story it has renewed my interest in the conversation. Strange goings on at the bottom of the world. They said that the guy underwater said a few words. "It's horrible I don't have a chance!" and "don't come down here." before he screamed. I would like to know the real story on that one. You know that these sorts of things contain only a grain of the real facts. But these guys were so serious. And they were a couple of real serious first rate people. I'm sure about the fatality they were too serious about that.

Joe: The facility wasnt the McMurdo station, but somewhere else?

Bill: No Lake Vostok is way up in the central part of Anartica in the region the Russians have claimed. McMurdo is on the western coastline. Somewhere close to McMurdo in fresh water. I know that there is no such known place. But I'm remembering them saying something about fresh water in caves. And that it was secret. I remember the conversation started with me talking about Ham Radio and how my favorite radio contact had been with McMurdo station on CW. These two guys were real interested................
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<i> This report brought to you by Alienjoes.com</i> If anybody knows anything about being an alien, you can bet this beaner does ! ! ! !
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......AND REMEMBER!!!!...............IF YOU SEE AN ALIEN, OR HAVE VIDEO, BESURE TO CONTACT REAL HOWARD..........OR PORFIRY WILL DO IN A PINCH, BUT HE'S A GROUCHY OLD CANADIAN FART!!!!

sign sign everywhere a sign.....do this don't do that.......can't you see the sign!!!!!!!!1 <img src="http://www.alienjoes.com/pics/smile.gif">

 

[HOWARDSTERN]

<img src="http://www.spleenworld.com/apes/img/hbanner.gif">
<img src="http://www.spleenworld.com/apes/img/hissue.gif">
<img src="http://www.spleenworld.com/apes/img/htit1.gif">
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APE CITY, September --
Dr. Zaius continues to draw
high ratings from the public
for his job performance,<img src="http://www.spleenworld.com/apes/img/hzumb.gif">but
his recent acknowledgement
of a scandalous relationship
with a Ministry of Science
intern has generated indica-
tions of a darkening public
view of Zaius' character and
his personal image, as indi-
cated by the latest Ape City

Herald Poll. By varying mea- as high as its ever been.
sures, respondents indicated While his policies have met
they were bothered that Dr. with strong approval among
Zaius had engaged in an aff- most gorillas and fellow
air and then lied about it. orangutans, there have been
The public was somewhat inc- several chimpanzees who have
lined to believe that he had recently began to raise que-
encouraged intern Zana to stions regarding Ape City's
lie about the incident at stance toward the ever incr-
the Tribunal. With Dr. Maxi- easing human threat.In fact,
mus' investigation seemingly with word of a cave bombing
at no end, most residents within the Forbidden Zone,
are hoping to bring the mat- the recent hunts on herds of
ter to an end. The number of humans, some feel as though
Ape City citizens who regard Zaius is attempting to dist-
Zaius' moral values to be ract the public from the
"wallowing in the gutter," scandal through means of
as one resident puts it, is unnesisary military force

<img src="http://www.spleenworld.com/apes/img/hgraph.gif">
<img src="http://www.spleenworld.com/apes/img/hhline.gif">


<img src="http://www.spleenworld.com/apes/img/htit2.gif">

APE CITY, September -- Gorilla
forces made high cliams of success
today, for the recent hunts on local
packs of humans. Officials reported
that the attack on the humans would
disrupt the groups' feeding patterns,
and cause them to search for food
elsewhere. "They were simply eating
away our crops," General Ursus said.
"We need to defend our territories and
our crops from these pests before they
eat us out of our winter storages."
The attacks were precipitated by a
series of recent human infestations,
especially within the crop fields.
They have already caused extensive
damage to many of the crops, more so
now than they have in recent years.
Dr. Zaius, who sanctioned the attacks,
said, "They must have a nest somewhere
nearby. They keep coming and in great-
er numbers each season. We will find
this nest and exterminate them, before
they do us." Gorilla officials warn
that this is just the beginning of
such hunts, and will escalate further
until this current threat subsides

<img src="http://www.spleenworld.com/apes/img/hggun.gif">
A Gorilla solider posing for a shot after a raid.

 

[ripleofdeath]

hey howard!
ape city!
i dont get it.
whats the joke?
...is it?

ps i hate to spoil a good mystery but i have to say i just had to vote to show no response!