"Spider-Man 3"

superstring01

superstring01

Moderator
***SPOILERS***

Good things come in threes! Lucky Number Three. Third time's the charm!

...except Spider-Man 3.

I know that I am a fan of superlatives ("FANTASTIC!", "EXPONENTIAL", "OUTSTANDING", "HORRIFIC", DESPICABLE"), but I am plum outta' words for how.... well... HORRIBLE this movie was.

First off, let's talk about "redemption movies"-- you know, the movies where a decent guy does a bad thing, but then finds his way-- you know, like the "Dark Spiderman" or "Harry Osborne" or "The Sandman"-- all of whom are generally forgivable dudes who just wandered down the wrong path because of "circumstances" outside their control. I could write a plot better than this one, faster than you can say, "liberal agenda".

Yawn.

So-- Mary Jane is growing ever tired of Peter's ever growing fame as "Spidey". New York loves him... but hate's her. Her star is falling. She gets sick of him right before he proposes to her and runs out for god-knows-where. Along the way Peter (through unimaginably infinitesimal circumstances) just HAPPENS to be in a park when a meteorite filled with sinister goo softly plummets to the Earth**. Later, the goo clings to his motor scooter and makes it to his bedroom without much ado.

After a contrived fight with Osborne/Goblin Jr. where Harry gets amnesia and then finds his memories again, Pete gets dumped by MJ who's in the service of the Goblin Jr. but really wants him back... but doesn't... but does... OH FUCKIT... just bear with me.

Somewhere along the way Peter makes an enemy of total-asshole Eddy Brock who really, REALLY hates him (so much, that he asks the "lord" to intervene). Peter, donning the new "dark suit" becomes so powerful that he kicks Harry's "Goblin Ass" so badly that he almost kills him a second time. Peter runs around New York as a new "darker" pimp-assed dude. Gets made fun of. Sings at a nightclub (YES, I am NOT making this stuff up). Makes Mary Jane Cry. Realizes that he doesn't like who he as after Aunt May talks with him and reminds him of "who he is"... yawn.

So Peter goes to contemplate his life wile clinging to the side of a church tower. Then decides to rip off the suit, and after banging his head against a bell a couple times to "make some noise", Peter gets the suit off, which then promptly drips down the tower and COINCIDENTIALLY drops on the Peter-hating Eddy Brock standing serendipitously below. Somewhere in there a guy (who really is just a nice guy) becomes The Sandman because police manage to chase him into some thermonuclear experiment being conducted JUST OUTSIDE NEW YORK????? (Yeah) So the experiment goes on. He bonds with the sand and BAM!!! Well, he escapes and runs around New York causing havoc.... YAWWWWWWWN.

Ho-hum... Sandman and Venom unite against Spidey. Peter asks Harry for help and TELLS him again that he didn't kill his father. Harry says no. Harry has a meeting with his butler who tells him that Peter didn't kill his father. Peter goes to rescue Mary Jane from Venom and Sand Man. Harry arrives just in time to help. They beat Venom but right before beating the Sand Man, he morphs back into the "real man" and redeems himself too.

Sure, this is the abridged version. But you get the picture. THIS MOVIE SUCKED so bad that the entire audience BOO'ed at the end! I'm happy the franchise is over.


~String

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**meteorites NEVER plummet so softly. Any the size of a basketball, would explode a crater about a hundred feet across, make a deafening noise like a small nuke and would ABSOLUTELY obliterate any organic and/or quasi-organic substance contained therein.
 
Well, String, I loved the first two films, but was afraid Hollywood's knack for ruining a good thing was going to catch up with the franchise this time around. Based on your review, and what little I've read on the internet, my fears are coming true.

I can excuse some of the obvious plot devices you've mentioned (this is a comic book put to film remember), but not them all. And frankly, like yourself, I'm sick and tired of all the Spider-man villains being people who just can't help being criminals for one reason or another. That's unrealistic, defies logic and smacks of overt politics. The Sandman I remember from the comics was a bank robber, nothing more. And Venom? Venom was envy incarnate. A sort of modern-day take on the whole ancient morality play motif, where human vices were displayed through characters built around them.
 
when spiderman goes bad he actually turns into an emo kid from the 70's.i cant believe they made a joke out of his whole dark side,i thought there was going to be a good 30 min portion of spider-evil.but no,he dresses like a pussy and does "gun-fingers" at everyone.
 
When i read your revieuws and knowing it's the most expensive movie ever I must money well spend lol.

Aren't there any good writers left?

What's Spidey 4 gonna be. Mj and Peter having Babies? Allthough the bed scenes might be intresting though. Maybe he has a kinky side lol.

It's not only Spiderman. I like a good superhero movie but it is getting to much for the moment. Just like slasher-movies. It's time there where a couple of good sci-fi movies. It's been from 'Serenity' there was a good sci-fi movie;

Or maybe some Stephen King or Dean Koontz books turn to the screen.
 
What pissed me off, was the image of spidey here swinging with the american flag in full breeze and illuminated at night. Dude, I though Superheroes were something international, but that just ruined the entire thing for me.
 
I saw it yesterday and I was bored. To be honest I'm not a fan of the first two films so I wasn't expecting too much, but even so it sucked big time.
Roll on F4 Rise of The Silver Surfer!
 
