I edited your quoted post so you did make it go away.
You should consider spiritual armor before you continue.
I am well aware of this...I am left wondering how much this has to do with the vast mix of things I am involved with, from the Mind Portal, to my spiritual practices, to my tampering with ritual on the day of the solstice...which was the day before it happened, I was in a dark forest, one with a history of war and suicide, I drank one bottle of cheap wine and played my guitar making many mistakes to some of the songs I made up, at one point it was so dark I couldn't even see my nose...
On one side of the path there is a forest, on the other side there is are bushes. At some point I hear something jumping around from tree to tree, like a big monkey....but there are no monkeys in this part of the planet, and humans don't move through trees like that, it was eerie, gave me chills. On the other side I heard music, like fairy music or something, extremely beautiful and too intricate and delicate to be anything man made (nothing on earth could make sounds like that). I stood listening to the music for some time, forgetting about the thing jumping around behind me...then I remembered as I heard it get closer...so I walked slowly out of the forest playing my guitar...I did not run even though I felt like it...
That was the solstice of 2006.
My feelings tell me its a mix...the why. I am currently in the act of trying to understand it, and the means to do so are not easy...again it's most likely a mix of events and proceedings...
On a side note I am going back into the portal, determined to go further this time then my 23 day record, and past experience has taught me how crucial stability is during this process, the mind charges up and can unleash energies for or against itself as this happens. My instincts tell me it will be an important part of the mix up, and they also tell me this isn't over.
Dropping all my bad habits isn't enough, I have to bolster myself with every resource I can think of, so I will be forging my spirit to make certain that if I do trigger another cross over I am much better prepared...maybe...just maybe I will end up in a place where if there are inhabitants, they are friendly and helpful...that would be nice!