I was preparing for a drunken easter weekend with some dudes when I had this kinda funny idea, and I just thought I'd inflict it on you people too.
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INTERVIEWER: "So, John Leonnon, former Beatle, you claim it was actually you who killed Jimmy Hoffa. Care to elaborate?"
JOHN LENNON: "Well, it's not as cheap and nasty as you make it sound, man. He blamed Yoko."
INTERVIEWER: "Huh?"
JOHN LENNON: "Well, you know, we were having tiddley winks and listening to some Rolling Stones, and he says, this git says, 'Hey, do you think you guys would still be touring if Yoko hadn't turned up?' So, you know, I hit 'im."
INTERVIEWER: "You hit him, and he died. You're telilng me you hit Jimmy Hoffa and killed him."
JOHN LENNON: "Well, I hit 'im with a guitar."
INTERVIEWER: "You hit Jimmy Hoffa with your guitar and killed him."
JOHN LENNON: "Nah, it was Paul's guitar."
INTERVIEWER: "Jimmy Hoffa. You killed him with Paul McCartney's guitar because he blamed the breakup of the Beatles on Yoko Ono. Is this what you're saying?"
JOHN LENNON: "Man, don't put words in my mouth! Geez! Look, it's like this. Jimmy Hoffa was working for the CIA. They wanted to trim the power fo the big companies, you see, like that American phone company, so they started juicing up the unions to clip their ears a bit. That's where Jimmy Hoffa came in."
INTERVIEWER: "And this has what exactly to do with Yoko Ono?"
JOHN LENNON: "Well, that's exactly what I'm saying, man! He was CIA! They know EVERYTHING! So if he knows everything, why did he come in 'ere mouthing off about Yoko, eh? Just starting trouble that was."
INTERVIEWER: "So you killed him."
JOHN LENNON: "With Paul's guitar."
INTERVIEWER: "Paul McCartney's guitar."
JOHN LENNON: "Yeah. He left it here the Tuesday before. Left in a hurry to catch some bird he saw out the front. Didn't speak to me for six months after that. He loved that guitar."
INTERVIEWER: "All right. You killed Jimmy Hoffa with Paul McCartney's guitar. It wasn't the breakup of the band that made Paul not speak to you for half a year; it was breaking that guitar. Okay. So why did the Beatles break up?"
JOHN LENNON: "Well, it's obvious, isn't it? The CIA were sending spies around to me house. Look at Hoffa, eh? And Yoko, you know, she can pick 'em. One look at Ringo, and she knew. That nose isn't real at all."
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INTERVIEWER: "So, John Leonnon, former Beatle, you claim it was actually you who killed Jimmy Hoffa. Care to elaborate?"
JOHN LENNON: "Well, it's not as cheap and nasty as you make it sound, man. He blamed Yoko."
INTERVIEWER: "Huh?"
JOHN LENNON: "Well, you know, we were having tiddley winks and listening to some Rolling Stones, and he says, this git says, 'Hey, do you think you guys would still be touring if Yoko hadn't turned up?' So, you know, I hit 'im."
INTERVIEWER: "You hit him, and he died. You're telilng me you hit Jimmy Hoffa and killed him."
JOHN LENNON: "Well, I hit 'im with a guitar."
INTERVIEWER: "You hit Jimmy Hoffa with your guitar and killed him."
JOHN LENNON: "Nah, it was Paul's guitar."
INTERVIEWER: "Jimmy Hoffa. You killed him with Paul McCartney's guitar because he blamed the breakup of the Beatles on Yoko Ono. Is this what you're saying?"
JOHN LENNON: "Man, don't put words in my mouth! Geez! Look, it's like this. Jimmy Hoffa was working for the CIA. They wanted to trim the power fo the big companies, you see, like that American phone company, so they started juicing up the unions to clip their ears a bit. That's where Jimmy Hoffa came in."
INTERVIEWER: "And this has what exactly to do with Yoko Ono?"
JOHN LENNON: "Well, that's exactly what I'm saying, man! He was CIA! They know EVERYTHING! So if he knows everything, why did he come in 'ere mouthing off about Yoko, eh? Just starting trouble that was."
INTERVIEWER: "So you killed him."
JOHN LENNON: "With Paul's guitar."
INTERVIEWER: "Paul McCartney's guitar."
JOHN LENNON: "Yeah. He left it here the Tuesday before. Left in a hurry to catch some bird he saw out the front. Didn't speak to me for six months after that. He loved that guitar."
INTERVIEWER: "All right. You killed Jimmy Hoffa with Paul McCartney's guitar. It wasn't the breakup of the band that made Paul not speak to you for half a year; it was breaking that guitar. Okay. So why did the Beatles break up?"
JOHN LENNON: "Well, it's obvious, isn't it? The CIA were sending spies around to me house. Look at Hoffa, eh? And Yoko, you know, she can pick 'em. One look at Ringo, and she knew. That nose isn't real at all."