Meanings
- Thread starter whitewolf
- Start date
No.
I think if someone makes a foolish mistake and sincerely wants to be
forgiven then that person should be given the opportunity to apologize. If
you don't allow that to happen that only shows that you aren't human
enough to let someone try to make amends for their foolishness which
makes you just about as foolish as they are. They only want to get back on
your good side and if you don't want them around you and you feel they
aren't sincere that's the only time to reject their apology.
I look at human actions differently. I recognize that we do what we do for a reason, we want to do it. We take our big steps with intention and desire and if we trot over someone else's concerns we aren't truly sorry because we got what we wanted. I say this in regards to adults. Children do things without foresight because, naturally, they lack experience; consequently, results of their actions are often a surprise to them. Children are weak though. Also, adults are unlikely to change their habits or character; if they do something once, you can bet they'll do it again and they're not truly sorry. I see refusal to apologise as ability to admit one's intentions to oneself and others, as admirable level of honesty. I am not sorry that I was late to meet a guy because I was busy making myself pretty for him, and he's not as upset with the end result as he would've been if I would've rushed.
I often see pity as an insult; however, I can't help but feel bad for some people at times. I don't feel pity towards people I dislike or used to dislike. I feel pity for people whom I like very much. When people say they are sorry and mean it, I see it as "conquered repugnance."
So if I were late to pick my wife up and told her that I was sorry that I was
late because I had to stop and help a car accident victim then that
wouldn't be acceptable to you as well? Sometimes adults make errors in
judgement and it isn't intentional as you think it maybe. If a adult does
something foolish like spill a drink on someone else and says that he's sorry,
don't you think that he really is? Or do you think he goes around spilling
drinks on everyone all the time just to give fake appoligies?
Then you are only talking about whether or not you would apologise for a deliberate action, where you feel you have taken in to account all of the consequences.
This is an entirely different scenario to apologising for accidents (breaking a vase for not realising your shoe-laces were untied).
Your opening post is too vague if you want to concentrate on deliberate, thought-out actions.
The first quote came from a movie I haven't watched, so I don't know the context in which the words were said. I don't want to put them into a wrong context; but I estimate that it's safe to assume the quote refers to deliberate actions.
What actions are not deliberate? What's an accident? If you rushed into the subway car, you thought that possible presence of other people is negligible, so if you stepped on someone's toes it's not a true accident. When a child says he is sorry, he means (or ought to mean) that he'll never do it again. The same can not be said about an adult who is in a rush to get somewhere, didn't notice you, and pushed you; next time he'll be in a rush he'll push someone again.
Is that an error in judgment? Would it be better to not help the victim and rush to pick up the wife instead?
What actions are not deliberate? What's an accident? If you rushed into the subway car, you thought that possible presence of other people is negligible, so if you stepped on someone's toes it's not a true accident. When a child says he is sorry, he means (or ought to mean) that he'll never do it again. The same can not be said about an adult who is in a rush to get somewhere, didn't notice you, and pushed you; next time he'll be in a rush he'll push someone again.
Is that an error in judgment? Would it be better to not help the victim and rush to pick up the wife instead?
Ah - okay - in your example the person doing the pushing is NOT apologising, but merely trying to placate any reaction.
Further - apologising is not necessarily saying that you won't do it again, just merely offering an excuse / reason / defence for one's actions that have harmed another.
I think it is quite normal to explain to someone why you have harmed them, whether you meant it or not.
Many times I have said "Sorry - but X, Y, Z."
The "Sorry" is to show that I do feel for their hurt / pain (i.e. I am sympathetic), but the "X, Y, Z" is explaining why I did what I did - and based on the overall assessment of risk / reward I would determine whether I would probably do the same thing again or not.
Its better to apologise, and show your feelings and that you care and regret whatever caused the apology, than to not. I would be of the opinion that if someone owed an apology and never did, they would be extremely arrogant and pointedly rude.
Heya whitewolf, ... great thread
I think you're talkin about somethin else here that I hate to pity you for not admitting
Maybe not.
Aaaaaaaaanywayyyyy... Yeah, great thread:
"Don't apologise, Mister - it's a sign of weakness."
"Pity signifies a conquered repugnance."
I agree.
Really depends though.
One appologises for example (to bring a case to point), he/she is basically saying the person to which he is appologising to has given him a certain weakness, so sure; can happen. Actually it's pretty obvious.
And pity. Yeah. Pity is a shame.
Depends though, I mean, how you view it.
On a high level of morality absolutely pity is almost always or next to never not signifigant when it comes to repugnance.
Anyway, just some thoughts *cough-HOTTIEcough*
I think you're talkin about somethin else here that I hate to pity you for not admitting
Maybe not.
Aaaaaaaaanywayyyyy... Yeah, great thread:
"Don't apologise, Mister - it's a sign of weakness."
"Pity signifies a conquered repugnance."
I agree.
Really depends though.
One appologises for example (to bring a case to point), he/she is basically saying the person to which he is appologising to has given him a certain weakness, so sure; can happen. Actually it's pretty obvious.
And pity. Yeah. Pity is a shame.
Depends though, I mean, how you view it.
On a high level of morality absolutely pity is almost always or next to never not signifigant when it comes to repugnance.
Anyway, just some thoughts *cough-HOTTIEcough*