This movie was deficient in every plot device it produced. Much of it goes on unexplained...They put the most minimum effort into this movie and it showed.
 
Are you all mad?! WTF are you talking about the movie makes perfect sense, infact it's even better than the other 2 before it!

Let me expand on this...

Venom wasn't placed in the same character as the comics, the original Venom came down with that Astronaut that wanted to marry MJ in #2. They opted out for that because it would've made the storyline to large for 1 movie alone, thus they made up the story of Venom coming down on an asteroid, which in theory isn't impossible since they found him on one to begin with. So fuck off dorks you know this is still freaking cool as hell!

Next is your ranting about the things left open, ummm what things? They closed every damn plot they started, every one! Are you kidding?

Also it's important to realize, Peter even in the original comics wasn't some bad ass with the Venom suit, he was still goofy and stuff but just darker.. the movie almost exactly paralleled what the comics feel is, he wasn't a killer but not actually the same either.

The movie is amazing, it's worth paying anything to go see, I'm confused what you are smoking?

Broc was a mean gerk and deserved to suffer, I hope he is dead forever!

Now the thing I was pissed with is MJ, she's a little bitch for leaving Peter and making him suffer, so he kissed a girl who cares?

You see what happens here men, when a girls doing well she'll be nice and bang you, then if things don't go her way she'll go after your best friend and try him! Beware!
 
From superstring's review (I haven't watched the movie yet) it seems to me that Venom's development was fairly close to comic and tv-cartoon 'canon'. Sandman however wasn't...ah well.
 
I have only seen the first one, and that was OK, but seriously, This one the acting seemed a bit off......
Also It was so Goddamned Cliched, more so than any other movie i've seen, even shooter.
 
I wouldn't bother closely analysing the plot for a comic book movie that involves a kid with super powers from radioactive spider bite and a man completely made of sand.

You have to bear in mind that they have tried to put in a couple of decades of comic book storylines into one movie. I thought they brought it all together quite well.

Yes there are a few very cheesy scenes. Spidey in front of the US flag was a bit sickening.

Overall though it is a pretty good movie. If you liked the first two you will like this.
 
Saw Spidey 3 and I don't really see what the beef is about. I understand limitations of porting from comics (virtually limitless time to develop origins and plots) to movies (maximum of 2.5 hours to do the same).

That being said, comic fans would appreciate that Venom is an outerspace symbiont. The fact that the Venom entity didn't go thru the whole space shuttle trip etc is immaterial in terms of the movie. Outside of this, the Brock-Venom origin kinda follows, since it WAS Brock who becomes Venom anyways...again the producers shorten the origin storyline for the silver screen - understandable.

Sandman in my opinion was developed much better than in the cartoon. I never really took Sandman seriously in the Spidey cartoon, but the movie showed how powerful Sandman could really be. Didn't like the 'continuity' with Uncle Ben, but it works for tying in the movies. His movie origin is somewhat contrived, however it's not a thermonuclear experiment. That machine was basically a souped up centrifuge, probably an experimental machine to break down raw materials.

As for the emotion...well, humanizing these heroes seems to be a trend, and the Spidey 3 writers/producers did it well. Tobey Macguire however looks odd when he cries. Makes it a little more difficult to empathize with the character.

I thought the movie was well executed, with understandable shortening of the comics, and a few "cheesy" scenes (like the Spidey in front the US flag shot, I think half the audience in the cinema I was in grumbled - I think those guys did it on purpose just to cause a stir; after the Superman Returns - "American Way" brouhaha).

Final word: go see it. I always say ignore the naysayers and watch the movie yourself if you're a fan. Spidey 3 is worth it, even if you go just to see some gratuitous superhero-supervillian fighting.
 
Those of you who mentioned "the American flag thing" were right. It was so cheesy. PLEASE tell me they cut that for international audiences? (perhaps substituting the Union Jack for in front of their UN embassy for the Brits, the Tricolor for the French, etc)

~String
 
darksidZz said:
Are you all mad?! WTF are you talking about the movie makes perfect sense, infact it's even better than the other 2 before it!
Click to expand...
Not by a long shot. This movie was filled with happenstance and ill thought plot devices.

Let me expand on this...
Click to expand...
this should be good...

Venom wasn't placed in the same character as the comics, the original Venom came down with that Astronaut that wanted to marry MJ in #2. They opted out for that because it would've made the storyline to large for 1 movie alone, thus they made up the story of Venom coming down on an asteroid, which in theory isn't impossible since they found him on one to begin with. So fuck off dorks you know this is still freaking cool as hell!
Click to expand...

I don't care about the divergence from the comic.
This is the first happenstance plot device. What's wrong with that. well when you string alot of happenstance plot devices together the story becomes unbelieveable.

Next is your ranting about the things left open, ummm what things? They closed every damn plot they started, every one! Are you kidding?
Click to expand...

I'm guessing you were okay with the open plot devices...and lack of explanation.

Also it's important to realize, Peter even in the original comics wasn't some bad ass with the Venom suit, he was still goofy and stuff but just darker.. the movie almost exactly paralleled what the comics feel is, he wasn't a killer but not actually the same either.
Click to expand...

actually he was bad @ss...or as bad as the Peter Parker character gets.
 
It was about as lame as superhero movies get... except for maybe Spiderman 2.
 
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