Not sure if anybody's considered it but just like in the real world it is necessary to review the performance of senior management.
This is a meeting of the board of directors, each of us equal partners, where we will evaluate the performance of the CEO (God). Please feel free to comment and grade each category fairly and unbiased. When you have completed your remarks I would ask all of you to select a grade(A to F) for the category, A+ for success, B for somewhat successful, C for needs improvement, D for abyssmal, E for borderline catastrophe and F for failure. Other comments and recommendations are also welcome.
Attendance: Hard to put a value on this one. For an omnipresent, He doesn't appear to be there. Its been such a very long time since a documented sighting that there are rumblings He may be dead or not caring. Even believers are scrambling in a valiant effort to validate His existence...... Grade C-
Attitude: Continues to operate with the issuance of threats. A good tool for maintaining control over a person's actions but does not appear to have the same impact as in past years. Still quite effective for the fearful but recent changes in technology, such as internet forums, have reduced the wallop threats once possessed. .....Grade B-
Behavior: More mysterious than ever. Appears as if He's becoming more withdrawn and one gets the feeling He is acting childish and sulking in seclusion. Reclusive, seemingly removed from the situation. Not sure if He is planning a massive surprise campaign to resecure His control or at least get it back to some semblance post flood......Grade D
Skills
Organizational: Still hasn't managed to get all the people under the same doctrine. At least 3 major religions are still not quite sure whether to agree that their God is one and the same. Mass chaos and hate, followed by devastating wars have been the norm as a result.....Grade F
Management: Despite the commandments, the people of Earth are like a ship without a rudder. Combine this with His continuing ongoing feud with Satan and lawlessness pervades. Final Judgement is starting to appear to be a very archaic system for gaining entrance into Heaven. Although His attempt to modify it with the introduction of messiahs and prophets did break down some of the barriers, by allowing souls to beg for forgiveness and to accept personal saviors, it did not alleviate the fear factor. Grade C
Communication: Poor to say the least. Lousy attendance being a contributing factor. Outdated holy books that are unable to keep up with the changing times are made even more unreliable with the advent of offshoot religious sects, each with differing interpretations. Prayer is the land line of choice but one has to wonder if God is picking up the phone. Maybe voice mail would help. The people are still unsure as to whether freewill is the real deal and there is growing evidence that He is meddling with that edict....Grade E
People: Major breakdown here. No people skills whatsoever. How long can the fear of God go on. Its time for a new approach. How about mingling with the people, making yourself seen and heard, showing some of that love. Its a new dawn. Trashing the Apocalypse as the ultimate fear weapon wouldn't hurt....Grade D
Miracles: Its time for a rethink. Virgin Mary images, bleeding crucifixes and lactating statuettes are all very nice but have run their course. Some real voodoo would at least convince people that He's working and on the job....Grade B-
Comments: We the people have been put in a very dangerous situation. Not so bad when ordinary people banter freely and friendly over doctrine but it has come to the point where the madness confusion created has reached political leaders. I believe that if He is interfering with things because He couldn't leave well enough alone then it is time to enter the arena once again and regain some long lost love, recognition and popularity.
Overall rating: D
This is a meeting of the board of directors, each of us equal partners, where we will evaluate the performance of the CEO (God). Please feel free to comment and grade each category fairly and unbiased. When you have completed your remarks I would ask all of you to select a grade(A to F) for the category, A+ for success, B for somewhat successful, C for needs improvement, D for abyssmal, E for borderline catastrophe and F for failure. Other comments and recommendations are also welcome.
Attendance: Hard to put a value on this one. For an omnipresent, He doesn't appear to be there. Its been such a very long time since a documented sighting that there are rumblings He may be dead or not caring. Even believers are scrambling in a valiant effort to validate His existence...... Grade C-
Attitude: Continues to operate with the issuance of threats. A good tool for maintaining control over a person's actions but does not appear to have the same impact as in past years. Still quite effective for the fearful but recent changes in technology, such as internet forums, have reduced the wallop threats once possessed. .....Grade B-
Behavior: More mysterious than ever. Appears as if He's becoming more withdrawn and one gets the feeling He is acting childish and sulking in seclusion. Reclusive, seemingly removed from the situation. Not sure if He is planning a massive surprise campaign to resecure His control or at least get it back to some semblance post flood......Grade D
Skills
Organizational: Still hasn't managed to get all the people under the same doctrine. At least 3 major religions are still not quite sure whether to agree that their God is one and the same. Mass chaos and hate, followed by devastating wars have been the norm as a result.....Grade F
Management: Despite the commandments, the people of Earth are like a ship without a rudder. Combine this with His continuing ongoing feud with Satan and lawlessness pervades. Final Judgement is starting to appear to be a very archaic system for gaining entrance into Heaven. Although His attempt to modify it with the introduction of messiahs and prophets did break down some of the barriers, by allowing souls to beg for forgiveness and to accept personal saviors, it did not alleviate the fear factor. Grade C
Communication: Poor to say the least. Lousy attendance being a contributing factor. Outdated holy books that are unable to keep up with the changing times are made even more unreliable with the advent of offshoot religious sects, each with differing interpretations. Prayer is the land line of choice but one has to wonder if God is picking up the phone. Maybe voice mail would help. The people are still unsure as to whether freewill is the real deal and there is growing evidence that He is meddling with that edict....Grade E
People: Major breakdown here. No people skills whatsoever. How long can the fear of God go on. Its time for a new approach. How about mingling with the people, making yourself seen and heard, showing some of that love. Its a new dawn. Trashing the Apocalypse as the ultimate fear weapon wouldn't hurt....Grade D
Miracles: Its time for a rethink. Virgin Mary images, bleeding crucifixes and lactating statuettes are all very nice but have run their course. Some real voodoo would at least convince people that He's working and on the job....Grade B-
Comments: We the people have been put in a very dangerous situation. Not so bad when ordinary people banter freely and friendly over doctrine but it has come to the point where the madness confusion created has reached political leaders. I believe that if He is interfering with things because He couldn't leave well enough alone then it is time to enter the arena once again and regain some long lost love, recognition and popularity.
Overall rating: D