Believe it or not, I simply made the decision that I don't want stress in my life anymore and it went away.
I had to hit rock-bottom before making that decision, however.
For years I was classic Type-A.
Working 60+ hours a week in a stressful job (stressful by choice, to keep from being bored)...
Racing my car at speeds over 130 MPH...
(Out-running the cops when they saw me
)
Purposely putting myself in the way of danger. I remember one time being chased through the streets of NYC in my car at high speeds by a guy with a gun, and I LOVED it!
I lost my driver's license in three states (and kept getting caught driving when the out-running failed).
I stole cars and things for a while in my teens.
Joined the Army for a little while.
I did whatever I could to get the adrenaline rush of putting myself in difficult situations and pushing my limits.
Mounting depression in conjunction with this led me to a sort of mini nervous break-down.
I laid in bed for a week, not sleeping (though not exactly awake, either) and didn't have the will or strength to get out at all.
I didn't eat, or go to the bathroom the whole time.
I spent about a year or two figting the urge to kill myself every day.
Anyway...
Cleaning up the mess of my life after straightening my head up was the most stressful of it all
.
$30,000 in lawyer fees and fines.
A police record.
Mounting debt.
Difficulty finding a job.
Living in my mother's damp unfinished basement.
Girlfriend trouble after girlfriend trouble.
I was going nuts and getting nowhere!
I decided that the whole stress thing wasn't for me anymore.
So one day, I just decided that I wasn't going to stress over anything anymore.
It was really as simple as that.
I just thought to myself, "It's not worth it. Stressing over it doesn't make it better. The situation stays the same, and my capacity to deal with it is diminished so the stress just feeds itself and gets worse. I don't feel any better. My life will never recover. Life is simply passing me by because I don't have the time, energy, patience or even the inclination to enjoy all the simple important things in life because I was focusing on all the meaningless bullshit."
So I spent some time evaluating what truly was and was not important to me in life.
I focused some intensive introspection and re-evaluation of everything I ever valued and believed about life.
Everything else is really not important at all and not worth worrying over.
Through this process I also realized that the things that truly
were important were also not worth worrying over either.
If I can't change it, dwelling on it just makes me suffer more. Instead, I focus on what my options are to deal with the situation and focus on that.
If I can change it, worrying (like I said earlier) simply diminshed my capacity to effectively and productively deal with the situation at hand and only serves to make it worse.
Now, I just don't worry anymore.
Not that I am always happy.
Not at all.
I still have a very dark and cynical side.
I just don't want stress, so I don't accept it.