The Advantages of Celibacy.
I thought some of these points were amusing.
Enjoy.
1. A whole load of worries are taken off your mind. You don't even have to think about contraception, venereal disease, physical compatibility, who sleeps on the wet patch, impotence, frigidity, bizarre sexual injuries, whether to swallow, whether your partner is good in bed, sexual fidelity, how to stop the bed from creaking, shave or not shave, wash or not wash, whether you know enough positions, orgasm faking, whether to experiment or which flavour of condom to choose. This must surely free up several cubic inches of brain tissue.
2. The enormous amount of time and effort that other people expend in order to get laid is freed up for other things. No more hanging around in sweaty nightclubs. No more searching through 'lifestyle magazine' articles for the latest and cleverest way to pick someone up. No more garotting your body with tight underwear. No more worry about whether you are adequately filling out your bra/shorts. No longer will you go to a dull party just because there's someone there that you fancy.
3. People you talk to will know that you're not interested in them for their body.
4. If you don't have sex, you can't have any Sexual Disasters. None of those embarrassing moments like when you just can't undo her bra, or when you can't get out of your bondage gear, or when you knock over the bedside table, or when your parents come home earlier than you expected, or when you realise that your partner is in fact amazingly ugly, or when you smear them all over with peanut butter and them remember that you don't like peanut butter, or when you wake up the next morning and you've forgotten their name, or their gender.
5. You will save money. How much money you save depends on how you were getting your sex in the first place.
6. Nobody will be able to blackmail you with photographs of you in flagrante delicto. James Bond would be more effective if he were celibate, because then attractive enemy agents would not be able to seduce and capture him.
7. I don't believe in God myself, but there are a lot of folks out there who think that God will look on you more favourably if you are celibate, or if you avoid recreational sex. Remember "Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate."? Seriously though, celibacy may contribute to a greater peacefulness and spirituality if undertaken in the right context.
8. Celibacy significantly decreases your chances of becoming pregnant. That is, unless you're a man.
9. You have a reserve of energy that you can expend on other things. Life will come into a more sensible perspective when it isn't dominated by the search for a mate.
10. If you spontaneously combust, you don't take anyone with you.
I thought some of these points were amusing.
Enjoy.
1. A whole load of worries are taken off your mind. You don't even have to think about contraception, venereal disease, physical compatibility, who sleeps on the wet patch, impotence, frigidity, bizarre sexual injuries, whether to swallow, whether your partner is good in bed, sexual fidelity, how to stop the bed from creaking, shave or not shave, wash or not wash, whether you know enough positions, orgasm faking, whether to experiment or which flavour of condom to choose. This must surely free up several cubic inches of brain tissue.
2. The enormous amount of time and effort that other people expend in order to get laid is freed up for other things. No more hanging around in sweaty nightclubs. No more searching through 'lifestyle magazine' articles for the latest and cleverest way to pick someone up. No more garotting your body with tight underwear. No more worry about whether you are adequately filling out your bra/shorts. No longer will you go to a dull party just because there's someone there that you fancy.
3. People you talk to will know that you're not interested in them for their body.
4. If you don't have sex, you can't have any Sexual Disasters. None of those embarrassing moments like when you just can't undo her bra, or when you can't get out of your bondage gear, or when you knock over the bedside table, or when your parents come home earlier than you expected, or when you realise that your partner is in fact amazingly ugly, or when you smear them all over with peanut butter and them remember that you don't like peanut butter, or when you wake up the next morning and you've forgotten their name, or their gender.
5. You will save money. How much money you save depends on how you were getting your sex in the first place.
6. Nobody will be able to blackmail you with photographs of you in flagrante delicto. James Bond would be more effective if he were celibate, because then attractive enemy agents would not be able to seduce and capture him.
7. I don't believe in God myself, but there are a lot of folks out there who think that God will look on you more favourably if you are celibate, or if you avoid recreational sex. Remember "Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm is wasted, God gets quite irate."? Seriously though, celibacy may contribute to a greater peacefulness and spirituality if undertaken in the right context.
8. Celibacy significantly decreases your chances of becoming pregnant. That is, unless you're a man.
9. You have a reserve of energy that you can expend on other things. Life will come into a more sensible perspective when it isn't dominated by the search for a mate.
10. If you spontaneously combust, you don't take anyone with you.
