Some funny explanations to some of the Christian cliches that we hear every weekend morning from the missionaries. Next time they stop at your house to preach, or mention them on sciforums, remember them, it'll sure put a smile on your face. Just make sure to let the poor souls in the house in this cold time of the year.
They say:"YOU WERE NEVER REALLY SAVED IN THE FIRST PLACE" (Responding to ex-Christians)
They mean: I can't allow myself to believe that you were ever a born again Christian. If you left Christianity, it follows that I am capable of leaving too. It would destroy the very foundation of my beliefs.
They say "SOMEONE IN THE CHURCH MUST HAVE CAUSED YOU A GREAT DEAL OF HURT FOR YOU TO FEEL THIS WAY"
They mean: You couldn't have possibly left Christianity just because you studied the Bible and you think you found inconsistencies and errors in it.
They say: "YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND THE THINGS OF THE LORD IF HIS SPIRIT DOESN'T DWELL WITHIN YOU"
They mean: I'm special. I'm saved. I understand spiritual things now because I have become spiritual. You don't understand. You're not saved! You're not spiritual like me.
You can understand spiritual things too once you ask Christ to come into you heart (...and spend a couple of years allowing me and the other brethren to condition your mind daily to think the same way we do).
They say: "BE NOT UNEQUALLY YOKED"
They mean: It is not good to be exposed to people whose opinions or knowledge opposes my beliefs. It may cause me to start thinking rather than rely wholly on the Bible and/or my pastor.
Now if and you (will) get annoyed and tell them that you don't think that these ideas fit you, they'll politely tell you
"SALVATION IS OBVIOUSLY A VERY SORE SUBJECT FOR YOU - YOU ARE SO FULL OF HATE AND CONTEMPT"
They mean: Your arguments against born again fundamentalism make sense. I'll have to change the focus of our discussion.
They say:"YOU WERE NEVER REALLY SAVED IN THE FIRST PLACE" (Responding to ex-Christians)
They mean: I can't allow myself to believe that you were ever a born again Christian. If you left Christianity, it follows that I am capable of leaving too. It would destroy the very foundation of my beliefs.
They say "SOMEONE IN THE CHURCH MUST HAVE CAUSED YOU A GREAT DEAL OF HURT FOR YOU TO FEEL THIS WAY"
They mean: You couldn't have possibly left Christianity just because you studied the Bible and you think you found inconsistencies and errors in it.
They say: "YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND THE THINGS OF THE LORD IF HIS SPIRIT DOESN'T DWELL WITHIN YOU"
They mean: I'm special. I'm saved. I understand spiritual things now because I have become spiritual. You don't understand. You're not saved! You're not spiritual like me.
You can understand spiritual things too once you ask Christ to come into you heart (...and spend a couple of years allowing me and the other brethren to condition your mind daily to think the same way we do).
They say: "BE NOT UNEQUALLY YOKED"
They mean: It is not good to be exposed to people whose opinions or knowledge opposes my beliefs. It may cause me to start thinking rather than rely wholly on the Bible and/or my pastor.
Now if and you (will) get annoyed and tell them that you don't think that these ideas fit you, they'll politely tell you
"SALVATION IS OBVIOUSLY A VERY SORE SUBJECT FOR YOU - YOU ARE SO FULL OF HATE AND CONTEMPT"
They mean: Your arguments against born again fundamentalism make sense. I'll have to change the focus of our discussion.