Jesus versus Mary Magdalene

L

lixluke

Refined Reinvention
Valued Senior Member
Some people try to say that Jesus and Mary Magdalene were married.
Also that they had children, and their dscendents live on until today.

Let's set the historical records straight. Jesus and Mary Magdalene were never a married couple. Through deep archeological research, studying the various manuscripts and evidence presented from the time of Jesus is important. From the vast amounts of analysis on this subject, and the in-depth observation of important ancient material with the use of the scientific method, scientists, historians, and world renound scholars have come to important conclusions. All of the substantial material points to one important fact. That Jesus was indeed Mary Magdalene's pimp. He slapped her many times for not having enough money. Now that we understand the truth, we must pray in gratitude for the great wisdom.
 
you need to pray for help with your english skillz.

don't bad mouth anyone's savior without some links, evidence, etc. you chode.
 
Let's set the historical records straight. Jesus and Mary Magdalene were never a married couple.
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What makes you think that?
Through deep archeological research, studying the various manuscripts and evidence presented from the time of Jesus is important.
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Studying the various historical manuscripts and evidence is important, which is something you seem to have not done.
 
They were in love. Unfortunately Jesus may have been killed before they had a chance to marry, but maybe he did fool the Romans and run off to the south of France with her.
 
Lol!

I love the end of what seemed to be a boring and useless topic. Funny stuff cool skill.
 
esoterik appeal said:
you need to pray for help with your english skillz.

don't bad mouth anyone's savior without some links, evidence, etc. you chode.
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Bad mouth?
I thought I was saying something good.
Furthermore, I happen to have clear evidence directly from the bible itself. Thank you very much. It is dead clear as day in biblical scripture that Jesus did slapped Mary Magdeline silly. I guess you don't know the bible books. chapters, and verses too well.
THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE!
 
cool skill said:
Through deep archeological research,
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I assure you, "deep archaeological research" and biblical mythology rarely have anything in common. There is no archaeological evidence of Jesus, the alleged christ.
 
Oh ya?
It's right here straight from the bible itself:

Jesus to Mary Magdeline after she came up short yet again:
"whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also."
-Matthew 5:39

EAT THAT!
 
cool skill said:
Oh ya?
It's right here straight from the bible itself:

Jesus to Mary Magdeline after she came up short yet again:
"whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also."
-Matthew 5:39

EAT THAT!
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M*W: This has absolutely NOTHING TO DO with Jesus slapping MM's face when she came up short. The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was practicing the ancient art of sexual bondage and discipline when he told MM to turn her other ass cheek so he could spank it. You people just don't get it, do you?
 
Some scholars believe it wasn't her face at all that was slapped.
The expression 'turn the other cheek' also appears in the gospel of Thomas,
in saying XXII:

"And one disciple, accidentally stepped on the hem of Jesus garment.
And Jesus answered him and said.
"Behold, now you have exposed the right cheek of my buttock.
Reach out and spank it, and see, I am not a Spirit or Apparition:
Place your hand between Mary's thighs also, and turn over the other cheeks.
When thou dost make small circular motions,
for a long time,
and Mary beggeth thee to enter the door of the Temple,
thou must delay for the raising of Lazarus."

(my own translation of the Coptic)
 
It is dead clear as day in biblical scripture that Jesus did slapped Mary Magdeline silly.
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In that passage Jesus was not talking to Mary Magdelene he was preaching to crowds. You're just writing rubbish and wasting people's time!
 
Spectrum said:
In that passage Jesus was not talking to Mary Magdelene he was preaching to crowds. You're just writing rubbish and wasting people's time!
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Wasting who's time?
Strong scientific evidence shows that Mary Magdeline was in that crowd.
Jesus was pointing right at her when he said that specific statement.
He had been looking for her all day, and filnally saw her standing right there in the crowd, pointed at her, and told her how it is.
It is only natural that somebody pointing at you when making a specific statement is directing that statement at you.
 
cool skill said:
Wasting who's time?
Strong scientific evidence shows that Mary Magdeline was in that crowd.
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Heh... and what "strong scientific evidence" might that be?
 
Perhaps. The evidence doesn't suggest it, however. Speaking of evidence, where's that "strong" and "archaeological" versions you keep blathering about?
 
I hope he touched her humps. My humps, my humps, my humps, my humps, my humps....
 
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