Man picks his nose and finds a pearl

Ed Anger

Registered Member
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Lucky Nester Franco couldn’t believe his eyes when he stuck a finger in his nose to remove an obstruction -- and pulled out a fully formed pearl!

“My wife is always asking me if I’m digging for gold up there,” says the drywall finisher from Conway, Ark.

“When I showed her the pearl, she fainted. When I had it appraised at $7,000, she fainted again!”

Both medical doctors and marine scientists are as amazed as the couple that a precious gem -- which, analysis proves, was formed from human mucus -- developed in Franco’s nose.

“Naturally occurring pearls require a precise combination of elements and relatively long periods of time to develop inside mollusks,” explains Miami-based marine biologist Dr. Gregory Hickens. “Technically, there’s no reason a pearl can’t develop in a hu-man in or around mucus-producing membranes.

“But needless to say, it’s quite rare.

“And to see one of such high quality come from a person’s nose is truly remarkable.”

Franco’s doctor, who, fearing a media onslaught, asked that his name not be used in reports, confirmed that the man had been battling an upper-respiratory infection for months before he found the pearl.

“Nester had a fever and sinus pressure,” says the doctor.

“Now we know his body created the pearl and then reacted as if it were an obstruction and an infection.”

Franco is planning to sell the huge gem and use the money to splurge a little.

“My old lady’s been begging for some new lawn furniture,” says Franco. “And I’ve had my eye on a bass boat.

“The jeweler who appraised the pearl called it ‘flawless’ and said it’s easily worth $6,000 to $7,000 on the open market.

“He also said if we find the right buyer, somebody who wants the pearl not just as a gem, but for its unusual background, we might get as much as $10,000 for it.”

As for Franco’s nose picking? “I’ve suffered with my sinuses for so long I’m not in a hurry to dig anything else out of there,” says Franco. “Pulling that darn thing from my nose just about killed me.”
 
New meaning to the phrases..

Are ya diggin for gold?
or
Picking a winner?
or
Hey, suga booga!:D
 
I met a woman from upstate NY that grew pearls all over here body but particularly her arms. A rare form of sebborhea was diagnosed as the cause but in her case I know it was not a hoax. The pearls were not appraised however since no one had the imagination to do such a thing.
 
GEW!!! How is that possible?!? What is sebborhea? They're not ACTUALLY pearls are they?
 
I met somebody once who's ass what so tight that if they ate coal, they shit diamonds.
 
It is too a true story

If it weren't true, Weekly World News wouldn't print it.:mad: Besides, I've seen the pearl.
 
Just so goofy it just might work..

"High-ho, high-ho, it's off the work I go!"

*grabs a pickaxe*

"It's pearl-harvesting time! Hold your head still, would ya?"

*raises the pickaxe high over head...*

:D
 
(blue you're a fucking riot, I hope you know this)

Funny story. I bought the VERY tabloid with this article in it (which has a picture of the digger-for-gold much, much larger than the one on sciforums) for incandescent, comedic pleasure during the drive home and when my dad saw the image he suggested that we cut it out and post it on the back of the car (next to a large picture of a dog).

Plus I believe Ed Anger is the alias of one of the writers of the tabloid. I swear to god the stuff they publish there is just amazingly funny, I don't believe for a second that anyone in their organization takes their product seriously.
 
www.weeklyworldnews.com

Thank you for your support<img src="http://images.weeklyworldnews.com/images/30687.jpg">
 
Hey, this thread reminds me of the mom in "so I married an axe murderer." Time to indulge in some cheap lowbrow entertainment...
 
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