Relationships Advisor

TruthSeeker

TruthSeeker

Fancy Virtual Reality Monkey
Valued Senior Member
Here I am! The Relationship Advisor... :D:D:D
Talking about what I'm specialized in...

Love

Anyone who needs help in a relationship of any kind can ask me questions... ;)

Definition of a Healthy Relationship

"A Healthy Relationship is one where the LOVE for each other surpasses the NEED for each other"

Dalai Lama


Love,
Nelson
 
Okay, I'll give it a shot:

I was abandoned by my parents at a very early age, and raised in a box. Then I was married off to an insulting little brat, but I beat him up and was arrested. Then I was transformed into a love-slave for my crime, but before the transformation was complete a bunch of these nasty lizard-things attacked....so now I am part lizard, which gives me unnatural strenght...oh yeah, and I have a very high libido too.

Anyways, I escaped on a giant genetically modified bug-spaceship the size of Manhatten (are you still reading this, Nelson? You aren't going to run away like those other relationship counselers?) and fly around.

In any case, my relationships with men are horrible. They are either animated corpses, absolutly evil rulers of planets, or get killed.

So, I am in love with a 6000-year old animated corpse (are you still reading?), who was once a hero but was transformed into a soul-less assasain. Then he became good, but he does not feel emotion or sexual desire.

So, what should I do?
 
A really really cute doctor?

Terminal? In that I am in love with a corpse?

"Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease"
 
WARNING - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING

If anyone reads this thread and thinks that truthseeker is a real relationships adviser then be warned, nothing could be further from the truth.

Following his advice could present a real danger to your mental health.

Stay clear and stay healthy.
 
"A Healthy Relationship is one where the LOVE for each other surpasses the NEED for each other"

How can this be a bad advice...?

Love,
Nelson
 
Well apart from being somewhat ambiguous it isn't too bad, but the important thing is that it isn't YOUR advice.
 
And when is your hour up, or have you sneeked onto the computer without anyone knowing?
 
I wonder if I could obtain an official warning from the Surgeon General just like on cigarette packets?
 
Cris,

Well apart from being somewhat ambiguous it isn't too bad, but the important thing is that it isn't YOUR advice.
Click to expand...

Mine are based on this one and other good ones...
Besides that, I prefer to answer questions instead of talking about it...

And when is your hour up, or have you sneeked onto the computer without anyone knowing?
Click to expand...

Yes... :D

Actually... as today is not school day, they let me stay a little bit more... ;)


Xev,

I can give advice like that too - and I am not an expert!
Click to expand...
Lots more to come...
Remember that my Philosophy is based on Love!

Ego, Nelson, ego!
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Just trying to help people in the way I do better...

That's why I "retired"... :D

Love,
Nelson
 
Xev,

Yeah, but how about when people start asking sex questions? Is that another base of TRUTH?
Click to expand...

Yes... and you reminded me about a thread I would start about it! Thanks! :)

*Wordlessly hands Nelson a gold watch*
Click to expand...

*Pointing gun to the head, asking for the diamont ring*
:D

Love,
Nelson
 
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